[KodoOoka]

Okay, so this is a rather complicated case. I’ll give you a little description of me: Every adult I talk to for any length of time says I am unusually gifted/wise well beyond my years, as I am 14. I’ve been playing online games for over 2 years now, so I am no stranger to online chats and the safety precautions that should be taken, and I have strong instinct that has always guided me to see who is a good or bad person and who should be trusted and not trusted. So, I am decently experienced, and I know all the “creeper” warning signs, as I have had to deal with them before.

Around a year and a half ago, I joined a RTS (real time strategy) game. I excelled quickly, becoming one of the youngest known members who was actually social and friendly and mature enough to be confused with an actual adult and not one of those “omg u iz gon dawnnnn u haxor” gamers. I eventually left the group (alliance) I had joined around 4 months previously and entered into a much smaller and less powerful alliance, where I quickly became an idol. I rose through the ranks, gaining entry into their high command.

Fast forward around a month.

So, in the alliance chat one night one of our ally’s leaders was talking, and one of our officers suggested an idea. Since we were all like one huge family, he suggested we made a family tree. Everyone immediately responded, “YES!” and began suggesting options. Of course, I was everyone’s little sister since I was the youngest known in the alliance. However, we wanted to include our ally’s leader, L (for privacy purposes), in the tree. So, of course, they came up with this great idea when I was at dinner with my family. Let’s arrange a marriage between F and L!

So, when I came back, the first thing I saw on the game’s world chat was, “F, will you marry me?” and I looked in alliance chat (AC) and everyone was badgering me to say yes. After about 5 minutes of freaking out on them, I gave in and said yes, thinking that everyone will forget about it in a week. I was wrong.

In October, we got “married”. It really wasn’t anything special, and we were both scared as h*** because we didn’t really even know each other and, well, he is an introvert, so it was a bit awkward. However, we did silently agree to be friends and to respect each other’s personal space. And my feelings for him stayed at a “friend only” level.

Well, until about 4 months after we got married. I knew immediately. He was offline for a week for a vacation, and I missed him so much it hurt. Literally. I tried EVERYTHING to distract me. EVERYTHING. I also researched if there was any way to “unlike” someone. It was bad. I was desperate. After about a month of suffering under my emotions, I HAD to tell someone. So, I went to an officer in his alliance, A. A, after a lot of “awwwwwwwww”‘s, told me to just tell him. And so, after about an hour of bugging me, I mustered up the courage to tell him. He partially friend-zoned me, but not all the way to the black hole of friend-zone doom. It is mostly because of the long distance issue. He lives in California, and I live in Illinois. And we are both under the legal age (he is one and a half years older than me). So, partially defeated, I was able to put my feelings partially aside. Partially.

(zoom ahead to two months ago)

And this is where it gets weird. I still have very strong feelings for him (since I’m not sure if it is love – but I have it baaad -.-) and he begins acting… weird. Like, much more personal than before. He adopted the routine of *hug*’s when I go offline, and started really talking about what he is doing in real life at the given time and stories about his family’s traditions. We even were playing a game, and it was idling, and I partially fell asleep, and my chat started beeping as he tried to wake me up! (Not saying I didn’t like it… hehe)

Needless to say, I began suspecting he was reconsidering me as a possibility.

Now, in the past month, he made me download a game platform and we would challenge each other to Battleship, Tic Tac Toe, and other games, including multiplayer paint! I was thrilled, because we both were having fun, and we were getting closer. And then, I had to go to camp for a weekend. When I came back, he was leaving out of state for a tournament, and he entrusted me with his account to watch over. And this is where it gets really confusing. He told me, right before he had to go, “I will really miss you…”. I was stunned, to say the least. As far as I had seen, ever, he had NEVER told anyone something personal like that. I am sure I smiled myself to sleep.

And after 9 days he came back. I don’t know what his tournament did to him, but it changed him in some way. He became almost flirty in his comments, or at least, more like a shy boyfriend would act towards his girlfriend. He was complimenting me, even when I wasn’t watching, which he has never done before. It was really, really weird.

And yesterday, we were in this huge group chat (over 120 people huge) and we were arguing about something and one of my friends, M, told us, “You lovers need to stop arguing. -.-“. And so I pretended to go away from the keyboard for a second, like to use the restroom or something quick, and when I came back L hadn’t even denied it! I about screamed. So I continued to watch, and the other people started talking about their girlfriends, and L came in and was saying that he was single, and was quite serious about it. Another brownie point for him!

Anyway, no, we are not dating. No, I don’t get that bad feeling around him, and yes, I know he is who he is. However, I have never dated before. So, I am awkward when it comes to relationships. So, I went to my friends, and none of them knew what I could do. I do feel great attraction for him, and I care about him deeply, to the point of doing almost anything for him. So, I have come to you for help. What should I do? I am a bit desperate now, and I really need some advice. Hopefully this wasn’t too confusing and you can kind of understand me. Please help? Thank you so much in advance!

~Ooka

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You have a crush on a 16 year old guy you met online, (and he may have one on you, too), but he lives in another state. There’s pretty much no chance of ever meeting in person, so my advice is that you broaden your horizons, and start doing things off line, so you’re not so focused on what’s happening online with people you’ll never meet. 😳

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