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april im the nice guy u talk about in some of ur articals …..me an my girl have been together almost 2 yrs now and we have a 7 month old son ……im march last yr i lost my job and we moved back in with my parents after 2 months she couldent stand it…. her and my mother just dont get along so she moved to a diffrent state 1/2 way across the us with our son and stays with her grandmother…. i got a job quick but not making any where close to the money so im still unable to afford to move out on my own she was not working cause there where complications with the pregnacy she has been gone over a yr now and until recent we where doin good considering the situation an she comes to visit every now and it seams she has started to grow distant we dont talk anywhere nere what we did and its tearing me up i dont think she is cheating or anything i was just wondering if there is anything i could do to get her to give me attion and so affection i refuse to cheat on her i love her an wanna b with her but there are alot of other things in the way i just wanna feel loved and appriciated i pay all her bills for her and our son ….. an she cant even give me a little phone time she is very very independent always has been but its just now starting to bother me i mean i feel like a failer as it is cause i cant afford to get us together at the time and her not showing any support is putting way to much stress on me i dont wanna confront her an push her farther away but i cant keep quite either or ill go freakin nutz please help

[Anonymous]

Just an FYI, if you insert correct grammar and punctuation in your posts, you’re more likely to get a response. Just saying, look into it. But good that you’re looking for help, I was given no choice because I was blindsided by my girlfriends dumping of me. I’ve been the nice guy described in the article for the 18 months we were together, and she dumped me to chase after a guy that’ll treat her like dirt. I didn’t understand it, and quite frankly that’s bull. But I hope your situation works out for you, I know I don’t want anyone to go through what I went through. Ever.

[Ask April Masini]

You have a bigger problem than your run away girlfriend. You have a child that you’re not living with or visiting! I don’t understand why you couldn’t go with your girlfriend and your son to live at her grandmother’s house with them. In fact, you should make plane reservations — or train, or bus, or ride-share arrangements to do that, [i]right now. [/i] ❗

Your 7 month old son needs his father’s attention. While it’s admirable that you’re paying for your son’s expenses, money doesn’t take the place of a father’s presence. Your relationship with your son needs to come first because he’s a little boy, barely a year old. So kiss your mother goodbye, and get to the state where your son and his mother are, now! In fact, do it this weekend. Do not abandon your son.

If your girlfriend doesn’t want you to live with she and your son at her grandmother’s house, then find a separate place to live — whether it’s a roommate situation or a rented room in the local YMCA. The bottom line is you need to raise your boy. Agree on a regular visitation schedule to see the boy — you don’t need to ask her permission to see your son the way you would her for a date. The child has the right to see and visit with his father, and you have the responsibility to make sure those visits happen. So get a written agreement from your son’s mother for visits, and stick to that schedule. Never miss a single visit, no matter what. If your girlfriend doesn’t agree to a schedule of visitation, go to court, file for visitation and file to pay support. Ideally, the child’s parents should be able to co-parent the child, but if that’s not possible, use the court to enforce your child’s rights to two parents.

You can get a job in the state where your son lives. Your world has to revolve around him, now.

As for getting your girlfriend back, I think her availability to you is going to depend on how much she wants you to co-parent your son. If she views your being a father to your son as a threat, she’s not going to want you in her life at all. But if she is at all interested in you — [i]even just a drop[/i] — then your best bet is to chase her and make yourself attractive to her. Begging won’t cut it. It’s not sexy. You need to find a way to accept your dilemma and decide to move forward in the best way possible given your circumstances. If she sees you chasing her across the country, getting a job, focusing on a career, working out at the gym and being confident, attractive and a man who takes care of business, she’s going to want to spend time with you. So, man up, and go raise your boy, and get your woman back.

Let me know how it goes! 🙂

[Author]

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