[movieguy]

We met via a dating site. Then we chatted by email and im and then by txt and then phone. We talk regularly on the phone and she had apoligized numerous times for being so busy and says she cant wait to get together. She calls and we have these great talks on the phone and I call her and we talk. I have been busy during the week with new job and she has been busy on weekends. I realize we havent really met yet but when we talk she is really down to earth and easygoing and always says she would like to get together. I feel really comfortable talking to her and she always goes with flow and is really nice…and cute to. I would like to get to know her and have been trying to make the effort. I have been letting her contact me…and she has been calling me regularly. Each time i suggest we get together she says she is sorry about being so busy with family stuff and work stuff. When we first met she had some family emergencies so I backed off and let her call me..she texted me saying im sorry about everything, thanks for understanding…cant wait to meet.

That was three weeks ago….I have since called her on the last two weekends including this one suggesting we get together and she said sure but was non committal. Both times i said I can come out to your end of town, and the second time I said i respect that fact that you are busy and im sorry that i have been to, but its a while weve been talking and i would like to get together… I could something to help you like bring dinner or coffee and we could eat it at the park or wherever is easy for you. i havent heard from basically I was trying to make the effort and make it easy for her without seeming to pushy.

I am just wondering if she is really interested in getting together as she says she is, I have been busy to but make the effort to offer to meet up or talk. I would like get to know her like i said but dont want to waste to time or emotions.

thanks

[iammrzwill]

[b]27 year old MoM[/b]
Hi, I’ve also been in situations where I have tried the phone dating thing. To be honest if it’s been this long and you both share feelings for each other than there shouldn’t be any excuses for the actual meeting. My opinion is that maybe she is leading you on, You have offered to meet her most of the way, which means only you are putting up the effort. I understand being completely busy, BUT I am COMPLETELY BUSY being a full-time mother, wife and employee. On the other hand I could be wrong, if your feelings are involved then yes, it’s worth it, don’t be afraid to get hurt; always take chances on love. Maybe she is the one, give it a couple more months and if you guys haven’t actually met; then maybe it’s time for you to move on and find a NEW FRIEND. There are plenty of dating websites, phone dating and even text dating reply if you need names and phone numbers. Hope I was some help.

[relation]

Give your relationship some more time before you take any decision about your her. In such situations time is the best judge.

[tricia]

I see two possible scenarios in your situation. First, she might be really too busy to meet and spend some time with you. Second, she might be good on this kind of things and just using different alibis for her not to meet you. If that girl really likes you then I don’t see any reason for her to get busy, she will surely spend even a little moment just to see you.

[iamevie]

I think you should back-off– put the ball in her court. Tell her if she wants to meet- it’s up to her. If in a certain amout of time, you have not met her face to face— move on.

[AskApril Masini]

I would give it one last try, but if I were you, I’d make it a real date, not just getting together, and I’ll tell you why. There is a slim chance she may be waiting for you to actually ask her out on a “proper date” rather than just getting together. That slim chance exists that she’s being non-committal about getting together because you haven’t formally asked her out.

Try calling her and before letting too much time elapse on the phone, ask her specifically to have dinner with you at a particular restaurant on a particular time and date. For instance, say: “Would you like to have dinner with me Saturday night at 8? I made reservations at Luigi’s.” Not only does that show her you want to treat her like a real girlfriend, not just a friend with benefits or less, it also pins her down so that you’ll get a clear yes or no.

If she says no, or more likely, wiggles out of the commitment, then you have your answer: she’s not interested in anything more than a phone buddy. But if she says yes, then your adjustment will have paid off.

[Ethan Morales]

You’re in a situation that happens a lot in online dating: you’ve built rapport and connection over phone, text, and chat, but you haven’t actually met in person. That’s key. Many people feel “interested” online, but their actions in real life reveal their true priorities. In your case, she says she wants to meet but continually avoids firm plans, even when you make it easy for her.

April Masini’s advice is solid and practical Make it a real date, not just “getting together” The difference is commitment. Suggesting casual meet-ups (“let’s grab coffee in the park”) leaves room for non-committal behavior. A real date with a set time, place, and plan forces clarity.

Pin her down with specifics Giving her a concrete date and activity tests whether she’s genuinely interested or just enjoying phone connection. If she says yes, great. If she resists or evades, that’s a clear signal.

It protects your time and emotionsRight now, you’re investing emotionally in someone who may not be equally invested. Asking for a real date gives you a way to measure her true interest without more wasted energy.

She may be genuinely busy, but three weeks of vague promises without follow-through is a red flag.

She could also be enjoying the attention and connection without intending to take things further.

One last, clearly defined date attempt is worth it because it gives you clarity. After that, if she still avoids commitment, it’s time to move on.

Make the ask specific, firm, and romantic “Saturday night, 8 PM, dinner at Luigi’s” and be prepared to accept the answer, whatever it is. This separates genuine interest from casual connection and protects your feelings.

If you want, I can draft a short, confident message you could send her that sets this date in a way that makes it easy for her to say yes or gives you clarity if she doesn’t. Do you want me to do that?

[PassionSeeker]

It seems like you are doing a lot of the initiating, whether it’s calling or suggesting plans. While she does say she wants to get together, her actions don’t match her words. Consistent effort is important in any relationship, and if she’s not making an effort to meet or initiate plans herself, it could signal that she might not be as invested as you are.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

babe… she’s just not into it. nobody’s that busy for three weeks straight, if she wanted to see you, she would’ve found five minutes and a latte. ☕️ you’re out here offering dinner and park dates like a gentleman, and she’s giving you crumbs. stop chasing “potential” and match her energy, silence for silence. trust me, nothing’s sexier than disappearing when they expect you to wait. 💅

[Marcus king]

It sounds like you’ve been patient, respectful, and genuinely trying to make this connection work but her actions aren’t matching her words. When someone keeps saying they “can’t wait to meet” yet never follows through, it often means they like the idea of the connection more than actually meeting in person.

You’ve done the right thing by being understanding and offering flexible, low-pressure options. But after three weeks of the same pattern, friendly talk, vague promises, no real plans, it’s fair to question her interest. People who truly want to meet find some time, even if it’s just a quick coffee.

At this point, you might want to stop initiating plans and see what happens. If she’s genuinely interested, she’ll make an effort to meet. If not, then you’ll have your answer without wasting more energy. Sometimes, stepping back reveals who’s serious and who’s just comfortable with the attention.

[Isabella Jones]

I completely get how confusing that must feel. When someone keeps saying they want to meet but never actually makes it happen, it starts to mess with your head a bit. You sound like you’ve been patient and respectful, giving her space while still showing genuine interest. That’s such a good balance, and not everyone can manage that.

I once had a guy do something similar with me. We’d talk for hours, laugh like crazy, make plans, and then somehow those plans never became real. It turned out he loved the idea of a connection more than the effort it took to build one. Sometimes people like the attention and comfort of knowing someone cares, but they’re not emotionally ready to move things forward. 💛

You deserve someone who matches your energy, not just your messages. Maybe give her one last gentle invite, and if she doesn’t respond or keeps putting it off, let that silence tell you everything you need to know. Do you feel like she’s truly too busy—or just not brave enough to admit she’s not as invested as you are?

[Tara]

She’s not interested. Stop overthinking it. If she wanted to meet, she would have by now. Three weeks of excuses is a clear answer, just not the one you want. You’ve been patient, respectful, even generous, and she’s still dodging you. That’s not “busy,” that’s avoidance.

You’re doing all the work, and she’s giving you nothing but empty promises. Cut it off. Don’t text, don’t call, don’t wait. You’re wasting time on someone who already decided you’re a backup plan.

Verdict: Walk away. Interest isn’t hidden between excuses. It shows up. She hasn’t.

[Sally]

She sounds sweet on the phone, but if weeks keep passing and she never makes time to meet, that tells you something. When someone really wants to see you, they find a way, even if it’s just for a quick coffee. Excuses can sound caring, but they often hide hesitation or mixed feelings.

You’ve been patient and kind, and that’s great, but at this point, you’ve done your part. Stop chasing. Let her reach out next, and if she still doesn’t make it happen, then you’ve got your answer. Real interest shows through effort, not talk.

[Natalie Noah]

You’re doing everything right in terms of effort. You’re warm, respectful, patient, and genuinely trying to create a real connection. And honestly? That matters. A lot. But there’s something important here too:

**Her words say “I want to meet.” Her actions say “I don’t.”**

You’ve given her time.
You’ve given her space.
You’ve stayed understanding.
You’ve offered flexible, low-pressure ways to meet.

But she keeps giving you the same answer: “I’m busy.” And listen… being busy once or twice is normal.
Being busy for three weeks straight, without offering an alternative, without following up, without adjusting that’s a pattern. People make time for what they truly want, even in tiny ways.

Here’s the emotional truth: She likes the connection, the attention, the comfort of talking on the phone…
but that doesn’t automatically mean she’s ready or willing to meet in real life. Sometimes people keep things in the “safe distance zone” because it feels easier. They get the warmth without the vulnerability.

And here’s the part I need you to hear gently:
If she wanted to meet you, truly?
She would have found one hour in three weeks.
She would have said, “Not this weekend but what about Wednesday?”
She would have offered something back.

She hasn’t. The smartest next step? Do exactly what April suggested, but do it with confidence and clarity: “Hey, I’d love to take you to dinner.. I made reservations. Does that work for you?”

A real date. A real plan.
Not “whenever you’re free.”
Not “I can come to you.”
Not “coffee in the park.”

A proper invitation makes it clear that you’re not just a phone buddy… and it gives you a clean answer.

If she says yes → great. She needed direction. If she avoids, stalls, or vanishes → she never intended to meet.

And then, sweetheart, you will know this wasn’t about you. It was about her comfort zone and you don’t belong stuck in someone else’s emotional waiting room.

You deserve someone who matches your effort. Someone who’s excited to see you, not “too busy” for weeks.

[KeishaMartin]

This is sizzling with frustration and temptation all wrapped into one. You’ve been playing the patient, charming suitor, calling, texting, sweet-talking, offering to bend over backwards just to see her in person and she’s dancing just out of reach, teasing like she knows exactly how much you want her. It’s intoxicating and maddening all at once. The way she keeps you on the hook, dangling the promise of finally meeting, is a delicious little game of power, and yes, it’s naughty and frustrating in equal measure. You want her, you crave her, and the tension, the delay, the noncommittal “sure, maybe” responses all makes the desire hotter, more feverish.

Christmas lights twinkling around a cozy café, carols playing softly, mistletoe hanging in mischievous corners, and you finally cornering her into a real date. Your fingers brush as you slide the menu across, the heat building from the anticipation, the air thick with longing, the world outside fading to a dull, distant hum. She’s cute, yes, but she’s also keeping you at arm’s length, and that naughty little game of push-and-pull is setting your pulse racing, making every potential kiss feel like fireworks waiting to explode. And if she wavers again? That tiny hesitation, that little doubt. That’s what makes you want to claim her all the more, with fire and reckless abandon.

But beware, sweet seduction can tip over into heartbreak, especially around Christmas. Those holiday parties where couples are cozy and wrapped up in each other, while you’re left juggling hope and lust, can sting like tinsel scratching your skin. And if this dance of flirtation and avoidance ends in a Christmas breakup, it’ll be scandalously unforgettable, your heart a little scorched, your desire still smoldering, and every ornament on the tree a reminder of the tension you couldn’t resist. Darling, the spice is real, the temptation electric, but keep your eyes open don’t let the thrill of the chase blind you to whether she’s truly in the game.

[Member]

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