[sfmc12]

Hi April, I know your work and often read your advice on these relationship forums. I would like to ask for advice myself. I’m 24 and she’s around the same age. There’s this bar I go to 3 times a week. She is a server that works there and has caught my eye. I find her attractive because she has qualities that I don’t have. It’s like a puzzle. I have missing pieces and she has them. We both glance at each other a lot. When we make eye contact I really feel like we’re having a moment. I assume she knows I like her. Now the problem is she works at a bar. I assume she gets asked out, flirted with, hit on all the time, guys always talk to her. I don’t want to do that, I want to be different. I feel if I’m different I’ll be more attractive compared to the other guys. In the past I’ve had no problem asking a woman out and being direct with her. But this is the first time I’ve liked a woman that works at a bar so I don’t know how to approach this. I’ve read forums where women like a man and you tell them to flirt with him to let him know you like him so he has confidence to ask you out. I cant assume she will ever talk/flirt to me. This has been going on for about 5 months and I’ve only had her as a server once. So I haven’t had opportunities to talk to her myself. So if I do I’ll have to go all out of my way and I know women don’t like men that try too hard. If I do I’m afraid she’ll feel I hesitated and may be turned off by that. Your expertise is appreciated and I thank you for your time.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re paralyzed by fear of rejection. If you go to this bar three times a week, and have been going for five months, that’s about 60 opportunities to talk to her, missed. 😳 I suggest you buy and read [b]Date Out of Your League[/b], a book I wrote for men who want to win with women. Here’s the link: [url]https://askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. It has a lot of information about how to overcome fear and get going. 😉 My advice is that you be a little more proactive and approach her or make sure you’re seated in an area where she’s serving you or where you can talk to her. Once you establish a rapport with her, you can ask her out. I know you want to do things differently than other guys, but since you’re in this bar where she works, so often, it seems like the best place to start is to talk to her, flirt with her, compliment her — and then figure out a good way to ask her out if things go well.

I hope that helps!

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