[Cat47x]

I’ve been having an online relationship with a guy for 3 months now. We live in different states, we both have successful/demanding careers and we are both married (obviously – not to each and both of our marriages are not super happy situations) Recently – I am sensing some tension with this guy yet he insists on wanting to talk to me on the phone and making the time to talk to me on the phone. I believe he thinks I am not “for real” until he meets me as he will often say – “if we meet…” – Also – he is horrible about email and prefers getting on the phone – he doesn’t really respond to emails. Please don’t tell me to “dump him” when we haven’t even met and we’ve both been clear that we’re not ready to make presumptions about where this is heading – he has said he is falling for me one day and then the next day will “back off” (best way to put it). I really like this guy and want to meet him. Question – does he back off because he thinks we are not going to meet and physically be together (we agreed that first meeting would be somewhat “platonic”) or is he just getting tired of the long distance thing?

[AskApril Masini]

[quote]Question – does he back off because he thinks we are not going to meet and physically be together (we agreed that first meeting would be somewhat “platonic”) or is he just getting tired of the long distance thing?[/quote]

He probably backs off because he considers the relationship more of a distraction from the rest of his life, than a priority, and he’s also probably backing off because he’s involved with his wife and has conflicted feelings about his marriage. He’s also possibly got other women like yourself that he’s having the same type of relationship with — so he’s busy!

I hope that helps. Let me know how it goes, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Cat47x]

Thank you for the reply and I think it’s more the wife element – he has been straightforward about other possible relationships (and they have not worked out – we seem to really gel when we converse) and, to be fair, I’ve had other potential relationships that did not work out and have told him as well…I guess – as a follow up – should I just back off a little until we are able to meet? Again -besides being busy and I am a distant distraction – think he is skeptical that we will actually meet and think that is one of the reasons he tends to back off (and I base this on voice mails he has left stating that he really wants to meet and is hopeful that I will follow through) – he does not have a lot of self-confidence – always doubting compliments I give him – low self-esteem for a guy who is good looking and successful…

[AskApril Masini]

[quote]should I just back off a little until we are able to meet?[/quote]

Backing off doesn’t seem to really work here because he’s already got a wife and he’s probably having other relationships with women like yourself. Plus, I don’t think he really wants to meet you. I think he’s just enjoying the attention and the distraction.

If you’re not happy in your marriage, it seems like the easiest thing to do is to get divorced. That way you can date lots of men more easily.

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