[ellendanielle22]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years. We are very in love and plan to seek a future together. I recently moved across the country to be with him for the summer and planned to go back to school on the opposite side of the country come September. However, the closer it is to the leaving date, the more I doubt this is the right decision. I have a very good feeling I am going to be miserable without him. Should I stay with him and go to school where he is or should I go home and do a life on my own? The other complication with me staying is that, we don’t get much time together anyways because of his 14-15 hour days at work. But is something better than nothing?? Please offer any advice you may have and if you think going back to school is the right thing, how do we make the long distance work and not overtake my life with sadness?

[AskApril Masini]

How old are you both?

[ellendanielle22]

We have been together three years. I am 22 and he is 26.

[AskApril Masini]

Unless he asks you to move in with him or asks you to marry him, I think your deciding to move to be with him simply because you’ll miss him, is a bad idea. 😳 At his age, after dating three years, he should be deciding whether or not to marry you, and even though you’ve discussed it, you still need to wait for him to ask you.

I know you’ve had a long distance relationship for the better part of three years, so I’m not sure why you need to know how to make it work [i]now[/i]. It sounds like it has been working. What’s changed? ❓

[ellendanielle22]

No, we have lived together at school for two plus years and he recently got a job on the other side of the country which he took under the circumstance I would come with him for at least the summer. So I came out with him for the summer and he is practically begging me to stay with him and live with him. I’m just trying to decide if I should go back and finish school normally away from him, or stay with him here and finish my schooling online.

[AskApril Masini]

I think you should stick to your original plan and finish school where you are currently enrolled. He’s starting a new phase of his life, and it’s important that he’s successful at it. Until he establishes that success with a track record any distraction or complication is going to work against your relationship. Your being present and missing him and being unhappy about that will affect him negatively. So go back to school and miss him from afar! Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and it can be healthy for a relationship to sacrifice for the greater good.

It’s also important that you don’t sell yourself short. Online schooling is not as rich an experience as in person schooling, so give yourself the gift of a good education. You can visit on your school breaks, and the time away will give you both the clarity to decide if marriage is a good next step. 😀

I think you actually know that this is the right thing to do, which is why you’re asking me at all. Feelings are very powerful, but just because you have a feeling doesn’t mean that you should act on it. Use your brain on this one! 😉

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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