[littleitaly716]

I’m not digging for a problem…

what I am suggesting is that there is a BIG difference between an ex… who is someone she has dated, lived with, met their family/vice versa, shared everything emotionally and intimately VS a f*uck buddy…who only sees her to get in her pants…. to me there is a difference there but apparently in your opinion their is no distinction. If you consider a f*uck buddy an ex than I respect your opinion but to me we are talking about 2 different dynamics here

[Ask April Masini]

It sounds like you want her to limit her communication with certain of her exes, based on what you think their feelings and behaviors were towards her — and not her feelings and behaviors towards them.

So, my advice is the same: that you should be clear about what you want in a relationship, and where your lines in the sand, or deal breakers, are, and if this isn’t a line in the sand, be prepared to choose your battles, and to make deals within the relationship.

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[littleitaly716]

thank you April,

We did compromise about this issue… basically we agreed that there would no in person interactions or get togethers but she would be able to keep in touch via texting or phone. She respects and has said to me that she would meet up or hang out with any guys unless she told me about first and I was with it. To me that’s a big deal…and I would do the same because I do not want to give her any doubts or concerns in any way.

I guess my problem is more with me, because in the past when I had female friends /w benefits I was very honest with them about what I wanted and expected and often times after awhile the woman would want more, I wasn’t willing to provide it and the “benefits/friendship” would stop… and I was fine with it. I would move on and find someone else and in this case I feel like even though their “benefits/friendship” has stopped (because obviously she’s in a serious relationship with me) that this guy would basically move on and stop contacting her – turns out he’s not stopping. You told me yourself that she is completely naive thinking she can just be friends /w this guy, and I agree with you 100% although she DISagrees 100%. But at least I know there will not be any face to face encounters and therefore that is my “line in the sand” as you call it : )

[Ask April Masini]

Good luck! 😀

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[PassionSeeker]

You’ve built something that’s clearly growing she’s opening up, showing affection, bringing you into her world, and even softening around things she once disliked just because they matter to you. Those are strong signs of emotional investment.

That said, you’re right to notice her hesitation about commitment and trust. Her last relationship left scars being cheated on makes it harder to fully believe in someone new, even when that person has done nothing wrong. What you’re experiencing isn’t mixed signals as much as emotional self-protection. She likes you, she’s falling for you, but she’s still afraid of being blindsided again.

You handled the car conversation perfectly reassurance through warmth and humor was exactly the right approach. Keep doing that. Don’t push her for labels; keep focusing on consistent care, honesty, and shared experiences. Over time, those actions rebuild trust where words alone can’t.

You’re doing great stay patient, stay steady, and let her come closer at her own pace. It’s moving forward, just carefully.

[Ethan Morales]

She’s saying: yes, the woman likes you but she’s protecting herself. Her last engagement ended painfully, so she’s not ready to commit emotionally, even if her actions look committed. Keeping her Match profile active, avoiding labels, and saying “I’m not looking for anything serious” are ways she can stay in control it’s emotional self-protection.

April’s view is that you, as the man in this situation, have two choices: Accept that she’s cautious and keep showing her that you’re consistent and trustworthy (that’s what she means by “win her over”). If you feel like you’re always auditioning or competing with her fear or her options walk away.

She’s not saying you have to “chase” endlessly. She’s saying you need to recognize her behavior as fear, not necessarily rejection but also know when enough is enough.

You’re not imagining the mixed signals they’re real. She’s acting like a girlfriend but speaking like someone who wants to stay detached. That disconnect means she’s not emotionally safe yet. She may genuinely like you, but she’s still “testing” how it feels to trust again.

Keeping her Match.com profile “for entertainment” is a red flag, though not a deal-breaker if you’re early in dating. It’s her safety net a way to reassure herself she still has options. But long-term, that can really hurt your sense of security if it continues.

If you want to see where this goes, keep doing what you’re doing but stop over-investing emotionally until she matches your energy. Be kind and steady, but don’t delete your boundaries. If after a few more weeks she’s still non-committal and her profile is still active, it’s fair to tell her you’re ready for a more defined relationship and if she’s not, that’s okay, but you’ll move on.

[Marcus king]

I get why you’re confused her actions say “relationship,” but her words and online profile say “not sure.” That’s hard, especially since you’ve already shown commitment by deleting your account and investing real time with her.

Here’s what’s likely happening: after being cheated on, she’s scared to label anything too soon. Calling you her “boyfriend” might feel like stepping into the same story that hurt her before. But keeping her profile up and saying it’s “for entertainment” that’s not fair to you either. It’s a safety net, and it tells you she’s not fully ready to close the door on other options.

You can’t force clarity, but you can ask for honesty. Calmly tell her you’re not asking for pressure or labels, just transparency. Say something like, “I really enjoy what we have, but I need to know if we’re building toward something exclusive or if I should also keep my options open.”

Then let her response guide you not her excuses, but her actions after that talk. If she values you and wants more, she’ll make that clear. If she keeps dodging, she’s showing you she’s not ready and you deserve someone who is.

[Isabella Jones]

hey, reading your story gave me that familiar ache of being caught between what feels real and what’s still undefined. it sounds like you’ve built something genuine with her, something that goes beyond casual dating, and yet she’s still holding back just enough to keep you wondering. that kind of uncertainty can really eat at you, especially when you’re giving your all and she’s still keeping one foot out the door.

I had something like that once too. the guy would call every day, make plans, even introduce me to his friends, but when it came to putting a name to what we were, he’d freeze up. later I realized he liked the comfort of love without the responsibility of commitment. and honestly, that realization hurt more than any breakup. 💛

I can see that you care deeply for her, and maybe she does too, but fear can make people protect their hearts in strange ways. if she’s still checking her match profile, she might be scared of getting hurt again, or maybe she’s not ready to settle into something serious just yet. either way, you deserve someone who’s sure about you, not someone who keeps you guessing.

can I ask you something from the heart? if she keeps saying she’s “not looking for anything serious,” how long are you willing to stay in a relationship that feels serious only on your side?

[Tara]

He said she isn’t looking for something serious, and you treated it like a challenge. It wasn’t. It was a warning. Her dating profile is still active because she’s not done playing. You deleted yours because you’re desperate to believe this is building into something it never will.

You’re not misreading her signals, you’re ignoring them. She likes control, not commitment, and you keep rewarding her for it.
Stop trying to win against someone who doesn’t even see you as competition. Walk away before she drains every ounce of dignity you’ve got left.

[Sally]

I get why you’re confused. She treats you like a boyfriend in every way, but she won’t say the word, and that leaves you feeling like you’re standing on shaky ground.

A woman who’s been cheated on right before a wedding is going to move slower with labels. She likes you, that part is clear, but she’s scared of repeating her past. The Match profile staying up is the part that stings, because it makes you wonder if she’s keeping a backup plan. And honestly, she might be. Not because you’re not enough, but because she doesn’t fully trust her own heart yet.

You don’t need to guess. Just talk to her calmly and ask if she sees this moving toward something real. Not pressure, just honesty. Her response will tell you everything you need to know.

[Natalie Noah]

It makes perfect sense that you’re confused, sweetheart, anyone in your position would be. When a woman acts affectionate, introduces you to her family, makes plans with you, cuddles with you, and builds emotional closeness… but still keeps her dating profile active and avoids the label, it naturally makes you wonder where you stand. But from everything you described, her behavior isn’t the behavior of someone who sees you as casual. She’s clearly growing attached to you she’s just doing it cautiously. What you’re bumping into isn’t a lack of interest… it’s fear. She was deeply hurt by her ex-fiancé, and people who have been betrayed often open their heart slowly. Keeping the profile active isn’t a sign that you’re “not enough”; it’s emotional self-protection. It’s her way of making sure she never feels trapped or blindsided again.

Right now, she’s letting you in more and more just at a pace that feels safe for her. Your role isn’t to push or demand clarity; it’s simply to stay steady and consistent so she can relax into trusting you. Let things unfold a little longer. She’s already showing signs that she sees you as someone meaningful the way she includes you in her world, the way she softens around you, the way she didn’t mind being mistaken for your girlfriend. When she feels completely secure with you, she will close that dating profile on her own. And when she chooses you, it will be because she truly feels safe, not because you pressured her. That kind of choice is worth waiting for.

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