[mobile23]

hi anyone got any advice for me please!! ive been with my partner 4 years off and on, we got engaged this time last year we booked our wedding and then split up in june, he cancelled the wedding and said we argue to much, he kept in contact and then i found out he had a new woman although he didnt tell me till i found out, he went to cornwall with her and whilst he was there sent me flowers and told me he had make a huge mistake and wanted me back, i had him back and it lasted 2 weeks then we split again, he was the 1 who wanted to split. he yet again keeps ringing and texting me, he came round thursday and we did sleep together and had a nice day then i went to work and he went. thurs night he came round drunk and fell to sleep. i got his mobile and had a look to see he has a new girlfriend again, i told him to get out my house which he did, the following 3 days i ignored all his calls and texts he said he was sorry he loves me wants to get married etc but i didnt reply, i know he is still with the new girlfriend still. i went to his shop to see him yesterday to collect something that belongs to me and we went for a coffee, he said hes sorry etc and that he loves me and hes not in love with his new girlfiend and shes more like a friend, he didnt talk about us getting bk together tho. last night i went to see him and we slept together, i know i shouldnt of done this but its so hard as i do love him. today i text him to get on with his life with his new woman and that i will leave them to it, now hes sending insulting text messages and keeps ringing but im not replying or answering. i just dont understand what he wants. hes not a child we are both 34

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re blaming [i]him[/i] instead of taking responsibility [i]yourself[/i]. 😳 He’s being crystal clear in his behavior — he wants you on and off and he wants other women, too. If he took out a neon sign that said just that, it wouldn’t be any clearer than the behavior he’s showing you. You’ve been on and off for him for four years now, and the patterns that you’re repeating with him recently are all very, very easy to read.

The problem is that YOU keep making your life a mess. Sorry if that’s hard to hear, but I know you want to clean it up, so it’s good to identify the source of the problem! 😉 Apparently, this isn’t what you want, but you don’t change anything. If you want your life not to be a mess, then decide what you want and go for it. If what you want is a monogamous relationship, then you have to focus on having one. If it’s more of a mess, then keep doing what you’re doing. 😕

[b]You[/b] get to change your life to make it what you want it to be. 😉

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[mobile23]

hi thankyou and i know what you say is right its just so hard to pull away and forget him, it kills me knowing hes with another woman

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I know it hurts, but use that information that he’s with another woman TO move on — not hold you back. If you know he’s with someone else, why would you want to be with him? Answer: You wouldn’t. If you met a man tomorrow who said, I’m dating this other woman I really like, but do you want to date me, too, and I’m never going to give her up or be monogamous for you….. you wouldn’t say yes. 😕 You want a man who wants you and only you and who’s committed and delighted to be with you — and vice versa. Keep your eye on the ball, look to the horizon and go where the doors are open (how’s that for a trifecta of metaphors!!).

If you keep gravitating towards messy situations, you’re going to become part of that mess. Make a decision today that you want a different life for yourself and commit to it with your intentions and your behavior. 😉

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[mobile23]

i know your right its just that he still texts me and phones so it makes it harder to let go 😈

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Here’s a trick that will help: Block his number and his e-mail from your phone and computer. If you need that kind of help to get over the hump, then use it.

[mobile23]

i have changed my number now, he send me a message on facebook last night saying im too old to be wearing the white dress in my profile pic!!! he isnt a friend of mine on there he just sent me a message! i tried adding you on facebook April, its emma morris , on facebook i mean

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Contact Facebook and write them that you don’t want him contacting you. There are ways to block people. This isn’t going to be an easy process. But you can do it!

If you “friend” me on Facebook I’ll definitely accept your request. 😀

[mobile23]

he has now started sending me messages saying hes so upset and crying!!!! trouble is hes still with his new woman tho!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you didn’t take my advice and block him….. 😳

Letting go is your choice. You either do it or you don’t. But if you don’t, you can’t complain about him! 😉

[Member]

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