[whereartthou]

Dear April,
I am an 18 year old female. I know that I have plenty of dating and things to experience, but I’m in that “right now” moment. Right now, I have a boyfriend that I have been dating for seven months. About two weeks into the relationship he called me, but got my voice mail. At the end of the message he says, “I love you, bye.” It was very casual. However, he has not said it since. I told him in a text message once, in conjunction with wishing him a good night, and he sent me a smiley face in response! -.- This bothers me because I really have grown to love him, but…I’m not sure if he loves me back. Do you think it would be okay if I asked him if he loved me?
I also toy with the idea of breaking up with him, to be honest. I really do love him, and I think it might hurt me more than him. However, he doesn’t really make time for me. He isn’t blowing me off just to hang out. I THINK he is actually busy with school work and volunteering, but shouldn’t he still be able to make time for me? I don’t really feel like his “girlfriend,” but a girl that he likes and is sexually attractive to. We mess around occasionally, we hold hands, and we talk, but there isn’t the bond with him I really want. I also think he is too friendly with other girls. He is always taking pictures with them and saying how “cute” they are, and if the girl insist that she isn’t, he argues that she is. Am I just being jealous?
Now, the worst part of it all…I’m going out of state for college in August and he is joining the U.S. Naval Academy, so I know the HE has no intentions on us staying involved at all, and he has kind of told me that in a series of word games that beat around the bush, and whenever I bring it up he changes the subject. Here are my questions, I guess: Should I ask him if he loves me? Is it time for us to break up (in your opinion)? Is he too friendly, or am I just too jealous? Do you think I am being selfish to want more of his time? [b]Is this even a relationship?[/b]

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Wow. You’re all over the map! 😯

Let me try to answer your questions in order:

[quote] Here are my questions, I guess: Should I ask him if he loves me? Is it time for us to break up (in your opinion)? [/quote]

1. No. Don’t ask him if he loves you — especially since you’re considering breaking up with him. It won’t serve any purpose for you to know one way or another if you’re not even sure you want to be with him, so don’t complicate matters further. (And for future, if a guy loves you, he’ll tell you. Often. 😉 )

2. It is time you to break up, in my opinion, because he’s going off to be in the military and you’re going off to college. This isn’t a relationship that sounds like it’s very strong, so it’s much better for both of you to let go and move on.

[quote]Is he too friendly, or am I just too jealous? Do you think I am being selfish to want more of his time? Is this even a relationship?[/quote]

3. I don’t know if he’s too friendly, and you may be too jealous — but again, it doesn’t really matter since after seven months you’re asking the question, Is this a relationship?. Bottom line, you’re both moving on, so let go of any petty thoughts.

4. You’re not being selfish to want more of his time, but you’re not compatible because you’ve got more time to give the relationship than he does.

5. I think this has been a relationship because you said you’ve been dating for seven months. That’s a relationship. But it’s winding down, and you need to agree to end it as gracefully as possible. 😀

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link:[url][/url].

[Member]

Posts