[crjgirl2011]

Details of my problem is quiet long..would you take your time to read it? Please?

I & my bf have been together for almost 9 months. First 3 wks was great, then things started to cool down alot. I used to get upset that he didn’t give me enough attention. He said he never dated any girls who were so upset about sex like I did. We went without sex for weeks, when I was staying over, we didn’t do anything, even though he told me he masturbated every other days. I know hee does watch porn. 3 months after have been dating, I called him that night when he was at a casino, he didn’t want to stay on the phone w/ me but hurried and let me go. Then a couple days later, the day before I planned to come over to cook, clean and ‘make him happy’, it was Fri & I was upset that he didn’t spend time w/ me instead he was at a casino playing cards. He was upset that I had a problem w/ him playing cards, he asked if I needed a break as he felt it was a little overwhelmed. I thought everything was fine but evidently, it wasn’t for him & I hoped he would have been honest w/ me about his feelings. We ended up breaking up, I changed my relationship status on FB. He did, too & added a girl (Shienna) which I found out he deleted his new friend notification. I called & asked him, after a while, he admitted he met this girl at a casino, she was a blackjack dealer (he plays poker). I was hurt, but he agreed to remove her out of his FB. We didn’t see each other for a month. He still called and texted sometimes. We met in march, broke up in July.
In late Aug, we started seeing each other again. Things were going good I thought. I don’t demand him to spend alot of time with me before. No sex all the time is fine, I love him & being w/ him is enough to make me happy. My FB relationship status is back in being w/ him. But he never commented back or ‘like’ my comments on his FB, I felt like I talked to myself.
Sunday 2-3 weeks ago, he suddenly hid everything about us on his FB. I called & asked him, he said he didn’t want other people to get their nose in our business as he is a very private person. I believed him. So, I deleted my wall posts & comments on his FB, removed him out of my relationship status. Silly but we agreed that being in relationship status on FB doesn’t mean a person is faithful. His status is still “in relationship” but I don’t know who he makes it available to besides me.
Surprisingly, 2 days later, it was Tue, he added another girl on FB (on Sun) & again deleted new friend notification, I found out. I called, he was on his way to play cards. I asked about this Laly girl (poker dealer) and he said she was a friend. He said he deleted the notification because he didn’t want me to get upset. He then told me he needed friends in his life to be happy. I was hurt. I almost broke up with him again because of his hiding things habit. But I figure relationships have ups and downs, we need to work thru it. So, I let him be friends with whoever he wants or meet. Again, I try not to demand & being understanding.
When I am w/ him, I’m very happy. But when I am not, I feel insecure. I want to make love to him every time I see him (we see each other a couple times a week), he doesn’t initiate sex, we never did 69. When I am w/ him, we hold, hugs, kiss, we are very loving, but for some reasons, I can’t move my hand down to his “private” (I do want to),I only touch it if he shows a sign of being turned on. Still, he doesn’t initiate it, I like guys who are more aggressive in bed so I feel I am wanted you know?
The night before Thanksgiving, I left at midnight. He never asked me to stay. Last night, I left at 10:30pm, before I left, I tried to give him a lot of kisses but he didn’t seem into it or made time for me as he said he had paperworks to do. We didn’t have sex. After i left, he texted and said he was always sad when I left, then he said he felt lonely. I don’t want to leave either but he never asks me to stay, I feel lonely most of the time. If he didn’t want me to leave, why didn’t he ask me to stay or tell me not to leave? I don’t feel Im wanted by him, now he says he needs more friends in his life to be happy, and be friends with girls he meets at casino.
Tonight I wanted to call him at 11pm as I feel so lonely but I don’t want him to think I check up on him in case hes playing cards. He hasn’t replied back.
I have the fear of him not being honest with me of how he feels about our relationship. I fear that even though he acts fine but he may not feel the same.
There were 2 Tue nights I asked to hang out, First Tue he said he had poker tournament (the night I asked about the poker dealer girl Laly), the following Tue, I wanted him over for a candle-lit dinner but he didn’t want to come because he said he was tired from work.
I don’t feel this relationship is going anywhere. Im struggling to make it work. The bonding, connection, understanding & communication? I can’t seem to communicate with him of how I feel, I love him so much but theres something holding me back. He said he plays cards because he is bored, I would rather him come over and spend time w/ me instead of playing cards & meet girls.
FYI, Im 26, he is 30. We live in Las Vegas. Im a criminal justice student, he is a physical therapist. He can afford to gamble so Im not worrying about him getting in debts. I am just feeling so lonely right now.

Thank you so much!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He’s not that into you. He never was. You’re trying to make something work that isn’t going to. You’ve given me this long report because you’re searching for a glimmer of hope in the facts — but there really isn’t one.

My advice is that you move on — and read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], a book I wrote for women who want to find, get and keep Mr. RIght. It would be a shame if you wasted more time on a man who isn’t Mr. Right, again. 😳 The book will help you.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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