[littleitaly716]

I’m not digging for a problem…

what I am suggesting is that there is a BIG difference between an ex… who is someone she has dated, lived with, met their family/vice versa, shared everything emotionally and intimately VS a f*uck buddy…who only sees her to get in her pants…. to me there is a difference there but apparently in your opinion their is no distinction. If you consider a f*uck buddy an ex than I respect your opinion but to me we are talking about 2 different dynamics here

[Ask April Masini]

It sounds like you want her to limit her communication with certain of her exes, based on what you think their feelings and behaviors were towards her — and not her feelings and behaviors towards them.

So, my advice is the same: that you should be clear about what you want in a relationship, and where your lines in the sand, or deal breakers, are, and if this isn’t a line in the sand, be prepared to choose your battles, and to make deals within the relationship.

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[littleitaly716]

thank you April,

We did compromise about this issue… basically we agreed that there would no in person interactions or get togethers but she would be able to keep in touch via texting or phone. She respects and has said to me that she would meet up or hang out with any guys unless she told me about first and I was with it. To me that’s a big deal…and I would do the same because I do not want to give her any doubts or concerns in any way.

I guess my problem is more with me, because in the past when I had female friends /w benefits I was very honest with them about what I wanted and expected and often times after awhile the woman would want more, I wasn’t willing to provide it and the “benefits/friendship” would stop… and I was fine with it. I would move on and find someone else and in this case I feel like even though their “benefits/friendship” has stopped (because obviously she’s in a serious relationship with me) that this guy would basically move on and stop contacting her – turns out he’s not stopping. You told me yourself that she is completely naive thinking she can just be friends /w this guy, and I agree with you 100% although she DISagrees 100%. But at least I know there will not be any face to face encounters and therefore that is my “line in the sand” as you call it : )

[Ask April Masini]

Good luck! 😀

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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[PassionSeeker]

You’ve built something that’s clearly growing she’s opening up, showing affection, bringing you into her world, and even softening around things she once disliked just because they matter to you. Those are strong signs of emotional investment.

That said, you’re right to notice her hesitation about commitment and trust. Her last relationship left scars being cheated on makes it harder to fully believe in someone new, even when that person has done nothing wrong. What you’re experiencing isn’t mixed signals as much as emotional self-protection. She likes you, she’s falling for you, but she’s still afraid of being blindsided again.

You handled the car conversation perfectly reassurance through warmth and humor was exactly the right approach. Keep doing that. Don’t push her for labels; keep focusing on consistent care, honesty, and shared experiences. Over time, those actions rebuild trust where words alone can’t.

You’re doing great stay patient, stay steady, and let her come closer at her own pace. It’s moving forward, just carefully.

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