[Chyavalanche43]

I am and she is in love truly. Cannot explain how wonderful we are together. I have two grown sons and she has one 22 year old and a 16 year old. 22 year old didn’t graduate and 16 year old is now home schooled. 16 year old isn’t doing home schooling. He literally sits home and sleeps or smokes pot all day. Mom buys the weed from ex husband or other connects with her money. Also for the unemployed 22 year old. When friends of both kids come over she will also supply alcohol for all. She explains to me ” at least I know where they are”. I don’t agree with this whatsoever!! The home schooling requirements are to score a 17 or higher on an ACT. Test to be taken soon but the kid didn’t even know how many terms a president gets. I’m very skeptical as to how he is gonna fair on this test. If he does pass, GREAT!! But sleeping and smoking pot all day won’t work in real world. I’m completely in love but fear I need to move on for fear of judging and ” I told you so’s “. I’m also on the verge of becoming very wealthy and am afraid I get these two boys under my roof living as they are now. Very much in love and very frustrated!! She lives in TN and I now live in FLA. I couldn’t stand TN because of all the drugs and underage drinking. After youngest takes ACT IN FEB. She plans to move here until next school year. I feel I don’t want the kids here even tho I know it’s her fault for always saying yes.BTW. My oldest is 23 and lives with me (had to get outta Ohio) he smokes pot but buys for himself and that’s the way it always has been. He graduated high school a B student and did two years of college. Youngest is 22 and still lives in Ohio working on his masters degree at Akron university. My oldest holds a decent paying full time job and shares the bills with me. He is looking for his own place but just recently moved here.

[Chyavalanche43]

I know the answer. Just need help breaking up from being so much in love!! She is the first I have ever experienced it with.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m not sure what it is you love about a woman who is a bad mother, breaks the law, endangers her child, is lazy, and has bad moral fiber. 😯 Why are YOU attracted to someone who’s such a low life? It doesn’t sound like your feelings are mature feelings or healthy ones. You’re very clear on all her deficits, but the real problem here is what you find attractive about this person. 😥

Your instincts that you need to run (not walk) away from her are correct, and what you have to do is tell her that you don’t want to see her any more, at all, because she’s breaking the law, living an unproductive life, you don’t like the way she’s parenting her children, and you don’t want any part of it any more. Then you say goodbye, and stop connecting with her altogether. And at the same time, start dating women who don’t break the law, aren’t lazy, and will bring assets to the relationship — not problems. Honestly, given what you’ve told me, that’s not going to be too hard to find. 😉

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[Chyavalanche43]

Yeah your right on. Fell in love before I knew how she was as a mother. She is the sweetest woman I have ever met. Is why she does what she does. Never says no to anything! Then from being in love I tried to remedy this. I got a lot of bs not being done anymore. I know I can find another but at 43 just not sure I even feel like it anymore. I’m a one woman man who had a cheating ex wife. Don’t like dating that much. Idk. What a mess life can be. Thank you April 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You said she’s sweet…. but there’s no evidence of that. She’s certainly not being sweet to her children or their friends. She’s endangering them by providing substances to underage teenagers who could wind up in jail because of what she’s doing. If one of the teenagers to whom she provides alcohol or marijuana goes out and kills someone driving home, she could be held accountable financially and legally. And guess what? You could, too, if you stick around. She’s depriving her son of a good education — that’s not sweet. That’s mean and selfish. And she’s not being sweet to you because she’s putting you in a terrible situation. Someone who B.S.’s you is not sweet. They’re passive aggressive and they’re disrespectful. But they’re not sweet. You need to take your head out of the sand and understand that you say you are in love with someone who is not a good person. You referenced your cheating ex, and you have to look at why you’re choosing women who aren’t good people. I know you want this to be about her, but it isn’t. It’s about your choices in life and how you see people.

If you don’t want to date because you’re 43, and you think that that’s too old, or you’re just tired of it, then that’s fine. But if you do want to date again, and you should, it’s important that you choose wisely and keep your eyes open to who people really are, but more importantly who you are, and what you really want in a relationship.

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