[kscouty70]

Reunited with woman I was dating for almost 5 years then split up for almost a year. Issues with wanting or better yet “expecting” me to be “all in” with her three children from another man who was a abusive, cheating, drug using piece of garbage. She got pregnant right out of High School at 18 years old to this High School drop out in 10th grade. Why this is important is to speak of the caliber of man she let into her life prior to meeting me. In the beginning she pursued me when I was in a long term relationship myself but admittedly we had our issues and were falling apart. And understanding that it takes two to tango so not blaming there. But in the beginning the ex I call “sperm donor” was only in our lives regarding one of the kid’s see sperm donor only really acknowledges one of his kid’s really it’s the youngest boy who plays sports (football, basketball) but his other kids are the oldest son (result of getting pregnant out of High School with drop out deadbeat at the age of 18) but oldest son is gay and really sperm donor has nothing really to do with him only with holidays and birthdays. The second oldest is a girl with deformity from complicated pregnancy and again onto sperm donor only acknowledges holidays, birthday but nothing to the extent of the youngest going to all sports activities and having over to his home to watch TV and games etc. And the irony is the daughter played soccer and he only could make time to see “some” of her games because too busy being unemployed since I’ve known him living with his mother and works apparently off the books at a bar. But could be at every game for the youngest son but not the daughter?? And no real contact with his gay son. And my stance from day one love them all equally as they are my own and do anything for any of them as they were my own. Was still intimidating in the beginning because first relationship with a person with children because I never had children myself in past relationships. But I tried and wanted to learn and wanted to make it work. But issues started to arise with were sperm donor was only around with football game and made my partners “skin crawl” being around him and couldn’t stand talking to him. But then all of a sudden it’s acceptable to have him sit with us at games and come to our home and yes part jealousy but honestly it’s more no respect for a man (can’t even call him a MAN) who beats a woman and cheats on a woman with his children and never purposed never married just beating, cheating, drug using and allowed the gift not just once but THREE TIMES!!! To get pregnant by this piece of garbage. And now I have to be civil and have him in my house and sit with us while at games??? Because it’s for the “children”??? I know thousands of divorced couples (yes actually married people not just out of marriage sperm deposits) but divorced couples that only involvement is with the children not partners. And conversations are not children related and that’s acceptable but my friendship with my ex isn’t?? That’s weird and not right but her relationship with him is?? Same goes with any issues or questions in day to day life living with a partner. Bills she has part time job and lets use example could have $1000 and have bills for $400 & $600 but not NEED but want clothes or jewelry and spend unneededly on things let’s say spend $600 of her income and then it’s my responsibility to short my bills because she wanted to spend and I’m not allowed to speak on that??? Because that’s my job as the ” man ” as she puts it?? I want a relationship not a dictatorship. This is the first part I’ll explain more later. But to start am I the wrong guy here??? Am I being unreasonable?? Is this the norm??

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I would love to answer this — but first, please cut, paste and post as a “reply” to the string of posts you started on this forum here: . That way we can all see your story in one place, and you’ll get much better advice from me, and anyone else here who wants to weigh in. I’ll look out for your re-post and answer you there as soon as it’s posted. 🙂

[Member]

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