[maria]

I’m in the process of getting a divorce after 8 years of marriage. i’ve seeked legal representation except for one problem. my lawyer is a year younger than my soon to be ex and quite handsome. i can’t get him out of my head. i think romantic thoughts about him all the time. going to his home, having dinner with him and you can imagine what else. i’ve found myself trying to look up his profile on the internet just to see a picture. i’m 38 and my soon to be ex is going to be 33 so my lawyer is 32 and very successful obviously. i liked what i saw the first time i met him in his office and like his voice (quite deep), attitude and work style. i didn’t catch if he was married but he said his anniversary is or was the day after mine. what does it mean? need help.

[Ask April Masini]

Get a grip. Your attorney is going to charge you anywhere from $250 an hour to $750 an hour depending on where you live and what kind of credentials he has. You will pay for phone calls, faxes, e-mails and any writing he does as well as court appearances at that hourly rate. This includes calls where you are flirting with him. You can’t afford this kind of silliness. It’s understandable that you’re lonely and ready to date since you’re divorcing. Lesson number one: do not date your divorce attorney. You are asking for trouble. If he goes out with you, kisses you or sleeps with you, he can get disbarred. Forever.

Try online dating. Ask your friends to fix you up with eligible men. And as a word of advice, keep your dating on the down low from your ex-husband while you’re in litigation. Even if he’s the one who asked for the divorce, men have a funny of way of becoming infuriated when their ex-wives start to date. There is no reason for you to flaunt this or even allow your ex to know about your dating now.

Cute attorneys are not that rare. Find a single one who is not representing you.

[tricia]

Obviously, your lawyer is no longer available, you just didn’t know if his married or just into a serious relationship.

It’s also pretty obvious that your attracted on that guy but the question is… does he feel the same way? I suggest you to focus first on the divorce and once you were single again then that’s the right time to entertain your feelings towards him

[maria]

thanks for the two replies. i needed a kick in the pants about it. i would not entertain the idea of going after him while he was representing me. i understand he could get in trouble and i wouldn’t want that to happen. what is your opinion on if the case was over so all bets are off. this is just a what if.. the suspense is killing me.

[Ask April Masini]

If your divorce does not concern children, then chances are that once your divorce is ordered by the court and your property has been settled up, you’re done with your divorce and your attorney. At that point I see no reason why you can’t date your attorney.

But, if you have children from the marriage that is ending in divorce, then the chances are that you’ll be needing your attorney for working out custody changes or child support modifications throughout the course of the kids’ minority (until they are 18), so in that case, you can’t date your attorney. Unless, of course, you want to fire this attorney and get a new one. There’s nothing wrong with that.

My concern is that you focus on getting a good divorce while you’re in the middle of it, and not get distracted. I would hate for you to look back in several years and say to yourself, Gosh, I got a bad divorce settlement or judgment because I was so distracted by my feelings for my attorney I didn’t speak up or ask questions. I want you to focus on what’s important right this second, which is your divorce.

But once you’re divorced, and you’re done with your attorney as an attorney, go for it!

[maria]

hello april,
thank you for the recent reply and not getting distracted. you helped me out with answers to my questions. it helps put things in perspective. i appreciate it.

[Ask April Masini]

Let me know how things are going for you…. 😀

[Ethan Morales]

your lawyer is a professional, not a romantic prospect. That “deep voice, handsome looks, and anniversary comment” are just superficial details you’re projecting feelings onto someone whose job is to represent you, not date you. Acting on these thoughts would be a huge ethical and legal mistake for both of you.

It’s totally normal to feel attracted to someone during a stressful, lonely period like divorce, but your energy is better spent on safe, appropriate ways to meet men. Try online dating, ask friends to set you up, or explore social activities that align with your interests. Your lawyer is there to help you navigate your divorce, not be part of your personal life.

And a practical tip: whenever you catch yourself fantasizing about him, redirect that energy take a walk, call a friend, or plan a date with someone appropriate. Protect your emotions and your case.

This crush is natural, but acting on it would be a disaster.

[PassionSeeker]

It makes perfect sense that you’re drawn to him right now. You’re coming out of an emotionally heavy marriage, and he’s confident, capable, and giving you the kind of focused attention you’ve probably been missing for a long time. That combination can be intoxicating especially when you’re vulnerable and craving connection.

But here’s the reality: while he’s representing you, this can’t cross any lines. It would put both of you in a messy, unethical position and could even jeopardize your case. So for now, the best thing you can do is channel that attraction into motivation focus on closing this chapter cleanly and reclaiming your independence.

Once the divorce is finalized and there’s no professional tie between you, then you can reassess your feelings. By that point, the emotional fog will have lifted and you’ll know whether it’s genuine chemistry or just comfort in the middle of chaos.

Right now, prioritize your freedom not another entanglement. You deserve a fresh start, not a rebound wrapped in a legal brief.

[Marcus king]

Here’s the thing what you’re feeling isn’t strange, but it is tricky. You’re in an emotional storm right now heartbreak, vulnerability, freedom all tangled together and your lawyer just happens to be a calm, confident man helping you navigate it. That combo can easily blur into attraction.

But let’s be real: acting on that right now would be messy. You’re still in a divorce, he’s your legal counsel, and any boundary crossed could hurt both of you professionally for him, emotionally for you.

Best move? Keep it professional until the case is closed. Once the divorce is final and some time’s passed, if you still feel the same way, then maybe test the waters casually a coffee, not a confession. For now, protect your peace and don’t let a rebound feeling cloud your judgment.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

ohhh babe 😏 not you catching feelings for your divorce lawyer. that’s like emotional whiplash with paperwork. look, he’s hot, he’s confident, he’s literally helping you escape a man of course your brain’s turning it into a fantasy. you’re craving new energy, not necessarily him. so keep it professional. finish the divorce first, then see if you still want his bar number or just closure. 😉💅🏼

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