[blahblah]

Just wondering if people think this is a good idea. The way I see it its the only way i’ll get a proper answer. I’ve asked a few friends and they think I should meet up with her…

Back story:

– Going out 8 months (went on holiday twice together, one of those travelling half way across the world. Also went to her Dad’s wedding and stag do)
– Broke up in Aug due to “no spark” – (Total shock because of things above! Plus we never argued!)
– Got back together a day later as she regretted it.
– A month later broke up again, same reason plus she felt claustrophobic.
– A week later she goes off to uni.

We’ve been split up for over 2 months. She said it was the hardest thing she ever had to do, we agreed to stay friends and have been in low contact since, mostly initiated by me.

Last contact we had was yesterday when I emailed her to see how she was getting on. It mostly was just catching up and what we’d been up to etc. but then I suggested about meeting up when she was back (we said ages ago that we’d meet up at Christmas when she was back from uni). And she said “yeah that’s cool with me” – Maybe I’m reading into it a bit too much but why is she so cool with meeting up with me? She must know i’m going to bring up the “us” talk at some point when we meet because of how I brought it up in past conversations.

She definitely knows how I feel about her, and in the past I’ve mentioned about us getting back together and she couldn’t really give me a straight answer. She just said “I can’t predict the future” and she said “at the moment we both need space and we’ll see how things go”

I reckon the best thing to do is meet up with her face to face and just ask her straight. With email or text I think its harder to tell. She has been giving me mixed signals through the emails, they’re all friendly and it doesn’t even feel like we’ve broken up from the tone of them. She was asking quite a lot of questions and even asked me what i’m having for Christmas dinner?!? I know it sounds weird but it doesn’t seem the normal “chat” you would have with an ex.

I think when people want to catch up they still have feelings for you and want to try and make things work. If there were no feelings or anything still involved then there would be no reason to catch up, so to speak. In reality … if she didn’t care, she would not respond to my emails or want to see me.

It just seems to me like she doesn’t want to commit just yet and is waiting to see what she feels like when she is back. The thing is I haven’t even begged her at all to meet up, she said yes straight away!

If she really wanted to end it don’t you think she would just tell me there and then? And tell me there’s no future for us?

I know she still cares about me. What does everyone think?

[AskApril Masini]

Your own ideas of what an ex’s communication may mean is limited. 😕 Lots of ex-girlfriends are friendly with their ex-boyfriends and ask what they’re doing for Christmas dinner, etc. In fact ex-spouses often get along well enough to chat the same way. So, get it out of your head that she wants more than a friendship. In fact, that may just be all she wants.

On the other hand, she may want to get back together again — but don’t put too much stock in that. It’s also really normal to have not seen an ex in 2 months, and when he calls to get together over the holidays, to agree to that. But that doesn’t mean anything more than a get together. In fact, even if you have a little bit of romance, your pattern with this woman is that she breaks up with you even after what you think are important and meaningful times together.

I think it’s fine for you to get together with her, but just don’t expect too much. I hope that helps! 🙂

[Anonymous]

Thanks for replying and the advice! I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much about this, although it is looking better than it was. I have a good feeling everything will work out for some reason, I just hope it does! I did decide before that i’d meet her only if there was something still there and not just as friends. As time has gone on though I feel I need a straight answer which she hasn’t really given me. The only downside like is, that it will hurt if she doesn’t want to get back together but i’m just going to accept that and move on…

I just reckon that maybe when she actually does see me for the first time in 3 months that might trigger something. Also all the amazing things we did (like travelling), its not something you do with just anyone!

Just wondering what advice you have to go about this when we meet… How should I ask her? I was thinking of just catching up to start with and easing into it. I’ve also been thinking that maybe she’ll bring it all up eventually, you never know! She surprised me last time when we got back together.

Thanks!

[AskApril Masini]

My advice is that you invite her out for a holiday lunch date. If you make it lunch, it’s not a full on romantic commitment like a dinner date or a movie date would be, but at the same time, it’s just the two of you at a table talking over a meal, which would send her the message that this could be the start of renewed dating. As for how to do it, just call her up and invite her to lunch! Tell her you’d love to see her, and you’ve got this great little place you’d like to take her. Don’t be afraid to show your cards a little — those cards being that you like her and want to spend some time alone with her.

Then, go with good intentions of rekindling, but be very aware that she may have moved on and may be seeing this as a lovely way to get together with an ex — as friends.

Take the high road, and if she’s not into you this time around, be okay with that, and be glad for the clarity. And as for any confusion — if you don’t get a green light, that means she’s not interested.

Good luck, and have a fun lunch! 😉

[Betty Conner]

I think you are in a delusional zone because you are just imaganing things that may not be happened

Some girls don’t want to break their bond even though they do breakup with you because for them that friendship is matter

But if I take your delusion in positive way, there may be a chance you both get into the relationship again ,so if you want you can take a risk and ask for a date again if she agrees then your delusion may be come true

[Member]

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