[righttight1]

Context:
I just was gh ost ed recently..within the last week .and I am so very depressed, heartbroken, and confused.
Been dating a person in my neighborhood for about 2 years.
Last Monday we made plans and it was the last time I’ve seen them.
Next few days went by without hearing from them or seeing them. They live fairly close and I know what time they are scheduled to leave for work and return.. usually we meet outside while they are coming home. .for a hug and kiss . I don’t ask for more time on those days to be considerate..I know they’re tired and exhausted from work..
Been waiting outside at our usual time, sometimes I stay out a few extra minutes in case they’re late or held up .. haven’t seen them coming home, nor anything. They usually walk home with their roommate and coworker , and friend because they work together.
I have been seeing this friend return..by himself now…and he gets a ride home now, instead of the usual 9pm return walk with bf.
My number is blocked, or he’s changed his number. Straight to voicemail. Texts on read. Sometimes when his phone would recharge we would speak and chat on Whatsapp.
Logged into Whatsapp 2 days ago and his account was there and active that day. I didn’t message him or anything…in case he didn’t feel like talking..I didn’t want him to feel obligated to respond . Yesterday logged in and was just going to say hi are you okay..but when I logged in, his account was gone and his number was on the invite contacts to Whatsapp list.
I didn’t ask his friend his whereabouts, because I don’t want to involve him, nor do I want this guy knowing that I’m concerned..further.. if he is alive, he knows and doesn’t care..I don’t want to get sucked back in, I want to try and move forward….
We live close by, so I guess very late at night, he moved. I’m unsure if he still works at his job or just left everything behind. I don’t want to go to his place of employment to see…it’s his job, and clearly he doesn’t want to be bothered with me…
I’ve checked his socials and his family’s looking for any “rip”, or “pray for him he’s in the hospital” type of posts.
I’m very confused. Heartbroken..and depressed. I spend my time watching the window of my house.. looking for him or any signs. Can’t barely sleep .lost my appetite..
He is from another country, so I wonder if Ice took him, or if he is harmed or deceased. We were talking about moving in together and everything.
I’m Soo sad and heartbroken . What should I do?
People on other sites keep telling me that I should contact and involve his family and the friend and go up to his job, and knock on his door. I feel like all that isn’t necessary..and I shouldn’t be the one tracking him down ..he should contact me.. also I feel like that is crossing boundaries and I don’t want to involve others..who may or may not be instructed not to disclose that information..I don’t even know the nature of their dynamics and relationships..he may not be close to any of them…I’ve tried contacting him …
None of these things would change his mind and decision anyways..and I don’t want him back into my life..

I miss him terribly and I long and ache for him. I spend my days crying and staring out the window hoping for a glance or glimpses of him.
Am I doing the right thing?? What if he comes back, what should I do???

Does this sound like this is intentional from him?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Listen to your intuition.

You said three things that tell me that he has not been taken by ICE; he is not dead or hospitalized in a coma.

* “My number is blocked, or he’s changed his number. Straight to voicemail.”
* “Texts on read.”
* “Logged into WhatsApp 2 days ago, and his account was there and active that day.”

What you have experienced is heartbreaking. It is also evidence of someone who wanted out of a relationship, without going through a breakup.

Be that because he is ill-equipped to handle what a breakup involves, like watching you suffer up close and personal when he tells you — or because he simply wants an easy way out — or because he simply is an uncaring, selfish ass — or because he’s a coward….

Whatever the reason, he left you and then took steps to disconnect himself from your life.

Now, I have an important question, and I want you to really think about your answer.

Why do you think it is okay for someone to treat you this way?

I am asking you very seriously.

You have listed nearly a dozen things one might do to communicate with him, see him, or get his attention — all in the hopes of changing his mind and getting him back.

WHY?

What you are doing is placing this man on a pedstool as if he were some great prize.

If he is sitting way up there — on this high pedestal — where does that put you?

That’s right. Beneath him.

Do you believe this behavior is the best you can ever hope for?

Because I sure as heck do not believe that.

You asked for my advice, here it is.

Put on your big girl panties and show that fool what he lost. Stop crying over someone who does not deserve you crying over them.

Decide who you are and what you want your life to stand for. Then get out there and make it happen.

I want you to make it very clear TO YOU that you are not some disposable, desperate, and needy girl.

You are a High Value Woman.

And, let’s be very clear: A High-Value Woman will have nothing to do with a man who has demonstrated Low-Value Behavior.

When someone shows you who they are. Believe them.

Words can deceive and manipulate, but actions never lie.

The one way I can almost guarantee he’ll attempt to come back is by you demonstrating to him, the world — and most of all, to yourself — that you deserve more and better.

And then, prove it.

Be her. Be that woman. …and never look back. (Perverbally and literally)

[Member]

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