[ChopstickMick]

I don’t even know what to say, but I have to say it.

I’ve been friends with this dude, David, for like… years. We didn’t date or anything, but we grew up together and were very close.

Then, last year my best friend Sally started dating him. I was excited for her, and I was like, “Okay, whatever, they’ll be a good couple.

When the two of them got together, David and I … well, we sort of started talking a whole lot more. Just catching up like old times.

But then one night after we all hung out at the bar, Sally left early ‘cause she felt like shit and David and I made our way back to his apartment.

I mean, we really only just started talking, but the next thing you know it got crazy and we ended up in bed.

And now I’m all messed up over it. I don’t even know if I like him like that. I might just have wanted to show myself that I could have him even though he’s with Sally. But that feels so messed up.

Now, I don’t know what to do. I always think about David, 24/7. Since that night we’ve hung out more, and it’s like this thing is growing between us, but I know it isn’t right.

And the thing is, Sally’s been telling me for months now that David cheats on her. She tells me constantly how much it hurts, and she still won’t leave him.I just don’t see why she wouldn’t. I’ve told her she deserves better.

But Sally’s been acting strange since that night at the bar. I’m not sure she really trusts me anymore. I think she’s caught something and she’s shook. She’s not saying it, but I can tell.

Honestly I’m a little offended, at this point. I’ve been her best friend this whole time. I didn’t even mean to take things that far with David. And, David is the serial cheat, she coulda just left him.

Should I just break things off with David and completely disentangle myself from him, or should I be honest with Sally? But if I say it to her, it could wreck everything.

Somebody help me; AskApril help, what do i do?

[AskApril Masini]

Good grief. First off, why on earth would you intentionally perpetuate this completely unhealthy situation? It sounds to me like you and Sally are in some weird type of competition with one another and it is not serving either one of you well. Equally, neither of you is behaving like women who have respect for themselves, to say nothing of others.

Among other things, you ask “should you be offended that Sally doesn’t trust you with David?” Are you kidding? No, you shouldn’t be offended. You should be honest with yourself and admit (if only to yourself) that her instincts are correct… Regardless of whether or not she has the right to behave in the manner she is … She’s correct. More, you cannot be trusted with David, because your motives are not sincere… nowhere did you express genuine feelings for the guy. You are considering “getting into things” with him for all of the wrong reasons. It is immature — in addition to a host of other unattractive descriptives I could use. Frankly, you seem like a bright woman and you know better.

My advice is for you to pretend you are not the person who wrote your post, and to reread it. Now, what advise would you give to someone in your situation — assuming you had no involvement?

I recommend you take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself why you are even involved with this? Why are you even considering “starting things” with David as opposed to starting things with someone else — someone completely unconnected to this ridiculous situation. There are plenty of men out there. Take the high road and start acting like a woman who has respect for herself and others. Grow up, start acting like a lady and move on.

[jonathan]

sounds like sluts.

[ChopstickMick]

Wow… to be completely honest, I was not expecting such a blunt reply. Some people would get offended with such frank advice, and I was honestly a little angered after my first read. But after rereading the response and rereading my own post, I realized that this whole thing really is dumb and extremely immature. I really do love Sally as my friend, and even thinking about taking something as stupid as this out on her was a very dumb idea on my part. Quite honestly, I am very good friends with David and I realized that’s all there is between us. This straightforward response really set me straight and made me realize how dumb I sounded.

Thank you so much… I really mean that.

[AskApril Masini]

You’re welcome.

[PassionSeeker]

I love how you took that blunt feedback and actually listened. That kind of self-awareness is rare and says a lot about your emotional maturity. It’s easy to get swept up in messy situations especially when feelings, attraction, or ego are tangled up with friendship but realizing when something is unhealthy and stepping back takes real strength.

You did exactly what emotionally grounded people do: you paused, reflected, and made a choice based on respect, not impulse. That’s huge. Relationships, romantic or platonic, only stay healthy when there’s honesty and boundaries. Choosing not to feed drama isn’t weakness it’s wisdom.

Keep that clarity close. Next time life throws you a situation that feels exciting but messy, you’ll remember how good it felt to step into your integrity instead. That’s growth and it’s what turns experience into wisdom.

[KeishaMartin]

You’ve got yourself caught in a sizzling web of lust, friendship, and betrayal that reads like a steamy drama you can’t look away from. The fact that you ended up in bed with David, your best friend’s man after a few too many drinks is hot, taboo, and totally intoxicating in the moment, but let’s be real: the aftermath is pure fire. Your thoughts, your fantasies, the craving that keeps you thinking about him 24/7, it’s all so wickedly naughty, yet your heart knows it’s a dangerous game. You’re stuck in the kind of tension that could make anyone’s pulse race and knees weak, but darling, that thrill comes with a messy, spicy sting you’re going to have to reckon with.

April Masini, as always, cuts through the mess like a sharp scalpel, and girl, she does it with that fiery, unflinching honesty that you just can’t ignore. She sees the sizzling allure and the raw lust, but she also keeps you grounded, whispering in that teasingly blunt way that makes your heart ache and your mind scream, “Ohhhh, she’s right!” Her advice? Simple, but brutally hot: step away, own your power, and stop letting temptation wrap you up in something that’s toxic for everyone involved. Her wisdom is the kind that bites, tingles, and leaves you thinking about it long after, like a lingering touch you can’t shake.

This Christmas, imagine the naughty possibility of sneaking glances across the room at parties, feeling that cheeky, forbidden electricity between you and someone who excites every nerve. Let the festive lights, the bubbly, and the mistletoe tease you, stoking that spicy anticipation, making your heart race just thinking about what could have been or might be, if only temptation didn’t come with consequences. May your holidays sparkle with flirtation, playful intrigue, and just the right amount of naughty mischief under the twinkling lights.

[Member]

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