[Cloud]

Hi April,

I have been following your advice and everything seems to be going fine. But somewhere deep within me is the feeling of being betrayed and it’s killing me sometimes. I just want her to tell me what’s going on, so I can avoid that annoying dude by confronting him for what he did. I want it so badly. We both made promises to not to date other people and I have a feeling she is not keeping her part… How do I tell her how I feel?

[Ask April Masini]

I’m a little confused. You originally wrote me in 2011 about a woman you liked, who started dating your friend, instead. Then you wrote me in September of this year, and I thought you were writing about a new woman — but now, I’m not sure. Is this new question about the September 2014 woman, or the same one from 2011?

[Cloud]

Hi April,

This is a different women.
And also I think she doesn’t trust me enough to share everything. How do I gain her trust?

[Ask April Masini]

Is this the woman you wrote me about in September? Or is it someone new?

[Cloud]

Yes! April. She is the women from September. I want to stay with her for a long time.. Really long..

[Ask April Masini]

[quote]I have been following your advice and everything seems to be going fine. But somewhere deep within me is the feeling of being betrayed and it’s killing me sometimes. [/quote]

If you can find a way to accept [i]your part[/i] in what happened in the past, then you’ll be able to let go more easily. 🙂 Also, try to understand why this guy did what he did — and then, move on and focus on the present. 😉

[quote]I just want her to tell me what’s going on, so I can avoid that annoying dude by confronting him for what he did. I want it so badly. [/quote]

I’m a little confused here — how can you avoid someone by confronting him? And if you want her to tell you something, you can simply ask nicely. 😉 If she chooses to tell you, then you’ve got what you wanted. If she doesn’t, then you’ve got your no, and can decide what to do next.

[quote]We both made promises to not to date other people and I have a feeling she is not keeping her part… How do I tell her how I feel?[/quote]

I think you already know the answer to that question — if you want to tell her how you feel, just speak! 😉 But that isn’t going to change the fact that she’s interested in other people. It’s just going to create a problem between the two of you. Instead, decide if you want to win her over or not — because if you do, confronting her about others isn’t going to work. Winning her over, will! 😉

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[Cloud]

Hi April,
Thank you very much for your advice. I’m so thrilled to receive it and make use of it.

I have a completely different problem now, first I didn’t know if I should create a new topic for this but since you’ll guide me I’ll post it right here even though it’s not related to any women I wrote before.

This is about my sister and her husband. We r from India. They stay in Aus away from all of our family. My brother in law called my dad recently and told him that he is not happy with my sister’s behavior. He said she was not being close to him since past 2 years and she is behaving uninterested. He also mentioned few incidents which are interfering with their relationship. Like she was resisting to show her phone once when they had an argument. My dad and everyone are worried about their situation… I’m going to visit them in Dec of this year, so my mom said I have to do something about the situation before something bad happens. How can I change their minds to like each other. Or mainly my sis who is acting very uninterested.

[Ask April Masini]

Yes, please keep all your posts here! This is perfect. 🙂

Your question about how you can change the minds of your sister and her husband, so that they like each other, is a little bit tough because you’re not part of their marriage. The best you can do is to listen, if they want to talk, and to not pass judgment, but instead, to mainly be supportive of them as individuals, as well as a couple.

I hope that helps.

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[PassionSeeker]

It sounds like you’ve been caught in an emotional loop where you’re trying to balance friendship, honesty, and love and it’s draining you. You’re overthinking what she and the other guy are doing instead of focusing on what you bring to the relationship.

Here’s the truth, gently: you can’t force trust or honesty out of someone. The more you push or test her, the more distance you create. Right now, your energy is divided between jealousy, confusion, and fear of losing her but those aren’t attractive or grounding emotions. You need to reclaim your calm.

If you truly want her, act like it not by demanding answers, but by being open, consistent, and confident. If she feels safe with you, she’ll naturally reveal more. If she doesn’t, she isn’t your person and that’s okay.

Let her come to you. Don’t compete, don’t chase shadows. Focus on building your peace and purpose outside of her. When you do, everything including love begins to flow more clearly.

[Author]

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