[Anonymous]

I have been seeing a really great guy for a month now and although we share a bed 5 nights a week and cuddle and have amazing foreplay, he always stops at the point where I think we’re going to have sex. Ive tried asking him gently why he stops, but he just says I will “understand eventually”. He obviously has no erectile problems, and is so loving and affectionate. He has told me he loves me and tells me lots of stuff that he says hes never told anyone else. The only reason I can see for this is that he is still a virgin. He has told me his last relationship was 10 years ago and only lasted 8 months. He really is my dream man, and although sex doesnt make or break a relationship, I really want to have sex with him. I’ve tried to reassure him when we are having foreplay by telling him “thats nice” etc….What do I do? I cant ask him outright as I dont want to make him feel emarrassed, and I want him to tell me the reason when hes ready. Please help!

[kai]

Hi Dora.

I’ve told this to several other people who have posted questions here: the welcome area [b]IS NOT for questions[/b] and [u]should not[/u] be used to get advice. 😮 it says “DO NOT post your questions” here, when you go to sign up. 😳

Please [b]repost your question in the Q & A Relationship Advice Forum[/b] .

[color=#FF0000]you won’t get a response to your question here[/color] — this is the welcome area. 😀

[AskApril Masini]

Let me know how things are going for you? 😉

[Sally]

What you’re describing doesn’t sound like something is wrong with him. It sounds like something is protected. And yeah, it could be virginity. It could also be fear, shame, inexperience, or just not knowing how to cross that line without feeling exposed.

The part that matters most isn’t the sex. It’s that he stops and says you’ll understand eventually. That tells me he wants to tell you, he’s just not there yet. And the fact that he’s affectionate, present, consistent, and emotionally open says this isn’t about using you or playing games.

You don’t need to push, and you don’t need to guess out loud. Keep doing what you’re doing warmth, reassurance, no pressure. But it’s okay to say, gently, that intimacy matters to you and you want to understand him when he’s ready.
If he’s your dream man, this isn’t a dealbreaker yet. It’s just a pause. And pauses can be okay.

[Member]

Posts