[amy23]

Ive been with my guy for 8 months now. It was amazing to begin with i always felt very special to him loved and adored. and then in the last month an half or so i have felt the total opposite whether its because i am insecure or hes doing things to make me feel this way. I started feeling like this when we went out together one night and this gal pulled him away from me by the hands around the corner and when he came back she ran past and slapped his butt, i was upset about this and told him, and he said ‘well i don’t think i did anything wrong, its my mates ex wife’. other times when we watch movies together or tv and he makes comments on hot chicks like ‘id do her’, would you?’ that made me feel totally uncomfortable especially when hes done it more than once. i also went on his computer one day and found pictures of girls with large breast tiny waist and perfect face, this immediately made me feel uncomfortable but didn’t say anything. previously i went on his phone to find messages from a girl in his class arranging times for him to pick her up, he didn’t tell me which i found dishonest and suspicious. he just gives her rides to the gym when she needs them which i really don’t like Sad. he thinks its fine. i neeeed peoples opinions please

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you’re getting to know him. 😕 The truth is that many relationships start out well because you don’t know each other much and on the surface, things seem fine and even great, but really getting to know yourself and someone else will help you decide whether or not to continue dating him. [i]It sounds like you’ve committed yourself to him before you got to know him as you do now, and because of that level of commitment you feel, you’re having trouble admitting that he may not be your Mr. Right. [/i]

Normally, I’d tell women to pick their battles and not make mountains out of molehills when guys admire other women. They’re visual. They like to look. As long as you’re the one he comes home to and you’re the one he wants, sometimes it’s better to laugh it off and allow yourself to be in on the joke instead of on the outside, brooding. However…. his behavior with his friend’s ex-wife was disrespectful and rather than apologize or understand how you might feel put off, he shirked his part in the behavior. And your finding his relationship with another woman on his cell phone, in conjunction with the internet porn, and all the comments, makes me think he may not be as ready to settle down as you are.

I think you’re realizing that the two of you are not compatible. I don’t think you’re insecure, from what you’ve written. I think you’re disappointed that he’s not more into you. Don’t spend too long in a relationship with the wrong guy and waste your time and his. Keep your eyes and ears open to decide if he really isn’t Mr. Right so you can move on — or if he is, but he likes to look and this is something you should just make light of.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[amy23]

My boyfriend had drinks in the weekend and he invited a few friends, which was three girls and one guy. When i first got to his house he had two girls in his room and the others were coming soon. This made me feel real uncomfortable because one of those girls was the girl he had previously been giving rides to course without telling me. I left an hour or so later to a friends drinks where she told me that she had seen my boyfriend giving that girl rides recently without even telling me. i would be fine if he told me because they are mates but when he doesn’t it just seems suspicious especially because i had only told him a week before to tell me. i text him and told him how i felt he practically ignored me until the next day so i didn’t talk to him. later on he came over to say sorry blah blah blah but he then tells me that he went to beach with two of the girls and the other guy driving, he sat in the back with that chick he had been giving rides and lying to me about. he also admitted grabbing a girls breast that night as a joke. i feel so hurt because he was to busy with them girls getting drunk while i sat around crying being hurt. hes told me hes really sorry and that he loves me and he would never be unfaithful but i just don’t know what to believe anymore and if i should stay in a relationship where i feel sad constantly. sometimes i wonder if its just me but people tell me its not.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote] i just don’t know what to believe anymore and if i should stay in a relationship where i feel sad constantly.[/quote]

My advice that I gave to you last time about this guy, still stands. Re-read it.

Believe his actions, not his words. He’s not acting like a guy who’s into you. He’s flirting with other women. He’s spending time with other women. He’s interested in other women.

Stop telling him you’re hurt and trying to get him to be someone he’s not. Instead, use the rejection as a gift so you can accept the truth and move on to find a man who is your Mr. RIght. 😉 I know you’re disappointed, but if you stay in this relationship, expect more of the same. 😳

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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