[Anonymous]

Hi I really need some help and I am desperate and willing to try anything. My ex and I had been together just over 3 years until Tuesday. A year ago I cheated on her and we broke up for about a week but ended up getting back together. Everything was going good as far as I knew until Sunday night. Sunday she told me that she still thinks about what I did to her and that it still really hurts. After 2 nights of lots of crying and talking and me trying to persuade her to stay with me she broke up with me. I went over there last night to get my things and we talked for about 3 hours which included crying a little laughing and even a couple hugs and kisses. She now says that she loves me and always will but she has fallen out of love with me and that the reason we can’t be together is because she can’t forget what happened and she is not the type of girl that can move on. Is there anything I can do to try and get her back because I am struggling very bad without her. I know I made a mistake but I think I did everything in this past year to try and make up for it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

[Ask April Masini]

If you read this forum, you’ll see how hard it is for people to get over cheating. Sometimes they never do. It sounds like you’ve apologized, and you’ve agreed to be friends. The forgiving part is her job, but it’s not a required job. You have to understand that while you want her to forgive you, she doesn’t have to, she many not want to, and even if she does, it may take her a long time — if she’s even able to.

All you can do is show her your character and your best sides at the same time, showing her your empathy and understanding for her pain. Be your best self, ask her to forgive you, and then once you’ve put all that out there, understand that it’s her choice, and all you can do is wait.

I hope that helps, and I wish you good luck.

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