[deanr90]

Hi,

I can’t stop thinking about this girl from work. First off, she’s 19, I’m 25, I’ve never heard her mention a boyfriend either. I’m very shy in nature (always have been), and have never had a girlfriend! The girl is also fairly shy, and fairly quiet. She’s worked in the shop i work for about 6 months now, at first we really only said hello and smiled at each other. More recently however I’ve been working alongside her more and we’ve started chatting more about various things and we also have a laugh about some of the more interesting customers that come in! I tend to be the one that goes over to work with her, I guess I just want to spend more time with her, but then she will sometimes come over and help aswell when I am working on something else.

It must be pretty obvious to her that I like her, however I don’t know whether she is just being polite by talking to me or whether she also likes me.

I don’t know whether I should ask her out, and if so, how should I go about it!

It’s also worth mentioning that we’re both looking for new jobs in different areas. I mentioned to her last week about an interview I would be having and she asked me the following week how this went (one of the few things she’s actually asked me, I tend to be the one that asks her stuff!). However today she mentioned to me that she was having an interview for a job on Monday, but said I was the only one that she’d told as didn’t want to seem stupid if she didn’t get it.

This is part of the reason for me posting on here, as if she gets the job she could leave within a couple of weeks, and if I didn’t ask her out I’d probably keep wondering what if, we both seem very alike so got a good feeling it would work but really want to be able to tell if she’s interested or maybe if the age difference would be an issue.

I really didn’t want things to get awkward if I do ask her out and she doesn’t feel the same way as we’d still have to work together!

All advice is appreciated 🙂

[AskApril Masini]

Definitely ask her out! Invite her to have dinner with you on a Friday or Saturday night. 🙂

[deanr90]

I’m nervous incase I’ve got the wrong end of the stick. How can I better tell if she’s interested in me aswell? Even though she may leave she has friends there and could be pretty embarrassing!

Also, the thought of dinner on a first date worries me, any other suggestions that wouldn’t be quite so formal?

[AskApril Masini]

I know you’re afraid of rejection, and you’re not alone. But you have to face your fears to get your answer. If she’s interested in you, she’ll be happy you asked her out. If she isn’t interested in you, she’ll give you a maybe or a flat out no. And if you get a no, then you don’t have to waste any more time on someone who’s not into you.

If you don’t want to invite her to dinner, then invite her to see a movie with you on a Saturday night — but definitely make it a date — not a hanging out situation where she isn’t sure if you’re her friend or a potential boyfriend. I know you don’t want something formal, but I just want to make sure that you understand that the benefit of a formal date is that there’s no mistaking it for a friend zone situation.

Be clear. Stand up for what you want, and go for it! 😉

[deanr90]

Thanks for the advice, it’s much appreciated!

So she ended up getting this job and will be leaving within a couple of weeks (although still going to be carrying on a night shift just incase it doesn’t work out, but i don’t work nights so won’t see her around). I made sure I wished her luck for the interview and asked her how it went, hopefully this showed her I think about her (hope it was the right move!).

Now I figure I don’t really have much to lose so may aswell bite the bullet and ask her out when the times right. I was thinking of asking her to the movies or bowling, I would prefer something a little less formal and ‘scary’ on a first date atleast. But when it comes to asking her is something along the lines of ‘I really like you and it would be good if we could spend some time together, would it be ok if I took you to x or y and get to know each other better?’ atleast saying it like this there would be no doubt it’s a date scenario, but I worry it may seem a bit much, or could i just say to her before i ask her, this could be a bit awkward, but…. or is that a big no-no?

I don’t really want to ask her to go on a particular day as she probably won’t have much idea of her new work schedule, so I figure I’d just ask for her number and we could wait a few days until she’s settled and then we’d atleast have her new job to speak about also.

Thanks for the advice so far and I’ll be sure to let you know how it goes

[AskApril Masini]

Ask her out on a specific date, for a specific day and time. 😉 Lunch on Tuesday. Pick you up or meet you at Harry’s Bar and Grill at 1:30. Just like that! Or would you like to have dinner with me? Great, how’s Saturday? I’ll pick you up at 7. That’s how you ask someone out on a date.

You have to stop putting this off and just do it! You’re spending way too much energy coddling your fears. 😕

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