Dating a single parent is different than dating someone without kids. There are a lot more people and relationships involved. Your boyfriend seems to have a civil and even friendly relationship with his ex-wife, and he invited you and she to Thanksgiving and one of their children’s’ birthday parties. He really did the right thing for his kids by inviting their mother and including you, too, so they know that you’re important to him. I’m not sure what kind of obligations you had that kept you from attending Thanksgiving or his son’s birthday, but it doesn’t sound like he did anything wrong. In fact, it really sounds like he did a lot right.
He’s including his children’s mother at Thanksgiving so his children can be happy having both parents, even though they’re divorced, around. He also didn’t exclude you — it sounds like you excluded yourself. Why didn’t you attend Thanksgiving with him? Or his son’s birthday? ❓ How do you figure that he was more accommodating of his ex-wife than of you? I’m not clear on that one.
My advice is that if you’re serious about him, to show him by accepting his invitation to Thanksgiving and to his son’s birthday and to understand that you’re dating a man who has children with his ex-wife and that she’s their children’s mother. She’s always going to be in his life in some way because they have a civil relationship and a mature understanding that their marriage didn’t work out, but they want to be together for the children several times a year. If this doesn’t work for you, it’s really good that you recognize it now. I don’t think he’s going to change — and I don’t think he should.
The question is, can you handle dating him, given his relationship with his ex-wife and his kids.
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