[strangelove]

I need an outsiders opinion on a complicated (or maybe I’m just making it complicated) situation. I apologize for it being so long, but please, bear with me. I’m trying to summarize about a year here.
I’m two weeks away from turning 18, and the guy is about 21-23. We’ve worked together for about a year now and have had VERY little comunication. Honestly, maybe about a sentance each. I’ll admit that when I first started there, I noticed he was attractive, yes, but I never really gave him much thought. I had my eyes on another guy who worked with us, but I had known since I was a baby. As far as I remember, he never even glanced my way. The only time he made any indication of my existance was once when we were going for break. The stairs to the break room fit two people on a step, but the doorway only fits one. So we were on the same step and I stopped to let him go first, and he stuck his arm out for me to go before him. That was all there ever was.
All this changed in September when we were both working on a Saturday. There was this one moment when we just locked eyes. It only lasted a few seconds but I`ll admit, since then, I haven`t been able to get this boy off my mind (Blushing smiley). I believe he also started to at differently, looking everytime I`d walk past the room. Later that night, I found out his name from my dad, who also works with us, and was friendly with him before I started working there.
After this, he started doing little things that made me wonder if maybe he felt something too, like looking alot then looking away when I`d look at him (sometimes though, he`d keep staring even after I caught him), putting his things beside mine on the hooks for break and going into the room I worked in to use the sink about 14 times in a span of 4 hours.
Once, I was arguing with my cousin over the phone in the changeroom. This argument was audiable from outside as well. It was a good 5 mins after our lunch break was over, and when I got ouside, he`s the only person still around. I`m still arguing on the phone, trying to get ready at the same time, and he starts getting ready as well. When I hang up, he leaves to go upstairs. Now 99.9% of the time, he is right on time from breaks. Like I said, this was a good 5 mins after the bell went.
Another time, I was working in a different area so I had lunch at a different time. My lunch ended when his started. I went over to the stairs and opened the door and he was on the other side. He stepped back for me to go in first, and I held the door open for him. He went out and whispered `sorry`, avoiding my eyes. Once, while we were waiting at the punch clock, he stood back, not saying anything, letting me go first, just like at the stairs, but this time, the confident arm movement was gone.
The first time I saw him outside of work, I was with my sister at Walmart. My sister noticed him looking over quite a few times. There was one time he saw a girl he knew and playfully hit her with his shopping bag. I looked away, but my sister said he looked over right after. As we were in the checkout line, he started to leave but according to my sister, not before straining his neck to take one last look at me.
Once, I was waiting for the guy who I was intrested in at the begining (who is now one of my closest friends) to drive me home from work. “My guy” and his friend, who is also a friend of mine came out, also ending their shift. His friend asked what I was still doing at work and I replied I was waiting for my ride home. I was on the phone. My friend (the one driving me home) showed up to tell me he was almost ready to punch out was also on the phone with his girlfriend. “My guy” and his friend were making their way over to the change room and he stayed outside, adjusting his things on the hooks as our friend went inside the change room. The friend driving me home’s father (who works there as well lol) saw both of us on our phones and asked if we were talking to each other. We laughed it off, telling him yes, while `my guy` looked on. After my friend left to punch out, he went inside the changeroom, talking to my friend`s father.
Another time, my sister and I were walking and he was outside the library, in his car. When we walked past his car, I was too afraid look in, but my sister told me he looked at my and smiled. I pretended not to see him there. After we walked past the car, he turned it on, and left his parking space, trying to drive in the direction we were going in, but there were plenty of other cars infront, so we lost him. About 2 weeks later, we were walking in the same area, and I saw him talking to another girl. He noticed me watching, and while this girl was talking, he sorta… zoned out. We went inside the coffee shop and I looked out the window a few times. The girl was talking to him, but he was trying to look into the coffee shop window (he was across the street). When we left, he was still looking at me and we ‘locked eyes’ again, until i turned away, hurt, believing he had a girlfriend. Then a group came over, he hugged her goodbye, got in his car and said “I’ll tell dad you’ll be home late.”
At work about a month ago, the summer students started and one of the guys who I became very close to (like a brother and sister) came back. We were working in a the same area, so we had lunch together. Now, I am a non smoker, so I usually have no reason to go into the smoker`s area. My summer friend is a smoker, so I went outside with him. About 15 mins later, `my guy` comes outside to smoke as well. He notices me outside, but looks maybe only once. He`s having a conversation with someone and my friend and I were having our own convo. After, his friend leaves, and he`s alone. That`s when he starts looking a few times, then he turns his back and takes out his cell phone. Usually when he`s in the smoker`s area, he stays until the warning bell is about to go off. He left about 5 mins before his lunch break was over. At that time my summer friend and I had to start going back in from lunch. `My guy` is sitting at his lunch table, playing with his hands. As we walked out of the door, he looked up with this look, which I can only describe as… maybe `sorrowful`? The next day, many of the people I work with started asking me and my friend if we were dating. (although I’m sure this had nothing to do with him)
Now about 2 weeks ago, we had our first actual communication. I went outside to the smoker’s area on my last break, and he was done his shift, but went outside with his friend who also had break at our time. I was sitting when they came outside. One of our supervisors who is friendly with both of us, started talking to me about why I left school. He told me not to mess up my life and go back and “not to be like those guys over there” motioning to ‘my guy’ and his friend. ‘My guy started pacing and more to himself than to me he said, ‘don’t mess up like I did’. He had his back to me while saying this. Taking this opening, I asked, `you didn`t finish?’. He turned to me, shook his head and said no. Break was finishing up so his friend left. It was just us and our supervisor outside. We were talking about my father when he showed up, needing to talk to me. “My guy” watched me leave. The day before this, he was in my way so I had said ‘excuse me’. He sort of jumped and mumbled and apology.
This was the last major event. He confuses me sometimes because some days he looks. Others, he hardly ever does. He’s a pretty quiet guy, on his own mostly. He’s also very polite, and extremely attractive. Yesterday though, I heard from my friend who heard from her brother (who is friends with him) that he’s told him about ‘my girl(s) done this’ or ‘my girl(s) done that’ in the sexual sence. So my theory of him being shy is kind of… bleh. My friend said that people can usually tell the difference between girls who would do things to a guy without being in a relationship and the ones who are more serious about sex. I fall in the last catagory.
Oh and my father told me he noticed him looking over at me before our shift starts in the break room, two to three times a day.
I’m average looking, at best. As I mentioned before, he’s a very attractive guy. Could this guy have feelings for me as well, or am I just seeing things? Wouldn’t he have approached me by now, if he’s already had all these girls? PLEASE help.
Thanks

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Wow. You’re making a big deal out of year’s worth of crushing on this guy who hasn’t said six words to you the entire time. 😕

If he wants to ask you out, he will. Right now, I think he knows you like him, and he’s kind of intrigued, but not interested enough to do anything about it. 🙁

If he knows you’re not quite 18, however, he may be waiting until you turn 18 to ask you out. In fact, he may think you’re just a younger teenager and isn’t interested in dating anyone that young.

Regardless, my concern is not him and his interest — it’s you and your spending so much time wondering. I’d love to see you take a more proactive approach without being aggressive. There is a way that women get men to notice them without throwing themselves at the men or (NEVER, NEVER!!) asking them out or being too assertive. Learning how to give men something to chase is your biggest untapped asset right now.

I think you’d do well to read Think & Date Like A Man, a book I wrote for women who want to get Mr. Right and keep him. You could really learn a lot from some of the techniques that teach you how to get his attention and hold it. I hope you’ll buy the book — it’s only $15.95 and it will save you A LOT OF TIME you’ve spent wondering and hoping. The link to download it is right here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

Let me know if the book helps. I think it will, but I want to hear back from you. 🙂

And check me out on Facebook at this link, where you can become a FREE member of AskApril.com on Facebook: [url][/url]. 😀

[Member]

Posts