[Trevor]

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for two years, and I love her deeply, but I’m getting increasingly frustrated that she still lives at home with her parents. She’s in her late twenties, has a stable job, but shows no initiative to move out or gain independence. Her parents cater to her every need, and she seems perfectly content with their arranged life. This situation is making our relationship feel perpetually stuck in a teenage phase.

I’m ready for us to build an adult life together—to have our own space, make our own rules, and experience true independence as a couple. I’ve tried to gently encourage her to look at apartments, but she just says it’s too expensive or that she’s “comfortable.” I fear that if we don’t take this step, we’ll never truly progress as a couple, and I’m growing tired of always feeling like I’m dating someone’s daughter instead of an independent woman.

[Ethan Morales]

This is a really valid frustration and one that’s more about values and growth than just living arrangements. What you’re describing isn’t only about her still being at home; it’s about what that symbolizes in your relationship. Independence isn’t just physical, it’s emotional and psychological too. And it sounds like you’re craving a partnership built on shared responsibility, adult decision-making, and a sense of forward motion.
Your girlfriend’s comfort with her current setup suggests she doesn’t yet feel the same urgency to evolve. Maybe she grew up in an environment where dependence was normal or even encouraged so to her, staying home doesn’t signal immaturity. But to you, it feels like she’s choosing comfort over growth, and that mismatch can quietly erode attraction and respect over time.
You’ve already tried being gentle, which shows emotional maturity. At this point, you might need a more honest, values-based conversation. Not “you need to move out,” but rather, “I want us to build a life together, and I’m struggling because it feels like we’re stuck. How do you see our future taking shape?” That shifts the focus from criticizing her situation to exploring your shared goals.
Ultimately, love alone won’t fix a difference in life readiness. If she’s not ready to step into independence, you’ll have to decide whether you can accept her pace or if staying will leave you feeling perpetually unfulfilled.
Tell me, has she ever talked seriously about what her long-term vision for the relationship is marriage, moving out, building a home together or does she tend to avoid those conversations?

[Ask April Masini]

If you want to build an adult life together, have your own space, make your own rules, and experience true independence as a couple, propose to her and marry her.

Right now, you are in no position to ask her to move out of her parents home.

[Heart Whisperer]

I can see why this situation would feel frustrating for you. Independence is such a big part of building a mature relationship, and it’s hard when one person seems content staying in their comfort zone. I think your feelings are valid — it’s not about judging her situation, but about wanting a partnership that feels equal and grown.

Maybe try having a calm and honest talk with her about how this affects you emotionally rather than focusing only on the moving out part. Sometimes people stay in that dynamic out of fear or habit, not laziness. You could talk about what independence means to you, like sharing responsibilities, creating your own traditions, and making choices together. That might help her see it less as leaving her parents and more as taking the next step with you.

Be patient but clear about your needs. A healthy relationship should help both people grow, and if she truly cares about the future with you, she’ll find a way to meet you halfway.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

okay but hold up, not everyone’s rushing to pack up and play house, babe. 🙃 she’s stable, she’s comfortable, and maybe she’s smart enough not to trade that security just to prove she’s “independent”. 💅 if you really want to build a life with her, giver her a good reason to leave that comfort behind first.

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