[Anonymous]

Hi there,

I’m Tim and I live in the UK. A few months ago I met a girl on the internet from America. We got on really well for a few weeks before admitting to one another that we had a crush on each other. So we planned on seeing each other in a months time. And while waiting, it was hard obviously, but really exciting, so we didn’t mind that much. So I spent two weeks with her, and it was great, we fell in love, and it was just amazing.
But then I got back, and since, it’s been really hard not being with each other. I keep telling her that even though I’m finding it hard, I’m willing to wait until we can be together again, because I think what we have is worth it. But she doesn’t really know what to do. She says she doesn’t [i]want[/i] to split up, but it might be for the best.
Anyway, we’ve been talking about perhaps splitting up and what that would bring for the past week or so, it’s all we talk about, and it’s just making us feel worse and worse about the whole thing. I really love her, and I’ve never felt this way about someone before. We’ve decided to try and be more positive about it, and try not to talk about the distance or splitting up.
I don’t know if it will work. And I know I can’t make her wait for me. I’m just confused and a bit lost. I’m also at a point in my life where all my plans and friends have deserted me. So it feels like she’s the only thing I have. And maybe that’s why I’m so scared to let her go. And maybe along with the distance it’s amplifying my feelings towards her. I just don’t know.

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

[Ask April Masini]

If you really wanted a genuine relationship, you wouldn’t have chosen someone who lives in another country to fall in love with. You knew the odds of your seeing each other on any regular basis were stacked against you, so let’s figure out what’s really going on here, because I don’t think it’s this girl.

I think you have other problems in your life that you only allude to in your post — that everyone in your life has abandoned you and that you have no plans or that they haven’t worked out. My guess is that you chose this girl because she was a good distraction from your real problems which have to do with your own life.

My advice to you is to be realistic that this girlfriend in another country, whom you’ve only ever spent 2 weeks together with, is not going to work out, and that you’re using the time you spend worrying about her and her feelings and your feelings about her and this sham relationship to avoid the real problems in your life.

Buckle down, and figure out what’s REALLY wrong, and address that. This relationship isn’t a real one. Sorry.

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