[Pretty]

Dear april.
U dont believe me true its cause im confused and unable to decide and you can see through it. Dear u being my advisor i wanna tell u that I didnot show up or call while he was at work I texted him over facebook messenger. And if he was so busy he shouldnt have read it going to his facebook account. He basically accused me for sending him the text. The text wrote “I Love U and the things that has been happening is hurting me. Please come down once so we can all sit and talk and solve our problems.”
Later in the evening that day his dad calls with him in conference to my dad to say I am disturbing him.
Facebook texts are meant to be read when people are free not busy hence I said I know he made fake complaint.
Yes recently i thought of meeting him where he lives in a quarter provided by his office. But I would talk at his house not his office. Its mines area so people get quarters to live nearby the mines.
Yes I made a wrong choice. His needs and mine do not match. I agree but he lied to me all the while. He hid about his having varicocele and being incapable I found out in a very very old prescription while dusting the cupboard. When a person has any sickness they go to doctor he refuses to accept he has any problem. I had cleared to him of who I am and how I want to live that I also wanna do a job. He himself assured me he is different and we both think alike and have same perspective towards life. Now it has changed. Regarding me my fault is that I got sick with TB and also I told him to go to a doctor. A partner is supposed to stand with you in health and sickness. How do I know he wont leave me if I go fat or have wrinkles someday or if I catch some disease again. I’m scared April. I’m scared that what if I made compromises and its a waste. I’m in a state I do not know what to do. Heart and mind are at war. I have feelings for him I cant deny. And using abusive language is his habit I had tried to correct it but he keeps using this kind of language and it hurts to hear such words for myself or my parents.
I’m not playing victim but iv suffered 8whole months stress levels gone high not being able to sleep. I want him but this version of him I want to change him back. I want the guy whom I had loved. I’m confused and broken. And I’m not ready maybe to sacrifice my job and parents and my life to be scared when next he would leave me. I’m scared April.

[Pretty]

I want all well but I’m scared. Please tell me how to get him to change and be understanding. Give some steps to follow when ill be with him.

[Pretty]

I want to talk to him to know why he is behaving this way. I want to ask him to tell me if iv been wrong somewhere or hurt him. But he doesn’t wanna talk. Shall I go to him myself and talk or would it be negative to do so.

[AskApril Masini]

Your job is to change yourself, not him. You refuse to take that advice, and that’s why you’re stuck. 🙁

I’ve given you plenty of advice here that you’ve rejected. I’m sorry. I can’t help you any more because it doesn’t appear that you want to do the work required to make any changes.

I wish you good luck.

[caseyghatchell]

Hello Pretty, the problem you’re facing is almost similar to me. The only difference is my husband is supporting me all time, since his parents dumped us from their house. We are now living separately and things are good now. For you I’m feeling sorry, because this type of situation is very sad. And it hurts a lot. Don’t worry, be strong, and you tried your best.

If you husband is ignoring you, don’t lose hope. Get rid of him, find a job because busy, it’ll help you become stable in life. One day he’ll return to you, if your husband truly loves you.

[AskApril Masini]

That’s really good advice. Thank you for that!

[Ethan Morales]

Alright, I read everything you wrote. I’m going to be blunt and practical, because you’re in a situation that’s emotionally loaded and has real risks attached to it. You’ve been patient, loyal, and hopeful, but his behaviour and his family’s behaviour are now controlling major parts of your life: your health, your dignity, your money, and your ability to make decisions. That can’t be fixed with more pleading. It needs clear boundaries and a plan.

Immediate safety & health first. If you still have any medical issues (TB treatment, etc.), finish that and keep medical records. Your health is non-negotiable. If he’s ever physically violent or you fear escalation, get to a safe place and involve family or authorities right away. Document any abusive calls, texts, or incidents (dates, screenshots, witnesses).

Sexual/medical reality check. Varicocele can affect fertility and libido, but it doesn’t explain hiding, avoidance, or financial control. The correct step is a medical evaluation (urologist/sexologist). If he refuses to see a doctor, that refusal is itself telling. You can’t fix his body or his fears if he won’t cooperate. Don’t let the medical issue be used as an excuse to avoid responsibility.

Finances & independence protect yourself now. Open a bank account in your name if you don’t have one. Keep copies of any documents you signed. If money is being sent to his parents and you have no access to household funds, that’s a huge red flag. Start planning for economic independence: look for work, ask family for short-term support, and conserve any savings you have.

Boundaries and a clear timeline. You’ve asked and begged, and nothing has changed. Now you need to switch from emotional negotiating to clear terms. Example: request a face-to-face meeting (with a neutral third party if needed) and say you expect three concrete things in X weeks (e.g., a medical appointment booked within 2 weeks, couples/sex counselling scheduled within 4 weeks, and a clear plan about living arrangements/finances). If he won’t commit, you must prepare to leave. Put this in writing or say it calmly in person: “I love you, but I cannot stay in a marriage where I am treated like I don’t exist. If these steps aren’t taken by [specific date], I will return to my parents and pursue legal options to protect myself.”

Get support (legal + emotional). Talk to a lawyer or a legal aid organisation (marriage/family laws vary by country). Learn your rights around separation, custody, and finances. Even a consultation will show you the options and give you confidence. See a counsellor or therapist for yourself to process the emotional trauma, build coping tools, and get help planning the next steps.

Don’t try to “win over” his parents. You’ve been trying to make peace, and it’s not working. Their insults and manipulation are not your responsibility to fix. Stop engaging them directly. Let your husband be the one to advocate and if he won’t, that’s his choice.

If you choose to stay (only if things change fast): Make sure the changes are documented and ongoing (appointments kept, counselling attended, money handled transparently). Promise in words isn’t enough; patterns are what matter. Insist on joint sessions with a professional who can mediate and hold him accountable.

If you choose to leave (very reasonable): Plan logistics: where you’ll go, how to get there, what documents you need (IDs, medical records, bank info). Tell a trusted friend or family member your plan and timeline. Consider a legal separation or divorce if reconciliation isn’t possible.

[PassionSeeker]

Pretty, my heart aches reading your story. You’ve fought, begged, adjusted, and carried this marriage on your shoulders alone. But what I see isn’t love being returned it’s you bleeding yourself dry for someone who doesn’t even reach out his hand. You keep hoping that if you change enough, if you become quiet enough, patient enough, compliant enough he’ll finally see you. But the truth is, someone who chooses to humiliate, neglect, and abandon you while you’re sick isn’t confused he’s showing you exactly who he is.

You can’t make him see a doctor, love you properly, or stand by you. What you can do is decide that your life is worth more than waiting for him to change. You’ve already shown immense strength fighting illness, educating yourself, still believing in love. Now it’s time to use that strength for you.

Stop chasing what keeps hurting you. Healing isn’t found by fixing him; it starts when you choose yourself. That’s where your real power begins.

[Marcus king]

This man didn’t change after marriage he just finally showed you who he really is.

He lied.

He hid medical issues.

He withheld intimacy.

He controlled the money.

He insulted you and your family.

He sided with his parents and let them humiliate you.

He left you sick, alone, and begging.

That’s not a husband.
That’s not love.
That’s emotional abandonment and abuse.

The problem is not varicocele.
The problem is character.

A man who leaves his wife at a train station, refuses to come when she’s sick, tells her to “behave like a girl,” and only “wishes on religious days” that’s a man who never intended to build a marriage, only a hierarchy where you are small and silent.

Your parents are trying to resolve this respectfully. His parents are avoiding accountability because they know their son can’t show up as a man.

[Tara]

Alright, let’s stop pretending there’s anything left to “get back.” You didn’t marry a partner. You married a coward hiding behind his parents and excuses.
He’s not sick with guilt. He’s just spineless. He’s let his parents humiliate you, insult your family, and control every move he makes and he’s still choosing them. You begged, pleaded, cried, got sick, and he still didn’t show up. That’s not love. That’s abandonment.

The “no desire” problem isn’t medical at this point. It’s emotional and moral rot. He doesn’t respect you, doesn’t trust you, and doesn’t care enough to try. He’s turned your marriage into a humiliation ritual while his parents pull the strings.

You need to stop fighting for someone who’s already surrendered. File for separation. Protect yourself legally and financially. Let your parents handle the logistics, not the emotions. You can’t rebuild a marriage that only one person is standing in.

[Sally]

I’m not judging you at all, but it sounds like you’ve been the only one trying to hold this marriage together while he keeps pulling away, hiding, or running to his parents every time things get real. No marriage can survive like that. It can’t just be you trying.

And the way he left you when you were sick… that’s not love. That’s someone who isn’t choosing you at all.

I know you want your husband back, but the man you want isn’t the man he’s showing you right now. He’s made it pretty clear where his loyalty is, and it’s not with you.

If this were me, I’d stop chasing. Let your parents support you. Let the silence tell you what you’ve been trying not to see. Sometimes the hardest part isn’t losing someone it’s admitting they were never really with you in the first place.

[Natalie Noah]

Oh, sweetheart… reading your story, my heart really aches for you. You’ve clearly poured your heart, your energy, and your very identity into this relationship, believing deeply in the love you had for this man. You’ve tried to navigate impossible dynamics a partner who won’t trust you, a family that undermines your own, health struggles, and a complete lack of emotional and physical support from the man you married. That’s an enormous weight for anyone to carry, and the frustration, pain, and confusion you’re feeling are completely understandable. Your desire to make things work, to save your marriage, and to help him seek medical treatment shows just how deeply you care but love cannot thrive in a place where respect, mutual trust, and communication are absent.

From everything you’ve shared, there’s a pattern here that’s very concerning. Your husband’s behavior avoiding you, not respecting your family, refusing medical help, and showing little interest in intimacy is consistent and long-term. It’s not just a temporary phase; it’s a reflection of his priorities and choices. You can hope, plead, and try to persuade him, but ultimately, he is an adult with agency over his decisions. No legal provision exists to force someone into counseling or medical care, and attempting to coerce him may backfire, deepening the divide. The reality is that change in a marriage can only happen if both partners are willing participants, and right now, he isn’t showing that willingness.

It’s also clear that your expectations of compromise have largely been met by you alone, while he has made very few concessions. Marriage is a partnership both people should bend, accommodate, and protect the union together. You’ve already made countless sacrifices, emotionally, socially, and financially, yet you remain frustrated and unsupported. That imbalance is unsustainable and explains why your parents, friends, and even professionals are concerned. Love without respect and reciprocity becomes exhausting, and no one deserves to live like that indefinitely.

I sense that part of you is trapped between hope and reality. You love him and want the relationship to work, but you’re also acutely aware that his behavior may never change. The hardest truth is that sometimes, loving someone means stepping back for your own well-being. Continuing to chase someone who consistently refuses to meet your needs will erode your health, confidence, and happiness. This is not about giving up on love; it’s about giving yourself a chance at a life where your feelings, needs, and efforts are valued and reciprocated.

What you can control is your own response and choices. You can choose to create boundaries protect your mental, emotional, and physical health rather than continuing to bend to a man who doesn’t honor you. You can focus on healing yourself, your career, your passions, and your independence. You can also evaluate whether staying married to someone who refuses basic support, trust, and care is truly in your best interest. True change requires both people, and right now, the evidence shows that your husband is not ready or willing to be that partner.

Finally, my dear, it’s okay to feel grief, disappointment, and loss. You’ve invested deeply, and acknowledging that this may not work doesn’t erase your love or your efforts. Sometimes, the bravest act of love is to step back, to give yourself space to heal, and to make choices that honor your worth. You deserve a marriage where your health, happiness, and needs matter equally, and where your partner is actively invested in building that life with you. You have the strength to pivot, even when it feels impossible, and to create a future where love is nurturing, not painful.

[KeishaMartin]

You’ve been caught in a whirlwind of promises, lies, parental interference, and “I’ll love you but not really” vibes. Honestly, Pretty, the energy you’re pouring into him is hotter than a full-on summer in Rajasthan, but all that heat is bouncing off a brick wall because he’s clearly checked out emotionally, sexually, and spiritually. You’ve been bending, twisting, and trying to charm him into being the man he once pretended to be, and bless your soul, you’ve given it your all. But you can’t reignite someone’s spark if they don’t even want to light the match themselves.

April Masini !!! That woman is like a master chef of heartbreak, sprinkling tough love and reality checks with the perfect pinch of wisdom. She’s calling it straight, and yes, it stings like hot chili oil on an open wound, but she’s got that crystal-clear lens on relationships that’s almost scary accurate. You keep chasing him, texting him, scheming for meetings and counseling, and April’s like, “wake up!” She’s basically giving you a sexy roadmap to your own independence, and trust me, there’s nothing more irresistible than a woman who owns her fire instead of chasing someone else’s damp wick.

I feel that confusion in your words, the heartbreak, the desire, the fear, all tangled up in one steamy, chaotic mess. You still want him, still crave that love, still dream about fixing what’s broken, but darling, the chemistry of love doesn’t just work on willpower. You’ve tried every trick in the book dressing up, teasing, negotiating, crying, begging and what do you get? Zero. His parents manipulating, his excuses piling up, and the intimacy missing like a ghost at a party. This isn’t just a marital spat; it’s a full-blown soap opera with too much drama and way too little satisfaction.

Take a deep breath, own your power, and stop trying to bake a cake in someone else’s kitchen. Focus on your health, your mind, your career, and your fire. Let him stew in his mess while you rise, sparkle, and sizzle on your own. And as we’re about to hit Happy New Year, 2026, let the champagne flow, the parties rage, and may your resolutions be hotter than ever. Here’s to a year of unapologetic passion, self-love, and maybe, just maybe, finding a man who matches your heat instead of running from it. Happy New Year, 2026, Let’s make it spicy!

Happy New Year, 2026.

[Member]

Posts