[NightBlade]

Ok. So when I was about 13 , I met a guy. I thought he was around my age…but as it turned out he was 22. So, I didn’t think of him in that fashion. BUT he was still a cool guy, so I continued to hang out with him. He quickly became the best friend I had ever had, and I thought I viewed him as a big brother. As the years passed, I noticed a similar pattern with the guys I’ve gotten crushes on…they all had some similar attributes (whether it be positive or negative) as the guy. This also explained why it seemed I only liked one particular thing about each crush. I eventually realized I had done the worst thing imaginable: fallen for the older guy. So, I began mentally beating myself up for it, as unhealthy as that is. After all, I’m just a stupid teenage girl. With stupid teenage hormones that will go away because I’m a stupid teenage. I even began seriously denying all the facts that I liked him. I blamed it on being a teenager when I did slightly feel something. Now I’m 17, and the feelings have never went away. They’ve only grown stronger as the guy and my friendship grew stronger. For the past few years, he’s been treating me differently. Paying more attention, getting HIGHLY protective. He acts goofier and tends to grin a lot more. Calls me beautiful and makes sure to compliment everything I do.But, I dismissed it. He thought of me as nothing more than a little sis, after all, how could a guy like him like ME? Either which way, I had recently gained some information from one of his longest friends. That the whole time I had been beating myself up over liking HIM….He had been beating HIMSELF up over liking ME. Of course, she also told me these feelings of his didn’t develop until I was about 15. All of these years…I have been a complete idiot. But, my happiness was soon replaced with intense stress and worry as his friend told me more. You see, by this time, he had gotten a girlfriend. Apparently, he had gotten her because A: He didn’t know I liked him, no matter HOW damn obvious it was, and B: Because he was afraid he’d be alone. This girlfriend has been treating him rather badly, from what I gather. He’s been dragged away from his closest friends (even his friend that told me that he liked me). He’s not allowed to dress in his normal Elegant Gothic clothes…instead, he’s only allowed to wear what his girlfriend tells him to. PLUS, she didn’t allow him to go the festival he goes to EVERY YEAR TO HANG OUT WITH HIS FRIENDS. The guy has always liked to check up on me every week or so to see how I was doing (which should have been another hint to my idiotic self that he perhaps liked me), and recently his girlfriend has started to read our conversations over her shoulder. Whenever she does, the guy makes sure to talk about her a LOT. I know she goes when he stops talking about her and turns back to me. She want him to move to in with her…which is pretty far away. He doesn’t want to go, from what I hear. But, I doubt his girlfriend will take no for an answer. WHAT DO I DO?! I learned all of this in a VERY short time, and for awhile I kind of snapped out of guilt, worry, and pain. I want him to realize how bad his current relationship is, if nothing else. I don’t care if I get to be with him (as much as I would LOVE it), I just want him happy, and in a happy relationship. And if he’s really that concerned about being alone…I want him to realize I’ve always been here for him without actually telling him that I like him. I just want him to know…please help. What do I do? And I KNOW it may sound creepy BECAUSE he likes me, but just remember that’s WHY he felt so bad about liking me.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re 17. He’s 26 and has a girlfriend.

My advice is that you not listen to gossip from his friend and as harsh as this sounds, mind your own business. 😳 What a grown man does with his girlfriend is between the two of them, and I think you’re not being realistic when you say things like, “she makes him wear certain clothes.” No 26 year old man is made to wear clothes. He wears them because he wants to please her. And if he moves in with her it’s because he [i]wants[/i] to. I know it’s hard to accept that when you like someone who likes someone else, but it’ll make your life a lot easier if you see what’s really going on. 😉

It’s time for you to focus on guys who are single and who are interested enough to date you! I’m sure there will be many, but you have to focus on being open to dating guys who are available, interested, and who aren’t going to get in trouble for dating a minor when they’re not one.

Hope that helps. 😉

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

[Member]

Posts