[Ask April Masini]

It sounds like you want to ask her out now. My advice had been:

[quote]At a certain point, you’re going to have to ask her out on a date again. Timing will be important — it should be when she’s not that interested in her current boyfriend or if she’s broken up with him, or when things are going really well between the two of you. If you can get the date, then the door will be cracked open for you to try and get back together. In the meantime, I think you should keep talking to her, sending her little gifts, and being the kind of guy she wants back in her life. [/quote]

I’m not there, so you’re going to have to gauge whether it’s the right time or now. 😉

[alexandr]

So she keeps sending me messages and there has been more of a conversation going back and forth. She tells me about school, about a job interview she is going for, a job offer she got. One night we spoke over a span of a few hours and it was late at night maybe from 10 – 2am. Even random things like she found out that they serve this drink that I love close to her house now, and she can have it whenever she wants and actually had one the day before and also said she misses the stuff toy she gave me again. But whenever I end the conversation with good luck with your work, or I gotta go but it was nice talking to you have a good night, or talk to you soon, she doesn’t acknowledge or even respond. She will just message me the next day casually about something random like the examples above about school and work. She started posting things back on snap chat but I don’t view any of her stories.

What does this all mean, is my continuing to talk to her working? Is it a sign there might be trouble with her current relationship?

[Ask April Masini]

You’re in the friend zone. 😕

[alexandr]

So what to do, please youre like my only hope, there has to be something I can try, you said to keep talking to her so I have been do I still continue?

[Ask April Masini]

You sound very anxious and that means you’re not taking care of yourself. 🙄 You have to balance taking care of yourself with finding the right time to ask her out. If you’re living in anxiety, then you should just move on. [b]Go back and re-read all the advice I’ve give you — not just about talking to her[/b]. I feel like you want a magic wand to make things different, and this isn’t magic. It’s about people and relationships. 😉 Focus on the balance and like I said, if you’re still anxious, give yourself a time out from talking to her for a year, and then go back and see where you both are.

[alexandr]

hi April, I have read everything and I understand I have to be in a better place it is just incredibly difficult , this girl is like no other we were so comfortable with each other in every way possible. We continue to call each other by our nicknames till even now, I cant even remember a time where I called her by her real name as she did mine. Its just very hard some days are good some are bad. I am still not giving up just wondering about a certain situation thats happening , we were texting before quite often over the last week and it was good back and forth then one day she texted and i responded and went back and forth with mine being the last and she hasnt responded for 4 days . She actually just responded while i was typing this right now !(what are the odds).

My question is that should I respond to her or wait a few days. My plan was I would leave it for a week then send her a message regardless if she contacted me or not I really need to get her in person within a month is my goal.

I know it may seem like a quick fix is what im looking for but its not i just want to do things right to help my chances to getting a meetup. As much as its hard i understand it will take time and I am trying to be patient and I know i will be if thats what i have to do.

[LucyIrish16]

I understand where your coming from completely! I know that within the space of those 4 days every situation possible has passed your mind. In my opinion I wouldn’t ignore her if she texts but leave her for a while and see does she text you first, don’t always be the one to text first. If she is genuinely interested in you she will text first if you don’t text her. Hope still helps and the best of luck 🙂

[alexandr]

should i respond today?

[LucyIrish16]

If you Havnt already try leave it for a while, don’t text her back straight away, leave it for a half hour or an hour

[Ask April Masini]

No.

[alexandr]

i didn’t respond that day but responded the following morning should I have left it for longer?

[alexandr]

i then asked how her exams went cause she was telling me about it last time. and she responded that she is struggling to finish it and will be late for class today. She responded within half an hour. I actually fell asleep and woke up two hrs later and just told her good luck and i hope you get things done. Was planning on texting later on that night to see how it went but i dont think i will . Maybe will do that tomorrow or should i really just lay off.

[Ask April Masini]

Good luck! 🙂

[Ethan Morales]

That’s absolutely in April Masini’s signature style: grounded, encouraging, but realistic. Her tone always blends empathy with strategy she gives hope, but not false hope. Here’s how her advice would read if she were replying directly in her Relationship Advice Forum format, in six short, emotionally intelligent paragraphs (exactly how she writes for her audience):

It sounds like you’re doing a good job rebuilding contact with her slowly, naturally, and without pushing too hard. That’s important. She’s responding, which means she’s comfortable enough to have you in her orbit again. The photos, the “I miss the stuffed toy” messages, and even her random small talk are her ways of keeping the emotional door open just enough.

That said, she’s being inconsistent for a reason. She’s still processing her feelings maybe about you, maybe about the person she left you for, maybe about where she’s at in life right now. You’re not imagining things; she’s still attached to you, but she’s also uncertain. That’s why she drifts in and out. It’s not a clear rejection, but it’s not commitment either.

You’re doing the right thing by not overwhelming her with texts and by keeping the conversation light. Keep that tone friendly, positive, and relaxed. You’re showing her that you’ve grown, that you’re stable and doing well, which makes her feel safe re-engaging. Don’t pressure her for meet-ups just yet; let her curiosity build until she starts to ask about seeing you.

When the timing feels right meaning you’ve had consistent, warm exchanges for at least a few weeks ask her out casually. Something easy, no big “relationship talk,” just:

“Hey, it’s been a while since we hung out. Want to grab coffee or ice cream sometime next week?”
Make it light and nonthreatening. She’ll be more likely to say yes when it doesn’t feel like a heavy emotional moment.

The key is to remember: women come back when they feel emotionally safe and curious again not when they feel chased. Keep the communication natural and let her see, through your life and energy, that you’re the same guy she loved, but more centered and confident.

And finally, keep in mind what I always tell people in your situation: have hope, but don’t pause your own life for her. If she comes back, you want her to meet the version of you who’s thriving not waiting.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

babe… she’s breadcrumbing you. 💔 all those random “i miss the stuffed toy” texts and disappearing acts? that’s her keeping the door cracked while she figures out her own mess. you’re not reading signals, you’re surviving mixed ones.

you don’t need to chase comfort crumbs just because you miss the meal. let her feel what it’s like when you stop being so available. 💅 🖤

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