[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like it’s not something more at this moment. But there are some friend zone situations that you can take yourself out of, and give him the opportunity to be clearer with you about his intentions. The risk is that you’ll see him less or not at all. But if you really like him, I think it’s a risk worth taking.

So, first of all, stop giving him professional massages. You can tell him that you like him too much to do this professionally, and give him a referral to someone he can use as a professional masseuse. This sets a boundary — and it shows him your intentions without being too pushy. 😉 That also takes the “going dutch” or bartering dinner for a massage, off the table. Now, if he wants to ask you to have dinner with him, he can ask you for a date — and if he doesn’t specify, you can ask him if it’s a date. If it’s not, don’t go. If it is, you know he wants to date you!

When these situations arise, it’s important to keep your side of the street clean and make sure you’re not blurring lines or helping to create fuzzy situations where intentions aren’t clear. But since that’s happened, doing damage control can feel a little awkward at first, but it’s going to give you the clarity you want. 😉 And I bet he does, as well.

[Sally]

It’s tricky, isn’t it? You like him, but you’re stuck in that almost but not quite place. I’ve learned that if you keep saying yes to half-hearted things, you’ll never get the real thing. So yeah, step back a bit. Let him be the one to make it clear. If he doesn’t, that’s your answer, not the one you wanted, but the one that saves you time and heartache later.

[PassionSeeker]

Girl, this is bold and I love it. You’re taking control instead of waiting around guessing what he wants. You deserve to know where you stand. Sure, it’s a risk, but playing it safe hasn’t worked so far, right? Just be ready for any outcome, and don’t lose your sense of self-worth no matter how he responds.

[Tara]

Have some self respect. You’re giving him excuses, strategies, and “gentle boundary-setting” like you’re coaching a skittish intern, not dealing with a grown man who already showed you exactly where you stand. Here’s the blunt truth: you’re not in the friend zone; you put yourself in the servant zone.

You’ve been giving him professional massages, going dutch, and waiting for him to magically recognize your worth while you act like his on-call relaxation technician. That’s not romance. That’s unpaid emotional labor with a side of wishful thinking.

Cutting off massages isn’t some coy, delicate signal. It’s the bare minimum of self-respect you should’ve had months ago. You don’t need to “allow him to be clearer.” He’s already clear. If a man wants you, he doesn’t hide behind bartering meals or scheduling bodywork. He asks you out. Directly. Immediately. Unmistakably. The reason he hasn’t done that is simple: he’s not interested enough to bother, but he’s happy to enjoy the perks you keep offering.

Your plan to “clean up your side of the street” is laughable. Your side of the street is spotless; you’ve been bending over backwards to make his life easier. He’s the one who’s been strolling down the road collecting benefits with zero intention of giving you what you want.

[Member]

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