[Anonymous]

I am having a hard time getting over this guy and I do not know why. I am a senior in college and had this guy in my class who is in the band. So for the first semester, went to football games. On the weekends when there was nothing we went to dinner i drove because he had no car and so he would have a drink when i could not. So i had friends drive us to go to bars after dinner. So we went to a dance and i had our picture taken and i bought it and sent it to him. I never heard anything from him about it and i sent all my notes in the class we were in to him. He sent such mix signals, because he would hold my hand and put his arm around me but i kept getting the feelings that i was just a date. So when the semester ended i barely heard only three to four or five times over break. None of my family did not like him, and my friends thought he was selfish. Because all we really talked about was sports and had not a lot in common. So the new semester started and he asked me to this end of the year dance so i told him what bugged me about last semester. He said he was sorry and that i should of told him. So i told him i was not going to the dance and we started over. He was being really nice and the only time we hold hands is if we go out, but like we would meet on campus and he would not hold it. So i changed my mind because he asked again about the dance because it got reschedule to a latter date, and he said it was important and i said ok. So then one night i was sitting in his dorm and he asked me to have sex. with him. I said maybe another time. I feel as though i have lost my chance. I wrote him saying i can not go to the dance and he called me unstable. Well that was three weeks ago and i wrote him a couple of times. He texted a lot of times we were on the date. Why can’t i get over him, he was my first bf, but why can’t i get over him? Was he into me? Need advice!! Thank you!!!

[Dani]

What is the easiest way to get over someone and stop thinking about him! Advice much appreciated!!! Story above!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Men want to be the ones to chase women, and when you start doing anything that resembles chasing, not only do you take the opportunity away from them, you put yourself in a position to be confused because he isn’t chasing you so you don’t know if he likes you! 😮

I can’t tell from your post if he ever asked you out during first semester. You said he as in the band, but you didn’t mention if he invited you to go to the football games or if you were just showing up without his invitation. I also can’t tell if he asked you to go to dinner on dates or if you asked him. I also can’t tell from your post if he invited you to the dance where you had your picture taken together, or not. When he didn’t thank you for the photo, that was a sign that he wasn’t that interested. If a guy really likes you and you send him a photo of the two of you, he’ll gush over it!

It sounds like he needed a date for the second semester dance, and he asked you, but instead of accepting, you told him everything he’d done wrong and said no. 😕 When he asked you a second time, you said yes, but when he asked you to have sex with him, you shot him down. Now you’ve told him no, again, that you won’t go to the dance. Can you see why he felt you were unstable? From his point of view, you were all over the place — chasing him, shooting him down, saying yes, and then no to sex (“Maybe later,” isn’t a ringing endorsement that you think he’s attractive. 😳 ).

If you really like a man, there are things you should do to let him know and give the relationship a chance to move in a forward direction. You should read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], for the entire low down. Seriously! 😉 If you really want him, be alluring and give him something to chase after. When he finally gives you an opportunity to accept a date, make him want that second date so badly he could burst! And if you’re not ready for sex, don’t insult him by telling him, maybe later. Put yourself in his shoes. He put himself out there to ask you about sex, and you shot him down in one of his most vulnerable moves. 😳

I hope you’ll read Think & Date Like A Man, and let me know how your life improves from reading it!

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

[Dani]

Hey Thanks!!

He asked me out. i ALWAYS let him ask me. I tried to be very alluring and not chase him. The dance was his function for his band thing, and in my opinion i thought he should of bought the pic but i bought because i wanted to show my friends and family. Yes and in the second semester i had mixed feelings about him and kept getting the feeling that he wanted me just for a date but could not name it. And the date he asked me to have sex, he texted all through dinner and when he asked for sex he said not to pressure you just thought of it to pass time. That was when i was a little shocked. i wanted to go the dance, not sure for him, but because they are fun. He is not talking to me and ignoring me and i am letting him do that. I really need to move on and just having a hard time too.

When we went out to bars, we mostly just watch tv, and all he was interested in was sports. I tried to talk about everything but he was never interested in anything. Also my friends said he was really self centered and he was little bit but never held that against him. But seemed like it was all about him.

i just do not know i feel this way.

Sorry was not clear on some stuff!! Thank you again!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Thank you for clarifying — your second post really paints a different picture than your first one. If he really said he wanted to have sex with you to “pass the time” 😯 I can tell you you deserve [i]a lot[/i] better.

Based on your second post there are a lot of reasons for you to get over him and move on. Any guy who texts all through dinner and then on the first night he makes a move to sleep with you suggests it’s basically a time killer, is not worth your time.

Don’t look back — move on. You should try and find a guy that you’re excited about seeing and who makes you feel good about yourself. It sounds like you were both settling for second (third? fourth? fifth? seventy-eighth??) best.

I hope that helps!

Let me know how it goes, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Dani]

Thank you so much!! Your advice really helped and thank you for listening!! I am really glad that i found your site and going to look at your book! Thank you again!!!!!! 🙂

I am going to recommend you to all my friends who need advice!!!

[Dani]

I will also let you know how everything goes and going to read all your website to be better at knowing how to date!! Thank you 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re welcome! I’m glad I could help — and I saw on Facebook that you joined me there, too. Thanks! If you want, you can also follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter. 😀

[Member]

Posts