[jessicanoelle007]

Everyone knows quote “Once a cheater, always a cheater” but is it really true?

My ex-boyfriend and i were going out for about 2 weeks and then i found out he was cheating on me so we broke up. I decided to go back out with him, and we lasted almost 4 months untill he held hands with another girl. I asked him for the truth and he told me it. I decided that i should break up with him for what he did to me, and i did. The thing is that i still love him and i can’t let him go. I want to go back out with him, but i don’t know if i should. My friends always tell me “once a cheater, always a cheater” but i don’t want to believe that. I don’t know what to do. Help?

[AskApril Masini]

You already know what I’m going to tell you….

Nonetheless, while it may sound harsh, I’m going to tell you what I think very directly since you’ve asked.

This guy has cheated on you two times (that you’re aware of). Twice you’ve broken up with him and now you’re considering going back, yet again, for more of the same? If you do (go back), you’re doing so with you’re eyes wide open, knowing exactly what you’re going to get. Please do yourself a favor and do not pretend you don’t know, because you do. Why on earth would you even consider that this time would be any different? Because you’ll threaten to breakup with him again?

Listen to that little voice inside you …. What’s it saying?

The more important question to me is, why do you feel like this is the kind of behavior you deserve? If you don’t treat yourself with respect, why should anyone else?

This guy is who he is. He’s told you, and he’s demonstrated it repeatedly… If you go back, you are accepting him — as is.

My suggestion is that you cease all contact with this guy and start dating other men. There are faithful, good men out there, and you need to find yourself one — assuming that is, you want one?

[Ethan Morales]

The core of the issue isn’t just whether “once a cheater, always a cheater” is universally true it’s that you’ve already seen a clear pattern of behavior. This guy has cheated on you twice in the short time you’ve been together, and you broke up both times because of it. Going back now would be knowingly putting yourself in a situation where the same betrayal could happen again.

April Masini’s advice is spot on: your little voice is trying to tell you something important you deserve respect, loyalty, and a partner who values you. By going back to him, you would essentially be accepting repeated hurt as the norm, which can harm your self-esteem and emotional well-being.

Love doesn’t have to mean staying with someone who disrespects you. It’s possible to still care for him and even miss him, but loving yourself enough to walk away is crucial. There are faithful, good men out there focusing on meeting someone who treats you well is ultimately the healthier choice.

The hardest but most empowering step here is ceasing contact and redirecting your energy toward people and relationships that actually honor you.

[Natalie Noah]

It’s incredibly hard to let go when your heart still feels connected, but you’ve already seen his pattern twice. Cheating isn’t just a one-time mistake; it’s a choice he’s made multiple times, and you already know what that behavior looks like. Going back to him would mean knowingly stepping into a cycle that has caused you pain before, and it’s unlikely this time will be different. Your heart wants him, but your mind knows the truth, he hasn’t shown the respect and commitment you deserve.

The more important thing to focus on is your self-worth. You deserve someone who chooses you every day, someone who honors your trust and values your love. Holding onto him keeps you from finding that person, from experiencing a relationship that’s steady and nurturing. The healthiest choice is to step back completely, stop all contact, and start opening your heart to men who will treat you with loyalty and respect. It’s painful at first, but it’s the only way to protect yourself and to truly find love that’s safe, fulfilling, and lasting.

[Member]

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