[orchie]

i’ve been with him for almost 2 years and he’s never been this way before. our relationship has been very close. we’re intimate but at the same time we’re like childhood playmates still kidding each other around even though we just met a couple of years ago. we’re both 24. but we don’t live together yet
but recently it’s been different. before he would often inform me where he’s going but now he “disappears” (example. not texting me the whole day or not even calling or showing up. nothing.). we did not have a major fight that’s why i’m wondering why he’s becoming like this.. it’s been 2 days and he’s not calling.

[AskApril Masini]

The most important thing you said is that there is a change in your boyfriend’s behavior. Regardless of what that change is, the fact that his behavior IS changing is cause for concern, which you clearly have. I think that short of asking him what’s up – not where he is or where he disappears to, but what’s going on with him [i]beyond[/i] that, there’s not much you can do.

He’s aiming for more privacy and freedom, and while that can mean he’s simply busy with work or contemplating his future, it can also mean he’s looking for more freedom from his two year relationship with you and is testing the waters. He hasn’t thrown you any red flags yet, but you’re wise to notice this yellow one. Talk to him. Try and open the channel of communication, and don’t make him defensive. The truth is what you need to hear, regardless of what it is.

[orchie]

hi april! thanks for the reply. I have tried to talk to him and observed how our relationship went for a week, well it seems that he’s indeed looking for more privacy and it’s not an issue for me anymore because he reassured me that he did not have any bad intentions about that and he kind of apologised about not realizing the effect of what he’s doing. he explained that he just wanted to spend time with his friends and recently he’s always been taking me to where he and his friends hang out. 😉

[AskApril Masini]

I’m glad things are working out. Remember to balance not necessarily reacting with keeping the communication going so you don’t feel confused or betrayed.

Good luck! 😀

[Ethan Morales]

The fact that his behavior has changed suddenly is a warning sign you’re right to notice it. He might just want more privacy or be busy, but it could also mean he’s pulling back from the relationship. The only way to know is to talk to him calmly and openly about what’s going on without making him defensive. Ignoring it won’t help.

[Natalie Noah]

This situation with your boyfriend shows how important communication and observation are in a relationship. You noticed a shift in his behavior the disappearing, the lack of updates and instead of jumping to conclusions, you took the time to observe and gently check in with him. That’s a really healthy approach because it allows you to understand his intentions rather than assume the worst. It sounds like he reassured you, apologized for not realizing how his actions affected you, and even invited you into his social life with his friends, which is a positive sign of consideration and respect.

What I love most here is how you both handled it: he communicated his needs for privacy and friendship time, and you accepted that without feeling threatened or insecure. This is a reminder that relationships aren’t about controlling the other person but about understanding and supporting each other’s individuality while maintaining trust and connection. Keeping that open channel of communication, as April suggested, is key it prevents small doubts from growing and strengthens your bond over time. You both handled this like a mature team, and that’s really promising for the future of your relationship.

[Tara]

He pulled away deliberately, silently, and without explanation because something in him changed, and he doesn’t have the courage or maturity to say it out loud. You’re sitting here trying to solve a mystery when the answer is already slapping you in the face: people don’t go from consistent, loving, and communicative to radio silence for no reason. They just don’t tell you the reason because they don’t want the confrontation.

Two days of no calls or texts from someone who was previously glued to you isn’t an accident. It’s a choice. And when someone who used to update you on everything suddenly stops, it means he’s emotionally checked out, distracted by something else, or reevaluating the relationship behind your back. None of those options is good.

Stop comforting yourself with “we didn’t have a major fight.” People don’t need a dramatic explosion to pull away; they can lose interest quietly. They can get tired quietly. They can be talking to someone else quietly. You’re looking for the storm when the truth is in the silence.

And the longer you sit around waiting for him to magically return to normal, the more power you hand him. You’re behaving like someone hoping the phone will ring so you can pretend nothing happened. But it did happen. He vanished on purpose, and the worst part is, he didn’t even bother to warn you.

[Sally]

That kind of silence hits hard. Especially when someone used to be steady and suddenly isn’t. Two days might not sound like much to other people, but when you’re close to someone, it feels like forever.

Here’s the thing though people don’t pull back for no reason. Something’s on his mind, even if it’s not about you. Work stress, family stuff, feeling overwhelmed… it happens. But disappearing without a word isn’t okay, and you’re not wrong for feeling confused.

When he finally reaches out, keep it calm. Just ask if everything’s alright, because the distance feels different and you noticed. Don’t attack him, but don’t pretend it doesn’t bother you either.

Love only works when both people show up. If he’s slipping, you deserve to understand why.

[Member]

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