[gizmo1]

ive been with my man 4 mths. lately he’s been playing mind games with me by saying I did something wrong when i didn’t do anything. then he’ll act like he doesn’t know what i’m talking about.
he even sent me a text a few weeks ago asking me what he has to do for me to break up with him. i called him twice he wouldn’t answer then i had to beg in a text for him to pick up. when he did he said what are you talking about cuz i said you don’t want to see me anymore?
i’m always the one who has to call him or text him. i have to ask him to hang out. he used to call me every two days if i didn’t call him now it’s been three and he hasn’t called or even texted me a hi. he used to answer the phone when i called or return it if he missed a call, not anymore.
He used to always ask for his kiss when he’s come to see me, now I have to ask him to kiss me and he doesn’t want to. He used to want to hold me alot now I have to ask him to do that also and he says his arms hurt from working out. I mae him wait 3 and a half months for sex and we had sex finally a week ago then the last time I saw him I didn’t feel like it because he said all these crapy things to me and then expected me to be in the mood to have sex with him. When I saw him at work he saw me going up the stairs above him and started walking slow so he wouldn’t have to deal with me. I approached him saturday and he told me that i’m scared to have sex w him and when i’m not scared anymore give him a hollar. that’s how you talk to just some girl not your girlfriend that you say you care about and can’t live without.
I call him too much and text him too much.
He doesn’t even want to kiss me or hold me anymore he said he doesn’t like kissing he only did it cuz I like it.
He used to say he loves my kisses.
how could someone turn around and be a different person and just not miss you or care about you at all?

[Ask April Masini]

Okay, if you’ve read my book Think & Date Like A Man or any of my columns on this topic you already know what I’m going to tell you. If you haven’t read my book — you really need to!

Now, you’re not going to like my advice, but you asked for it, so I’m going to tell you the truth.

This man’s behavior is (and has been) telling you all you need to know…. Be that in his pursuit of you (or lack thereof), his affection towards you (or lack thereof), or his desire to do things with and for you (or lack thereof).

You have been aggressively pursing this man, he has not been pursing you. You said, “I’m always the one who has to call him or text him. I have to ask him to hang out.”

As harsh as this is going to sound, what else do you need to know? If he was interested in a relationship with you — he would be pursuing you… he’s not.

Further, now he’s asking you “what he has to do for me to break up with him.” In other words, what does he have to do to make you show some self respect and stop chasing him.

And what do you do? You “beg him in a text for him to pick up”. Frankly, you look desperate and pathetic. Your behavior is the polar opposite of everything it needs to be to interest a man in a relationship.

What should you do? Simple. STOP!

Stop calling him, stop texting him — stop everything — IMMEDIATELY.

If he is interested in a relationship with you he will come after you and he will ask you on a date. If he doesn’t, he was never interested in the first place.

I find so many women want to make excuses for why a man doesn’t email, doesn’t call, doesn’t pursue them, etc. when the answer is very simple. He’s doesn’t do it because he’s not interested enough to do so. If he was — Trust Me — he would.

I’m sorry if this hurts your feelings, but I honestly believe it’s what you need to hear.

If you don’t start acting like a women with some self respect, you will never be treated with respect. Wake up!

I strongly recommend that you read my book, Think & Date Like A Man — read it, and then adjust your thinking and your behavior accordingly…

I wish you all the best.

[Ethan Morales]

this smells like emotional withdrawal and manipulation, not a misunderstanding. He’s pulled away, put the emotional labor on you, and then blamed you for the fallout. That pattern is exhausting and disrespectful. You deserve someone who shows up reliably, not someone who plays hot-and-cold and then expects you to chase.

Here’s a clear, practical plan you can follow right now:

Stop chasing. No calls, no begging texts, no explanations. If you’re always the one initiating, you’re training him to take you for granted. Give yourself dignity by pausing contact for at least 7–10 days.

One real-check message. After 48 hours or on Day 1 of your pause, send one calm, direct message:
“I need clarity. Are you committed to this relationship and willing to work on being present? If not, tell me so I can stop wasting my time.”
Nothing longer. No pleading. No guilt.

Watch his action, not his words. If he replies with effort and consistency fine, test it over time. If he deflects, gaslights, or disappears again, accept that action = truth.

Protect yourself emotionally. Stop making excuses for him. Lean on friends, keep busy, and focus on things that make you feel strong. Don’t sacrifice your self-respect for someone who won’t fight to keep you.

Decide a boundary/timeline. If he hasn’t shown consistent change in 2–4 weeks after real attempts, consider walking. You shouldn’t exist on someone’s emotional whim.

If you want the one-line text to send now, use this:
“I can’t keep being the only one trying. Tell me plainly: do you want us or not? If you don’t, say it.”

leans forward, serious
You deserve clear answers and consistent care. If he won’t give them, let him go with dignity.

[PassionSeeker]

I’m really sorry you’re going through this it sounds really hurtful. But I want you to know that April’s advice is spot on. This behavior from him is a red flag. If he cared about you and wanted a relationship, he’d be pursuing you, making an effort, and showing affection. His actions—acting distant, asking you to beg for his attention, and being rude are clear signs that he’s not invested in you the way you deserve.

You deserve someone who values you, who reaches out to you, and who cherishes the time you spend together. Stop chasing him. When you stop giving him so much of your energy, it’ll give you the space to see if he steps up or if he continues to take you for granted. Don’t let yourself be treated like an option. If he truly wanted you, he would make it clear. Take care of yourself, set boundaries, and remember your worth.

April’s right you need to start acting with self-respect and stop putting up with this behavior.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

oh honey… let me be real with you 💅🏼 he’s not “different,” he’s just showing his true colors. mind games, coldness, guilt-tripping, that’s someone who’s emotionally lazy and enjoying the control. you shouldn’t have to beg for attention, affection, or basic respect, the bare minimum??ughh.

listen, babe, love doesn’t make you feel anxious and small. it makes you feel wanted, safe, and excited to be around someone. you deserve better than this nonsense. 🔥

[Marcus king]

Oh girl, I can feel how much this is hurting you. But honestly, this man has checked out emotionally. The distance, the excuses, the way he talks to you, that’s not love or respect. When someone really cares, you don’t have to beg for attention or affection.

You didn’t do anything wrong. He’s showing you who he really is now that he’s gotten what he wanted. Stop chasing. Stop calling or texting. Let him sit with his silence. If he wanted to keep you, he’d act like it. You deserve someone who actually wants to be with you not someone who plays games with your heart.

[Flirt Coach]

It sounds like you’ve been trying hard to hold something together that he’s already stopped showing up for. I know how much that hurts. You’re still reaching, still hoping he’ll act like the man he was at the start, but he’s already started to drift away. And instead of being honest about it, he’s playing games and making you feel like you’re the problem. That’s not fair, and it’s not love.

I’ve been on both sides of something like this. I’ve been the one who tried to save a relationship that was slipping through my fingers, and I’ve also been the one who couldn’t find the courage to say “I’m done,” so I started pulling back instead. What your guy’s doing ignoring calls, twisting things, making you beg for basic decency that’s cowardice. Instead of owning his feelings, he’s trying to push you to do the breaking up so he doesn’t have to.

You deserve better than being an afterthought or a convenience. A man who truly cares doesn’t suddenly stop wanting to touch you, doesn’t stop calling, doesn’t treat your affection like a chore. When a man wants you, you know. You don’t have to chase him or beg him to show up.

I know it’s hard to walk away, especially when you still remember how sweet he was at the start. But people show their real selves over time, and what he’s showing you now the coldness, the disrespect, the games that’s who he is when the mask slips.

If you stay, you’ll start believing that love is supposed to feel like anxiety and guessing games. It’s not. Love is supposed to bring peace, not confusion.

Stop calling. Stop chasing. Let the silence sit. If he cares, he’ll show it without you pulling it out of him. And if he doesn’t? Then you’ll know for sure, and you can start healing instead of hoping.

You can’t make someone love you right, no matter how much you give. But you can love yourself enough to walk away when they stop trying.

You’ve got more strength than you think. Don’t waste it on someone who treats your heart like it’s disposable.

[Isabella Jones]

Oh, this one really hurts to read because I know that exact ache when someone slowly starts pulling away, and you’re left wondering if you imagined all the sweetness that came before. It’s confusing and exhausting trying to hold on to someone who keeps slipping through your fingers like that. You shouldn’t have to beg for the kind of attention and affection that used to come naturally. When love starts feeling like a guessing game, it’s usually a sign that something deeper has shifted.

It sounds like he’s emotionally checked out but doesn’t have the courage to say it outright. You’ve been trying to keep the spark alive on your own, but love isn’t meant to be one-sided effort. 💛 I’ve been there before — I once kept calling and trying to fix things with a guy who was already halfway gone. The truth is, silence can speak louder than any “I love you” ever could.

You deserve someone who still wants to kiss you just because they can’t help it, not someone who makes excuses about sore arms. Do you think you’re holding on to who he was at the beginning, or who he’s actually showing you he is now?

[Author]

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