[Anonymous]

Hello,
Thanks for having such a wonderful site. O my girlfriend and I have been together 3 years and recently broke up for a short period of time and we both came running back to eachother being as sweet as ever.Well we recently got into a fight, a small one, and she ended up calling me names and saying that making things work was a mistake. The we talked and I said I loved her and she said it back and we worked it out, but just as the conversation was about over she began making threats saying if I ever get mad about something like that again she would never speak to me again. She also said I treated her bad just because I said i was upset. She called me countless names and also said it was a mistake working things out and I never called her one name or ran her down in any way. Anyways to make a long story short, I would never make these kind of threats to her, I’d never ever threaten to never speak to her again if she was upset about something I was doing. She did say she didnt mean the names and that I was a mistake working things out during our talk but do the threats at the end signify the end of us? Am I in a 1 way relationship. I can’t imagine life without her April.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Something is bothering your girlfriend, and she’s not being completely honest with you (or herself) about what it is. From what you describe, her behavior isn’t warranted by the fight after three years together. It sounds like things are bothering her more than she’s letting on — or else they’re bothering her more than you’re willing to admit.

It’s hard to make someone want to be with you — in fact, the saddest and most difficult part of relationships is when you want someone, but they don’t want you back. I’m afraid that while you really want this relationship to work out, she doesn’t. It’s hard to let go, especially after three years, but if you keep getting back together, and then she yells and threatens you after each reunion, her method of breaking up with you will be a long term chipping away at the relationship until you both realize there’s nothing there to save.

Love is a great feeling, but a feeling isn’t enough to keep a relationship on track. In fact, many people love each other but can’t be together, and maturity is when you can realize that although you love someone, they’re not a good match for you.

Consider that that’s what is happening here. You may be able to stay together for a little while longer, but I suspect another fight is around the corner, and these blow ups where she acts out in ways that the fight doesn’t seem to warrant are going to be what drives the two of you apart.

I think the relationship is over, but you may not be ready to see it’s end just yet.

[Member]

Posts