[wacki 0335]

Hey Bigmoney11,
I am sure that April will give you some awesome advice, but you will have to listen to her. I should have let her go first, but had to chime in on this one.

First, I joined this forum about a month ago. I have found the advice that April gives to be excellent. She gives it but you have to implement it. You should without a doubt buy her book. If you read it and take it all in, it will help you. I bought her book and it is an easy read. I am about to read it again and again until I know it forwards and backwards. I am a person, just like you, that came here for advice on problems with a guy. The book makes total sense. If you do what she says you can’t go wrong. It is never wrong to become a better person and NEVER too late!!

Second, if you don’t like yourself how can you expect others to. It sounds like you think a guy likes you without letting him pursue you and think that is a relationship before it is and that probably runs him off. Take it slow. Look for the signs.

Third, only you can make you happy. A guy isn’t going to do that for you. Find a way to be happy with you and then look for a guy to share that with. Join some clubs, get out, make friends, etc… Most important buy April’s book. I promise I have nothing to do with her book sells. I just know it is a good book and could change how you date. If you take her advice it will change how you date and think about men. Don’t be a man hater. If you read other post you will see that everyone has made mistakes in relationships and got hurt. I have been single most of my life and that is my fault. I throw away the good one and go for the bad ones. I have to work on that…not give up.

I wish you the best. You are not alone. You are one of many with relationship problems. Just buy the book!!!! and listen to what April says. She really know her stuff!!!

[bigmoney11]

well I am picking myself up. and moving forward. and will get your book soon. I just hope I will learn something from it and besides I should never expect to be with someone who constantly chasing whatever. thanks for the advice.

[Ask April Masini]

You are all over the place. You write that you want to change, then you write that you want people to accept you as you are. You want my advice, but then you wonder if my book will really help you at all. (Without even having read it!) Hmmm…..

I’m not sure you want help. In fact, I think you just want attention. That’s why you keep getting involved with the wrong men. You want attention more than you want a healthy, romantic relationship. You take the attention where you can get it, then you wonder why you have a bad relationship. Well, the answer is that that wasn’t your primary goal. It was the attention. Men who aren’t Mr. Right can still give you attention. In fact, guys who are players will give you tons of attention — until they’re tired of you. Which is what I think you’ve experienced. So the truth is [i]you are[/i] getting what you set out to get. You’re just not acknowledging that it’s attention you’ve been looking for — not a relationship.

If you read your string of posts, you’ll see that you don’t really want to take my help. You just want my attention. It’s not wrong to want attention, but it’s a big problem if you confuse your need for attention with the need for a healthy relationship.

My advice to you, again, is to buy my book and read it. I appreciate all the readers who chime in about how Think & Date Like A Man has helped them move forward in their own lives. It’s only $15.95, and a short read, so if you want to take a night off from posting, and instead, download the book and read it, that might be a great use of your time and money.

I don’t think you’re ready to date at all right now. It’s great that you’re in college and that you plan to graduate this year. For now, it’s probably wise for you to focus on your education and career. Not everybody is ready to date, and until you straighten out your thoughts and focus on what it is you really want in your life, and how you’re going to get it, you’re just going to create more chaos for yourself.

Good luck!

[bigmoney11]

but I wonder how I gtot this way? but I will get your book. and you might be right somewhat. I would like to have a healthly relationship. change the way I talk when I MEET A GUY THat i things like me. being able not to offer so much information. I am here in a state where I know no one. about to move bact to texas. tell me what type of groups should i join just to have things to do. thank you very much.

[Ask April Masini]

You can spend a lot of time trying to figure out how you got the way you are, but you’d do better to spend your time now making your life pleasant.

When you move back to Texas, I’d advise you to join a gym or a YMCA where you don’t have to talk very much to make friends. If you’re in the same yoga or pilates class with someone you can become friends because of your gym schedules, or if you work out on machines at the same time as someone else or some other people, again, you can make friends with them because of the gym schedule.

Get a pet and walk your dog in the park or take join a group of people who walk their dogs together.

Keep it LIGHT! Don’t get all analytical. Enjoy your life. Not everything has to be drama.

[katdawg]

Amen, April! You rock and your book Think and Date Like a Man is awesome! It should be one of every woman’s dating guide.

[Ask April Masini]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m SO GLAD that my book, Think & Date Like A Man, helped you! 😀

[Marcus king]

It sounds like you’re putting real effort and heart into this, but you’re not feeling that same energy back and that’s tough. When someone says they want a relationship but their actions don’t match, it creates confusion and doubt, just like what you’re feeling now.

You’ve been together for seven months, and by now, you should be seeing some kind of growth more closeness, more consistency, and a sense that you’re both moving toward the same goals. The fact that she keeps choosing other plans, avoids trips, and is hanging out with other guys without much explanation shows she may not be as emotionally invested as you are.

The best thing you can do is have a calm

[PassionSeeker]

You’ve been through a lot of disappointment, and it’s understandable that you feel frustrated and tired of getting hurt. But what’s happening isn’t bad luck it’s a pattern you can change. You give too much, too soon, hoping it will turn into love, but that only leaves you vulnerable to people who don’t deserve your energy. Real relationships take time, balance, and mutual effort not just hope or words.

Start by focusing on you. Build a full life friends, hobbies, school, goals so that your happiness doesn’t depend on whether a man calls or not. When you meet someone new, slow down. Don’t invent a dream relationship before you truly know him. Let people earn your trust through consistent actions, not promises.

You’re not too old to change. You’re not unlovable. You just need to protect your heart while keeping it open. The right person won’t make you chase or guess they’ll make you feel calm, valued, and respected. Start there.

[Ethan Morales]

Your feelings are valid. You’re feeling like “second best” and noticing that the relationship isn’t progressing, which is completely reasonable. Relationships require time, attention, and shared effort to grow, and if you’re seeing her only once or twice a week after seven months, it’s natural to feel uncertain and frustrated.

Her words may say she’s committed, but actions often reveal true priorities. In this case, her frequent absence and preference for friends’ activities over spending time with you suggest she isn’t investing in the relationship as much as you are.

The guy friends situation. It’s understandable to feel uneasy about her spending time with other men. While there may be no cheating, it does indicate that her social priorities might not be aligned with yours. Trust is important, but so is recognizing patterns if she consistently places other social activities above you, it’s a signal about her commitment level.

Relationship dynamics and expectations. April’s advice highlights a key point: if you want to feel like a priority, sometimes you need to set the tone. She may not realize how her actions affect you, and “amp up the romance” or showing your affection actively could bring more balance. However, this should be mutual if after effort from your side, she still isn’t reciprocating, that’s a red flag. It’s important to separate: Her not prioritizing you = potential mismatch in relationship goals. Her spending time with guy friends = not inherently bad, but combined with lack of time for you, it can amplify insecurity and doubt.

Where this points long-term Seven months is enough to see patterns. You’re ready to settle down, and the relationship seems stagnant. Actions speak louder than words: if she isn’t making you feel valued, or showing investment in building a future together, this relationship may not meet your long-term needs.

Trust your instincts: if you feel like you’re not a priority, that feeling is meaningful. Have a direct conversation with her about your needs, emphasizing quality time and commitment. If things don’t improve after clear communication and mutual effort, consider moving on to find someone whose priorities align with yours.

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