[drmaqyn13]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. In both of our cases this has been the best relationship we’ve ever had. We were both extremely scared to start a relaitonship because we had both been hurt and didn’t want to go down that road again, but we took a risk anyway. When we were first together he told me he had an ex-girlfriend of about 6 years, on and off again all through highschool and after. He said that she completely traumetized him, cheated on him, treated him horribly, and basically messed with his head. He told me he never wanted to deal with that ever again. That he appreciated so much that we could talk and that I was so good to him. We said “I love you” about three months in, and that just made everything even better, we were best friends but we were in a relationship, we communicated, everything was perfect. Then about 3 weeks ago we got in a huge fight, basically over nothing, but when we talked about it I said that I was feeling like he was pushing me away and that it was over, and he said “Why would you think that? I’m not doing that at all I love you” and we talked worked everything out, and we were mostly back to normal. Things were still a little off, but he was being very loving, and being the person I knew. Then he started getting somewhat distant, not being mean to me or wierd with me when he was in front of my face, but being wierd when I would call him or text him. I wanted to talk to him about it but everytime I was going to bring it up he would go back to normal again so I never did. This past Saturday we spent the night together and I was feeling very angry and frustrated and I was planning on talking to him but his friend was at his house and I didn’t get a chance to bring it up. I was going to leave and go home but he begged me to stay with him and cuddled with me all night. Not letting me go. The next day he was still being normal when we woke up so I didn’t really think anything of it. Then, I texted him and apologized for being wierd and said that I was just tired and I had found out my grandpa was in the hospital and I was just upset, I never got a response. Then an hour and a half later he texted me and said “Will you please bring my Xbox to work…” because we work at the same restaurant. I got pretty upset, it bothered me that I apologized, said what was wrong, and got nothing back but a request to bring his video game consol to work so he can take it home. I brought it but I was mad. When he got to work he came up to me and grabbed my arm and in a completely joking way he said “Did you bring my Xbox punk?” I pushed him off, gave him a dirty look and walked away. I know that was probably pretty dumb. We didn’t talk much the rest of the shift but it was me ignoring him not the other way around. Then when I left I asked him to walk me out, and he said he felt very dizzy and nauseas and he looked horrible, he was pale and sweaty and just didn’t look good at all. He walked me out and it got worse, and it looked like he was trying to catch his breath and I told him to relax and he needed to drink water. I apologized for my behavior that night, he said I’ll talk to you later, and walked back inside work. I really didn’t think much of it at the time, I just thought he had food poisoning or something. I go about my night, and I met up with another friend from work later, and he told me that when my boyfriend left his eyes were bloodshot, he said he threw up, and that he had to go home and couldn’t come out to the bar we all hang out at. My friend is kind of a jerk so when my boyfriend told him that he joked and said “You probably have aids” and my boyfriend got upset and said “Thats not f**kin funny” which is not a normal reaction for the comments my friend says. He told me he was very worried about my boyfriend and that I should probably call. I did and there was no answer, I left a message told him if he needed me I’d be there. No problem. To make a very long story short, the next day I went in to my work to eat randomly I didn’t have work I just decided to go in, and I was told that the night before my boyfriend had gone to a birthday party at a restaurant, got there at around 12 and was with his ex-girlfriend the one I talked about in the beginning. I lost my mind. I called him a hundred times that night, he never answered because I am sure he was terrified that I found out. When I finally heard from him yesterday he texted me and said I’m sorry… and I’m not doing anything (as in I’m not cheating on you because I accused him of it) but we should talk shit is complicated do you have today off? I responded not well because he caught me in the middle of a crying fit because I was so furious and scared, and we didn’t talk yesterday but we’re supposed to talk today. What could all this mean? And what do I do? Should I walk away no matter what he tells me? Or should I try and make this work?

[joe2424]

Ah, to be young again. Ok, so he faked being sick to hang out with his ex at a party? Did I read that right? This post was kind of hard to follow, but it sounds like you’re dating a boy and not a man. If he was actually sick it was probably stress! First, six months in a relationship is not crap! You are both still getting to know each other, and while strong feelings may exist, you both sound young, and have yet to live through life’s trials and tribulations. Love is way more than a feeling, it’s also actions. I’m not saying to give it up, but it’s important to learn from mistakes, both yours and his. The truth is, just by going by what you have said, he’s seeing his ex again, and has been in contact with her for a while without you knowing it. If you keep “blowing up,” at him, he’s going to feel the need to hide that stuff from you, because he is doing wrong, and he knows it. This situation should’ve never happened in the first place. If he intended to go back with his ex, he needed to break up with you first, or at least let you know he wants to be friends with her if that’s the case. Being open and honest is the recipe for a healthy, long lasting relationship. He wanted to spare your feelings because he knew how you’d react to him having contact with his ex. Someone who is ready to be in a committed relationship would’ve not tried to hide anything from you, he would have sat you down, and told you exactly what was going on. This dude is a weak chicken. Second, the minute he knew your family member was in the hospital, there should’ve been a phone call no matter what he was doing, or who he was with. Here is what I have learned in life so far when it comes to relationships. Treat people like you want to be treated. Have fun, life is too short. A strong relationship is not 50/50, it’s 100/100, and takes work sometimes. If someone is going to do you over, then that is exactly what is going to happen. There is nothing you can do about it. You move on, and start dating someone who will treat you like you deserve. The past is the past, and being scared to start a new relationship will only help you pass up somebody really great. Only you know the answer on whether or not to work it out with him. Trust you gut, it’s usually right! Good luck!

[JesseKim]

I think you need to find some facts like was he sick or did he fake it, why didnt he answer your calls, and why was he with her? And make your decision based on his responses

[drmaqyn13]

Doesn’t matter anymore, he is weak chicken, and a pathetic excuse for a man. We are through. :]

[relation]

Yeah you need to be strong to fight it off… Good to read u hv made your way…

[AskApril Masini]

It sounds like there is some unfinished business. It would be nice for you and your boyfriend to have a talk where you can find out from him what’s really going on. If he went to a party “with” his ex-girlfriend as his date, then that’s pretty bad for your relationship. If he went to a party and his ex-girlfriend happened to be there also, that’s not nearly as bad. But if he went to the party and his ex-girlfriend showed up, not as his date, but he didn’t tell you he was going to the party or didn’t invite you too, because he wanted to see his ex-girlfriend without your being there, then that’s not good for your relationship, either.

But the bigger problem is the communication between the two of you. Text messaging, IMing, chat rooms, and other electronic messaging is really great — but when you’re upset, the best way to “talk” is face to face. It sounds like you and your boyfriend need a long talk together face to face.

If you can clear up any rumors and miscommunications, and then work on your communication skills with your boyfriend, then you guys can move on together. Communicating is a practice. Just because you can talk and type doesn’t mean you’re good at communicating. Saying what you mean, listening well, and responding without overreacting or acting out, are all easier said than done, but they’re what we all have to strive for for good relationships.

[Ethan Morales]

There’s a trust issue forming. From what you’ve described, your boyfriend spending time with his ex whether it was planned as a “date” or not is understandably upsetting. Even if he isn’t cheating, the fact that he didn’t communicate about the event clearly is a red flag. Transparency matters, especially given the history he shared with this ex.

Communication has broken down. It seems like a lot of your stress comes from miscommunication: unanswered texts, unclear intentions, and mixed signals. Masini is correct texting alone cannot resolve conflicts like this. Face-to-face conversations are essential here, because tone, intent, and sincerity are much clearer in person.

Your reaction makes sense. Feeling angry, scared, and upset is normal. You’ve invested emotionally, and seeing him with someone who hurt him (and potentially triggers insecurity for you) naturally provokes strong feelings. It’s not “overreacting” to feel this way it’s a signal that boundaries and expectations need to be clarified.

What you need from him. Before deciding whether to walk away or stay, you need clarity: Why he went to the party and how he expected it to play out with his ex there. What he wants in your relationship moving forward. How he plans to reassure you and rebuild trust.

Deciding what to do. It’s not automatically over, but you should not ignore your feelings. If he is genuinely committed and willing to communicate openly, you could work through it. But if he dismisses your feelings, continues secretive behavior, or downplays the importance of boundaries, that’s a serious signal to consider walking away.

You need a serious, honest, face-to-face conversation with him. Go in ready to listen, but also ready to assert what you need to feel secure and respected. His actions, not just his words, will tell you whether this relationship is worth continuing. If you want, I can help you plan exactly how to approach this conversation so it’s calm, clear, and productive, without letting anger or fear derail it. Do you want me to do that?

[PassionSeeker]

It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of confusion and hurt, and I can see why you’re feeling conflicted. From what you’ve shared, his actions being distant, ignoring your apology, and spending time with his ex are definitely concerning. It’s understandable that you’re feeling betrayed, especially when you’ve been vulnerable and trusted him.

When someone truly cares, they prioritize communication and respect. The fact that he didn’t respond to your text but instead asked for his Xbox, followed by his time with his ex, raises red flags. Even though he says he’s not cheating, his behavior doesn’t align with his words.

You deserve honesty and transparency. It’s important to have a direct conversation with him about how his actions have made you feel. Listen to his response—does he take responsibility for his behavior? Does he show empathy and understanding?

If his response doesn’t make you feel heard or respected, it might be time to reconsider the relationship. Trust your gut, and prioritize your well-being. You deserve someone who makes you feel valued and secure.

[Marcus king]

From what you’ve shared, it sounds like there are a lot of warning signs here. The biggest red flag is that he went to a party with his ex someone who deeply hurt him in the past and didn’t tell you. Even if nothing physically happened, the secrecy alone is a huge trust issue. His behavior with you leading up to this being distant, not responding to your texts, acting differently depending on whether you were present also shows inconsistency and possible emotional manipulation.

It’s normal to feel hurt, furious, and confused. You deserve transparency and respect in a relationship, especially when you’re committed and have already expressed love. Before deciding whether to stay or walk away

[Flirt Coach]

I can feel how much this whole thing is tearing you up, and honestly, I don’t blame you. You gave your heart to someone after being scared to do it again, and now it feels like the rug’s been pulled out from under you. That kind of pain hits deep because it’s not just about him it’s about trust, safety, and what you thought you finally had.

From what you’ve said, this guy’s been through a lot with that ex, and it sounds like those old wounds never really healed. Sometimes when people say they’re “done” with their past, they mean it, but part of them still hasn’t cleaned up the mess inside. So when things get hard or confusing in a new relationship, they slip back into old patterns, even if they don’t mean to. I’ve seen it, and I’ve lived it too.

I’m not saying he cheated, but I am saying his actions don’t show the respect and honesty you deserve. When someone’s serious about you, they don’t disappear or keep you guessing. They show up. They communicate. They make it clear you’re the person they’re choosing.

When you talk to him, listen more to what he does than what he says. If he’s truly sorry and ready to be open about everything not defensive, not vague then maybe there’s something to rebuild. But if he dodges, blames stress, or tries to make you feel crazy for asking questions, that’s your sign to walk away.

You can love someone deeply and still know they’re not good for your peace. It took me a long time to learn that love alone isn’t enough if trust keeps getting broken. So if this talk leaves you feeling heavier instead of lighter, please don’t be afraid to let go. The right kind of love doesn’t leave you wondering where you stand. It lets you breathe easy.

Whatever happens, keep your dignity. You’ve already proven you can love honestly don’t settle for someone who can’t do the same.

[Isabella Jones]

Oh sweetheart, my heart aches a little reading this because I can feel how much you care, how deeply you’re trying to hold onto something that feels like it’s slipping through your fingers. When love starts off strong and suddenly shifts into confusion, it can shake your whole sense of trust. I’ve been there before, where a man from my past made me feel secure one day and distant the next, and that in-between silence nearly broke me.

It’s possible he’s tangled up in unresolved feelings or guilt from his past, especially with an ex who caused him pain. Sometimes people don’t realize they’re dragging emotional ghosts into their new relationships until they’ve already hurt someone who didn’t deserve it. 💛 You did nothing wrong by loving him honestly, but you can’t be the one to fix what he hasn’t healed.

If you meet with him, let him talk—but don’t let his confusion become your cage. Ask yourself this: if someone truly loves you, should you have to fight this hard just to understand where you stand?

[Tara]

Walk away. Don’t beg for explanations. Don’t sit through a speech about how “confused” he is. You’re not his therapist, and this isn’t a project. When a man’s actions scream uncertainty, your silence should answer louder. You don’t fix “complicated.” You end it.

The minute his name and his ex’s showed up in the same sentence, the story was over. He didn’t “accidentally” end up at a birthday party with the woman who broke him. He chose to go. And he chose not to tell you. That’s not complicated. That’s betrayal dressed up as confusion.

The sudden distance, the mood swings, the half-hearted affection — all of it was him emotionally checking out while keeping you around as insurance. His “I’m sorry, shit is complicated” text is code for I did something wrong and I’m not ready to own it. If he had nothing to hide, he would have called you himself the second you found out, not disappeared behind guilt and excuses.

And stop romanticizing this “traumatized by his ex” story. He’s not a victim; he’s a volunteer. He went back to the same chaos he swore he’d never touch again. You can’t rescue someone who keeps running into the fire.

[Sally]

I can tell this whole thing has you torn up inside, and honestly, anyone would feel the same. It sounds like you’ve been giving your heart to this relationship, but lately, he’s been pulling away and now you’re seeing signs that something isn’t right. Finding out he spent time with his ex, especially after acting distant, would crush anyone.

Before deciding what to do, let him talk and tell his side. But also, pay close attention to how it feels not just what he says. If he’s still hung up on his ex or you keep feeling anxious and hurt, that’s not a safe place to stay. You deserve honesty and peace, not guessing games. Sometimes love means letting go of someone who keeps breaking your trust.

[Natalie Noah]

My heart’s racing reading this for you. I’m so sorry you’re in that raw, shaking place, confused, hurt, and wondering if what you love is real. I’ll be blunt but kind, because you deserve clarity.

Something important happened that fractured trust: him being at a party with his ex (or acting like it). Your panic, calling, crying, searching is human. You were frightened and wanted reassurance. The bigger problem isn’t only what he did that night; it’s the pattern of poor communication around it. He didn’t answer, he texted vaguely, and now you’re left to hold all the fear.

Tell him you need a calm, in-person conversation. Not texts, not calls. Face-to-face. Script: “We need to talk today, in person. I need to understand what happened at that party. honestly. Can we sit down tonight?”

Ask direct questions, without drama.
“Who invited you? Did you go there to see her?”
“Did you tell anyone you were going?”
“Why did you ignore my call when I was worried?”

Watch his answers and his body language, not just the words. Real remorse: steady eye contact, specifics, no deflection.Vague excuses, anger, or minimising your hurt = a warning sign.

Set a boundary right after you hear him. “If you went there with her as your date or hid it from me, that’s a breach. I need transparency and respect. I can’t stay if you choose secrecy.” Give him a short time to rebuild trust with concrete steps (consistency, honesty, not hiding plans).

Decide from data, not panic. If he is honest, apologetic, and willing to change, you can repair this slowly. If he lies, gaslights, or refuses accountability. it’s your cue to protect your heart and walk.

A thing to remember. Love is shelter only when it’s safe. Your fear showed him how vulnerable you are that’s not weakness, it’s truth. He owes you respect for that. If he can’t give it, then loving him doesn’t mean staying and hurting.

[KeishaMartin]

This is a deliciously messy cocktail of emotions, betrayal, and temptation and yes, it’s exactly the kind of spicy drama that can make your pulse race and your imagination run wild. You’ve been wrapped up in a relationship that feels safe and intoxicating, a cocoon of trust after heartbreak, and then bam, suddenly he’s sneaking around with his ex, leaving you in a dizzying mix of confusion, anger, and curiosity. The betrayal stings, yes, but there’s also that forbidden thrill in wondering why he risked it, why he lied, and what exactly went down between them while you weren’t looking. Every unanswered call, every ignored text, every whispered excuse only fans the flames of your desire to know, to uncover, to understand… and maybe to punish him a little for making your heart ache so deliciously.

And let’s talk about the tension that simmers beneath the surface. His ex is a ghost haunting your perfect six-month romance, and it’s scandalous. You’re craving transparency, honesty, intimacy but he’s dancing dangerously close to the fire, testing your patience, your devotion, and your willingness to let him back in. The way he begged you to stay, cuddled you all night, and played the doting, loving boyfriend? That’s him tantalizing you with what you could have flashes of passion and connection intertwined with the guilt of deceit. It’s messy, it’s raw, it’s wickedly intoxicating. You’re furious, yes, but you’re also alive in ways that only forbidden complications can make you feel.

All unfolding with Christmas just around the corner. Twinkling lights, parties, mistletoe, carols echoing through the air and there you are, trapped in the heady mix of jealousy, curiosity, and longing. Will you confront him during a holiday dinner, let the awkward glances and secret histories mingle with eggnog and candles? Or will the gossip of small-town Christmas parties swirl around your heartbreak, teasing you with whispers of betrayal and stolen kisses? The temptation to act, to test, to seduce… it’s practically dripping off the festive garlands.

Do you walk away with your pride intact, leaving him in the cold glow of holiday lights, or do you stay and wade into the fiery chaos, demanding answers, passion, and perhaps a reckoning that leaves both of you raw, shaken, and achingly alive? Every touch, every confession, every heated argument could either shatter the fragile trust you’ve built or melt it into a sizzling, combustible desire that refuses to be ignored. Baby, this isn’t just a fight about honesty it’s a seductive game of risk, power, and heart-throbbing temptation.

[Member]

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