[matt1971]

In the past 10 years I’ve had to watch 3 of my sisters die from Motor Neuron Disease and from the grief led to depression which led to anxiety/panic attacks. Subsequently I isolated myself from friends, relationships and the outside world for over a year while trying to deal with my anxiety and depression.

Last year with help I became determined to get back out and live life again and part of that was taking up Piano Lessons since I love music and it would get me out. Being lucky I found a brilliant tutor in a local music shop where she was patient and fun to be with but the problem is I’m finding myself more and more attracted to her to the point I have slight anxiety attacks before I go to the lesson and I can’t seem to concentrate during the lesson as I’m still a bit too self concsious and when she’s going over some tutoring all I can think about is how damn attractive she is.

So I’m looking for some advice on what I should do next? Stop and find myself another tutor or try and learn how to cope with situations like this as I shouldn’t run away from every problem life throws at me. I still have low self esteem at the moment like the anxiety I’m slowing getting better but don’t want to risk myself getting hurt again as I think I’ve suffered enough in the past 10 years.

[Ask April Masini]

I’m not sure how old you are, but if you’re in your 20s or 30s or older, you should ask your piano tutor out on a date. You may risk losing her as a piano tutor if the proposal makes her too uncomfortable, but then again you may no! 🙂 You may just win her as a girlfriend. Take the risk and let her know how you feel by inviting her to dinner or better yet, a musical concert that you’ll both enjoy.

[matt1971]

Thanks April for your reply. I’m in 30’s and yes taking the odd risk on something is part of life guess I’m just worried what the rejection will do to my pretty low self esteem at the moment.

[Ask April Masini]

You may be worried about rejection, but that’s just a feeling not a behavior. It’s okay to have feelings, but it’s not okay to let them rule your life. You have to rise above your feelings and do the right thing.

Rejection is part of life, and while you’ve had some tragedy in the loss of your sisters, that doesn’t have to do with dating rejection that most men worry about. So stop linking the two.

If a woman rejects you, she’s just letting you know that she isn’t the right one for you and that’s actually a gift, not a blow if you look at the big picture. You WANT to be with someone who wants to be with you, so if she lets you know she’s not right for you before you waste your time, that rejection helps you find Ms. Right and get back on the right path.

On the other hand, she may say yes, that she’d like to date you, and if so, you’re on the right path!

Don’t let your feelings stop you from living a great life. Ask her out! 😀

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