My marriage has essentially been over since June of last year, and severely troubled for about a 1 year and a half before that. Since June we sort of went through the motions, I agreed to try fixing things for all the wrong reasons, simply because we’d been together for so long, not because I was still in love, because I wasn’t. I wanted to work it out more for him, I was indifferent. We are finally in the process of divorce and it should be final in a month or so.
I recently met someone that I’m really into. It’s a little crazy and it felt weird, the first time we held hands I felt warm, the first time we kissed I got dizzy… it felt amazing. I haven’t felt that… I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that. What’s crazier is that since we’ve met, we’ve only spent two nights apart. I feel like it’s moving really fast, it’s only been two weeks, yet it feels right. I can’t say I don’t know anyone who moved quickly in a new relationship where it didn’t work – my parents are a prime example and have been married for 25 years. This is what I’m telling myself because it feels to good to be true.
Long story short, I was still living with my ex, spending most of my time out of the house. I have been searching for a steady job (working freelance prior, not reliable enough to find my own place). The other day, my ex told me he needs my stuff out of the house so he can move on. Fair enough, but with no steady income, I had no place to go.
Being that I’ve spent all of my time with him since we met, the man I’m seeing said that I can stay here with him, since I have pretty much been already. It feels right to me. I realize it sounds crazy and I’ve been told it’s crazy. We’ve agreed it’s crazy but that we want to take the chance, that it’s worth the risk.
I’m telling myself I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I don’t. I just don’t want to deal with the crap I’m going to get from friends / family about moving so quickly. Despite my parents having done essentially the same thing, I know I’m going to hear about it. My brother has already asked me to fly out and visit him for a few weeks to “think things through without distractions.”
