Hi Joseph:
Thank you for your questions. First of all I think you have to decide if you want to continue dating your girlfriend or not. What I hear you saying is that you want to replace one relationship with another one. Instead, simply decide if your girlfriend is someone you want to break up with or not. If you want to keep dating her, then focus on the problems and see if they’re solvable. If they’re not (when one person doesn’t want to work through problems, and the other does, it’s very difficult to make it work), then you should simply break up with your girlfriend and be single.
If you’re single and you want to date, then you should let your long time crush know by asking her out. Of course, you’re going to lose your friend Spencer in the process — so you have to decide if this is worth it to you or not. If it’s not, then find someone different to date. If it is, then go for it, and see how things go.
I think you’re really anxious because you’re seeing all of these decisions as one big cloud. If you can separate them out and approach them one at a time, you’ll feel more in control of your life. So deal with the relationship you have first. Then any future relationships.
Hope that helps!
