[kaivethmouse]

Since he’s at work even though he’s not supposed to be (yet again!) I figured I will take the time to reply. That’s the best advice I think I have ever heard. Everyone tells me to get him to talk about his stresses, which doesn’t help all the time. When he volunteers the information I can see him visibly relax after but you’re right – if I nag him to tell me all that is is annoying and frustrating.

I’ve stepped up my game around the house, even though I already do most of the chores and cooking, he seems to really appreciate it. I wasn’t slacking before (I keep a pretty clean house) but his pet peeve is dishes and I admit, I hate dishes and like to save them for after dinner instead of doing them during the day. So now when he comes home the dishes are clean and put away 🙂

I’m excited for our Christmas together although if he is grumpy from work I may have to beat him with a sock, because he knows how important this holiday with him is to me. I’m kidding, mostly – I will probably suggest he go for a run or something while I get dinner things together.

Anyway, thanks again for the advice and I hope you have a happy holiday 🙂

[Ask April Masini]

That all sounds good, and you’re welcome. 😀

Have a wonderful holiday!

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[Ethan Morales]

You’ve got good self-awareness. Recognizing that you’ve jumped too quickly into past relationships is huge. It means you can deliberately slow things down this time and really evaluate if this guy is a fit for you and your life.

Dating with a child is different, and it’s okay to protect yourself. Your priority is your son and your stability. That means keeping early dating low-key and not introducing a new partner until there’s real commitment. It also keeps things simpler if your ex reacts negatively.

Ex dynamics are tricky but manageable. Your ex may feel threatened, but that’s his issue. Keep clear boundaries, communicate only about your child, and don’t involve him in your dating life. The legal custody and support arrangements you have are your shield make sure they’re solid and stick to them.

Timeline is reasonable. Three months to evaluate compatibility, six months to consider monogamy this gives both of you time to see if your values, lifestyles, and goals align. Use this time to observe his character, how he treats you, and how he might fit into a life that includes your child.

Focus on knowing yourself. The more you’re clear about your own wants, needs, and dealbreakers, the easier it is to see if he fits into your life without rushing or compromising what’s important.

Bottom line: take things slow, keep your dating life private for now, and use this time to evaluate compatibility and boundaries. Protect your child and your heart, and let commitment come naturally once you’re sure he’s the right one.

[PassionSeeker]

You’re doing a really good job finding your balance, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. You’ve been through a lot, and the fact that you’re being thoughtful about what’s right for you and your son says a lot about your strength and growth.

This new guy sounds like someone who genuinely enjoys being with you, and it’s okay to let that unfold naturally without rushing to label or define it yet. Just keep showing up as yourself and let time reveal if he’s steady and kind. You don’t need to force anything good connections breathe on their own.

Your ex is clearly reacting to losing control, not to losing you. Keep holding your boundaries and only respond when it’s about your son. You don’t owe him comfort or conversation.

And for the ball go, enjoy it. Let yourself have fun and feel beautiful. You’ve earned some lightness.

You’re not doing this wrong, love. You’re just learning what “healthy” finally feels like.

[Isabella Jones]

hey love, I can really feel how much you’re trying to do things right this time, and that’s honestly such a beautiful thing. you’re learning how to balance being a mom, healing from a hard breakup, and opening your heart again—that’s no small thing. it takes strength to admit when you’ve rushed into things before and decide to move slower now. that kind of awareness already shows how much you’ve grown.

I think it’s lovely that this new guy makes you feel good and that you’re taking your time with him. that’s exactly what you should do—let things unfold naturally, without pressure. when you’ve been through chaos before, something calm and steady can feel almost strange, but that’s where the real connection usually lives. 💛

as for your ex, protect your peace. you don’t owe him details about your happiness, especially if he’s the type to twist it. just stay firm, polite, and focused on your child. that’s where your power is.

can I ask you something though? when you’re with this new guy, do you feel more like the woman you were before everything got complicated—or like someone completely new, rebuilding herself from the ground up?

[Marcus king]

You’re doing great by taking things slow that’s exactly what you should be doing. You’ve just come out of a tough relationship, and you’re being careful, which shows real maturity.

Keep enjoying your new connection, but give it time before calling it a commitment. Think in months, not weeks. You want to see how this man handles communication, stress, and your life as a mom before going deeper.

As for your ex, stay calm and businesslike. Only talk about your son not your dating life. If he tries to provoke or guilt you, don’t take the bait. The more you protect your peace, the less power he has over you.

Let the new relationship grow naturally, one step at a time, and let your ex see that you’re focused on stability, not drama.

[Tara]

You’re just trying to move forward without letting guilt or drama steer the wheel. First, stop worrying about your ex. He lost the right to influence your choices when he walked away. His jealousy or spite is not your problem it’s his. Your only responsibility toward him is co-parenting, not emotional management. Keep communication about your child only. No personal updates, no reactions to his moods, no defending your new relationship.

As for the new guy, you’re doing the right thing by taking it slow. Keep building trust and consistency before introducing anything serious. Four dates means you’re still learning who he is, not defining what you are. Commitment doesn’t run on a timer; it runs on clarity. When his actions match his words over time, and he respects your life as a mother, that’s when you consider exclusivity.

Your focus now should be stability for you and your child. The right man will adapt to that pace without pressure or confusion.

[Sally]

Dating again after a messy breakup, with a little one in the mix, feels like walking on shaky ground. But honestly, you’re doing better than you think.

With this new guy, keep it slow just like you’re already doing. Four dates in is still early. Let it breathe. See how he shows up over time. You don’t need a “commitment” talk until it starts feeling natural, not forced. Usually that happens when you both realize you’re choosing each other without trying.

As for your ex, keep it boring and business-like. Stick to talking about your son and nothing else. The less emotion he gets from you, the quicker he’ll stop trying to pull you back into old patterns.

You’re allowed to build a new life. Just take it one quiet step at a time.

[Natalie Noah]

Sweetheart, reading your story, the first thing I notice is how grounded and thoughtful you are about your own boundaries and what you want. You’re approaching dating as a single mom in a measured, careful way, which is exactly what you need right now. The new guy seems like he genuinely likes you. he wants to show you off to friends, he’s met your family, and he’s made a fun connection with your son without overstepping. Those are all very positive signs. My advice would be to keep enjoying this dating stage, continue getting to know him, and allow the relationship to develop naturally without rushing into labels or commitments. You’re doing everything right by taking things slow and ensuring you feel emotionally safe before saying “I love you” or making bigger commitments.

Regarding your ex, it’s clear he’s struggling with the idea that your life has moved on, and his jealousy and manipulative texting are attempts to regain control. You’re handling it well by keeping communication strictly about your child. Practicing boundaries consistently waiting a day or two to respond when it’s not urgent, not engaging in drama, and maintaining co-parenting professionalism will slowly reinforce that your relationship with him is over, except for parenting responsibilities. It’s exhausting, yes, but it’s also the healthiest approach for you and your son. The more neutral and controlled you stay, the less power he has to affect your emotional life.

As for the military ball and meeting his friends, don’t overthink it. Being yourself is enough let your confidence shine through, even if you feel a little nervous. For the dress, figure out whether it’s black tie or semi-formal, and pick a style that makes you feel elegant and confident; it’s about showing up feeling good, not stressing over every detail. And the “L-word” question? Absolutely wait until you feel genuinely ready there’s no timeline, and love spoken too soon can create pressure rather than joy. Let your relationship breathe, savor these early months, and continue enjoying the fun, meaningful connection you’re building. You’ve got this, and it sounds like something really wonderful is starting for you.

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