[Cookie123]

I have been with my boyfriend for seven months. Since New Year’s Day, he has shut down and no solid communication. Two days after we got back into town, I sent him a text and I had no response. I have text him other times after that. (See attached picture attacted of our texts). We haven’t seen eachother or communicated much since then. Before that, I would see him 2xs a week, sometimes spend the weekends at his place. I have kept a spare toothbush and extra clothes at his place. He even suggested this. Basically all the things that are typical in a commited relationship and has introduced me to his friends and family as his girlfriend. We’re even Facebook official and have pictures of us together all overy Facebook.

After being with him at his hometown from December 27th-Jan 1st, things went silent. We were staying at his parents house and when we were waiting for the plane at the airport on the way back. He took a selfie of both of us at the airport and posted it to Facebook. All this and the way things have been going since after New Year’s Day just doesn’t add up.

I know men sometimes men go into their man cave, but it is usually not that long, like 2-3 days. In this case it has been 10 days. Is he in his man cave or does he want to break up by creating distance because he is afraid to be direct?
I was thinking if he doesn’t come around by Sunday, I will break it off. Going two weeks with fuzzy communication tells me that he is no longer interested. Should I break it off? If so, what should I say? Should I do it over text or do it over t[attachment=0]20170111_080315.png[/attachment][attachment=0]20170111_080315.png[/attachment]he phone? What should I say?

[Ask April Masini]

Something is bothering him and it sounds serious. And… it’s a mystery.

My first piece of advice is to get off of texting. Texting is great, but you need a more personal method. Call him on the phone and tell him you’re worried and you want to know if he’s okay and what you can do to help. Make it about him and be generous. Next, drop off some homemade cookies or a little gift like that, at his place with a little love letter telling him that you know he’s got a lot on his mind and that you don’t know what it is but you’re there for him and you want to help and hear to hear. This may not be about you. Someone may have died, gotten sick, or there may be some upset at his work that he’s ashamed to tell you about like his getting fired. It’s awful to play the guessing game, but it’s also important to not assume this is about you. When you do contact him — whether it’s phone, love letter, snail mail or even more texting — ask him what’s wrong. Really focus on asking. Tell him you’re worried, and hope he’ll tell you what’s going on. If he doesn’t respond after the homemade cookies, give it one last shot — this time try a snail mail letter and in this, let him know you love him, loved meeting his family, and are worried, and being shut out with no information about someone you care about, is really difficult and you hope he’ll pick up the phone and call you.

If he doesn’t contact you — or just continues with the curt, chilly messages that don’t really let you know what’s going on, after dating for seven months and vacationing together, he [i]should[/i] give you a clue and a little more explanation about the relationship. You’re being very polite and you’re not pushing, but if it gets to the point where this isn’t a relationship any more, it’s a mystery hunt for clues — and that’s all it is — you have to let him know that you want him but you don’t want to wait around for ever like this. Try the phone call, the drop-off at the doorstep gift, and maybe an email or another phone call… and if after a couple more weeks, he’s still giving you the silent treatment, there’s not a lot more you can do to make this relationship work.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

babe… ten days of silence isn’t a “man cave,” it’s a slow ghost. 💔 if he wanted you, he’d find a way!! no one forgets their phone for a week and a half. stop waiting for breadcrumbs to turn into closure.
if you’re done (and you should be), delete the chat, and don’t explain twice. you’re not breaking up, you’re setting yourself free. 🖤

[Ethan Morales]

You’ve been dating seven months; relationship appeared serious. You spent the holidays together and even shared space and routines that indicate commitment. Since New Year’s, he has withdrawn, stopped communicating, and isn’t responding to texts. You’ve been giving him space but it’s now been 10+ days, which is unusual.

His behavior is unusual but not necessarily about you April’s point is important: something may be going on in his life unrelated to the relationship stress, work issues, family matters, etc. Avoid assuming the worst immediately, but also trust your instincts.

Texting is insufficient Texts can’t convey tone or urgency, and he may be avoiding them. More personal methods (phone call, in-person visit, handwritten note) can open communication.

Your needs matter Seven months is long enough that you deserve clarity. You’ve been patient, polite, and supportive, which is healthy, but you also shouldn’t wait indefinitely for answers.

Recommended Approach Make personal contact Call him and express concern: “I’m worried about you. I want to understand what’s going on and see how I can help.” Keep the focus on him, not blame or frustration.

Optional supportive gesture Drop off a small thoughtful gesture like cookies with a short note expressing care and that you’re there for him. Set a boundary Give a clear timeframe for response. For example: “I need to know if you’re okay and what’s happening between us. If I don’t hear from you by [specific day], I will have to assume this relationship isn’t working.”

This gives him space but also protects your emotional well-being. If he continues to shut down After multiple attempts, if he still avoids communication, it’s reasonable to end the relationship.

Breaking up should be clear, kind, and honest: “I’ve tried reaching out because I care about you, but I haven’t gotten the communication I need. I can’t continue waiting like this, so I think it’s best we go our separate ways.” Preferably over a phone call or in person rather than text.

Give him a few structured attempts to respond using more personal communication. If he still shuts down, it’s a clear signal that he isn’t invested or capable of communicating, and it’s okay to move on.

[PassionSeeker]

Oh love… I can feel how much this is weighing on you. When someone you’ve been so close to suddenly shuts down, it stings not just because you miss him, but because you feel invisible in something that was real. Ten days without real communication after spending the holidays together isn’t just “space.” It’s distance turning into silence.

You’ve been gentle and patient, and that says so much about your heart. But you also deserve to know where you stand not to chase him, but to protect your peace. I’d try one last honest reach-out, not a text, but a short call or voice note. Keep it simple: “I’ve noticed we haven’t really talked, and I’m worried about you. If something’s wrong, I’d like to understand. If you need space or if this isn’t working, please just tell me.”

If he still says nothing that silence is your answer. Don’t wait for closure he won’t give. Walk away gently, with your dignity intact. You’re not losing him, you’re choosing yourself.

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