[steven84]

First I am currently married and caught my wife cheating in January, I just don’t love her and cannot trust her now, I am going to leave her. I would like to add that I am not only going to leave my wife if I have someone else lined up. She told me so many lies and continued even when I had evidence I just don’t see the same person anymore. I stayed just because I felt my feelings may change and they didn’t, over the past six months I have gotten over her. I am not mad just done, I just feel this new person helped me realize that I can’t stay and do nothing just because its easier.

Now I have been working with a new female employee at my work once a week for about two or three months and she has been aware that I am married since she started. She is very outgoing with everyone at our work because she is a very sweet and genuine person. She seems to prefer working with me and calls me buttercup and smiles when I come in no matter who else is around (but she smiles a lot anyways). We work overlapping shifts so she gets out before I do and she has been wanting me to walk out with her when she leaves. We joke a lot and have fun when we work together, and have many things in common.

I have been trying to drop hints that I have feelings for her, she asked once if I had any friends that she may like and I told her that I didn’t know anyone good enough for her, she smiled and thanked me without quickness or awkwardness. I usually say something about how she is awesome or the best employee where we work (she has also said similar things to me). I feel I drop a lot of obvious hints and she has not shot me down or acted awkward or told others about what I say.

She recently told me that she has been dating a guy she had worked with at a previous job for the last two or three months 🙁. She said that she liked him but that he was not showing much interest (only talking about once a week, etc.) and that she wondered what I thought he was doing and what she should do. I obviously took the opportunity to take him out of the picture (tactfully), I told her what I felt and without much discussion she told me that she fully agreed and that she would stop seeing him 🙂. I took this opportunity to tell her about my marriage problems. She was telling me that I should try to work things out at first, but after hearing how I felt and why, she agreed that I should just leave (again not much discussion to reach an agreement). Also in the moment I let some feelings out and told her that the happiest I have been since this happened is when I get to work with her (again no awkwardness). She then told me that if needed I could stay at her house if I ever needed to (couch, extra room). After her shift I walked out with her, she waited until I walked away and put a note on my car telling me to cheer up and that she would see me in a week.

IS SHE SENDING ME SIGNALS? Now I think she is interested but I am a dumb guy and wonder if she is just a very nice person who thinks my comments are sweet or just lets them go over her head. I just want to hear what some other people think, to help guide me.

Thanks

[AskApril Masini]

When you give a person mixed signals, you’re going to get mixed signals back. By being married and talking about staying on her couch, you’re sending her very mixed signals. My advice is to straighten out your life first before you consider adding someone to it. Divorce is a process and until it’s complete, you’re still married. Even though your wife cheated on you, if she finds out you’re seeing someone — or even interested in someone — she may make the divorce process more costly and difficult than it might be otherwise.

Get divorced. When you’re divorced, THEN start flirting and dating. If you do things in any other order, you’re going to confused, become confused and complicate things.

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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