[kaivethmouse]

Since he’s at work even though he’s not supposed to be (yet again!) I figured I will take the time to reply. That’s the best advice I think I have ever heard. Everyone tells me to get him to talk about his stresses, which doesn’t help all the time. When he volunteers the information I can see him visibly relax after but you’re right – if I nag him to tell me all that is is annoying and frustrating.

I’ve stepped up my game around the house, even though I already do most of the chores and cooking, he seems to really appreciate it. I wasn’t slacking before (I keep a pretty clean house) but his pet peeve is dishes and I admit, I hate dishes and like to save them for after dinner instead of doing them during the day. So now when he comes home the dishes are clean and put away 🙂

I’m excited for our Christmas together although if he is grumpy from work I may have to beat him with a sock, because he knows how important this holiday with him is to me. I’m kidding, mostly – I will probably suggest he go for a run or something while I get dinner things together.

Anyway, thanks again for the advice and I hope you have a happy holiday 🙂

[Ask April Masini]

That all sounds good, and you’re welcome. 😀

Have a wonderful holiday!

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[PassionSeeker]

You’re doing a really good job finding your balance, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. You’ve been through a lot, and the fact that you’re being thoughtful about what’s right for you and your son says a lot about your strength and growth.

This new guy sounds like someone who genuinely enjoys being with you, and it’s okay to let that unfold naturally without rushing to label or define it yet. Just keep showing up as yourself and let time reveal if he’s steady and kind. You don’t need to force anything good connections breathe on their own.

Your ex is clearly reacting to losing control, not to losing you. Keep holding your boundaries and only respond when it’s about your son. You don’t owe him comfort or conversation.

And for the ball go, enjoy it. Let yourself have fun and feel beautiful. You’ve earned some lightness.

You’re not doing this wrong, love. You’re just learning what “healthy” finally feels like.

[Author]

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