[Anonymous]

Hi,
My boyfriend of 3 years and i recently broke up about a month ago. This isn’t the first time we’ve broken up, we’ve broken up twice in the past, he’s always come back with an apology and we’ve gotten back together. But this time, it seems to be for good.He told me he thought i deserved someone better and that he thought he wouldnt be able to take it if i ever started earning more than he did.This is how he always does things. He makes rash decisions and them regrets them later. But i do know that he did care about me a lot and genuinely loved me, i never doubted that fact. The problem now is that i’m not sure if i’ll ever like someone as much as i liked him. And if, despite the fact that i did pretty much most things right, and stuff, things still turned out this way, what point is there in me hoping that i’ll ever be able to find someone right for me? What if this guy was actually the right guy for me, but now he’s gone? Another thing that’s been bothering me is thatmy best friend got a girlfriend, and now i seem to have been almost cut out of his life. i dont think he needs or even wants me anymore. I find it hard to make new friends as well, because people seem to act as though they already have enough friends and aren’t interested in making room for me. I feel like im not good enough for them.
I also don’t want t keep talking about this over and over again to people as i dont want to seem weak or needy. But i really miss this guy even though i know he’s the one who messed up and even though, deep down i know i deserve much better than this kind of treatment. I really don’t know what to do. I’m really trying to be strong and to keep myself occupied and busy with other things and taking up new hobbies. I’ve got rid of all pictures, i deleted him from my friend list so that i wouldn’t get bothered if i saw that he was having fun. I really don’t know what the hell to do. Any advice or help?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You didn’t tell me how old you were or how old he is, so I’m going to guess you’re in high school or college judging from the rest of your post. (It helps if you guys tell me your ages when you post questions! 😆 ) I can assure you that you WILL meet someone who is better suited for you, and you WILL get over this break up.

You got hit with a double whammy — the break up, and your best guy friend finding a girlfriend and naturally cutting you out of his life — so this is an especially hard time to wade through, but you will! 🙂 You’re doing the right things by being busy and starting new hobbies. Keep at that. Make sure you take care of yourself by eating well, exercising and giving yourself treats like manicures, pedicures, a great new haircut and maybe a makeover. All of this will make you feel better and attract other people who are taking care of themselves, too.

Break ups are supposed to hurt and be difficult, but nobody ever died from one. You just have to look towards the future instead of backwards. It might be a very good idea for you to read Think & Date Like A Man, a book I wrote for women who want to win at dating. You’ll like it a lot and it will make you feel more ready to get back out there and be available and looking for Mr. Right. Your last boyfriend was not Mr. Right, and it’s time you figured out what the right guy looks like. This book will help. It’s an automatic download, so you can buy it (only $15.95) here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

I hope that helps. And as part of your renewal, join me on Facebook. AskApril.com on Facebook is free and you’ll have access to others there, too. Here’s that link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your reply, it made sense 🙂
Well, I’m 20 and he’s 21. The thing is, we were both very comfortable with each other and we know each other’s most guarded secrets. There were some things i could talk about only to him, and he’d understand exactly how i felt, and he’d calm me down and almost instantly make me feel better. Basically we know each other inside out. I kind of want him to regret losing me. I don’t exactly regret it, but i do miss him sorely. He was one person i could always count on to give me the truth, irrespective of whether it hurt or not. He wasn’t the type of person who only said stuff if he really meant it.
I’m just scared that i will start comparing every new guy i meet to him. I can’t figure out if he was a jerk or if we just weren’t meant to be together. Part of me even wishes that we meet sometime in the far future and get together again, but maybe this is just because I miss him right now. I don’t know if i’m stupid to be thinking this way.
I have a feeling he’s moving on much faster than i am, though i have no way of knowing it. I do know that he doesn’t like to talk about it and that he’s working as hard as possible to get over the whole thing and keep it out of his mind, because this time we both know that there’s no turning back. I just don’t want him to write me off as just another female, because he did say I was the best thing that ever happened to him, and he meant it. But does this mean that he didn’t want me or thought that he could do much better? His whole “i really do think you deserve someone better, someone who can give you what you need”, was it just an excuse or did he really feel that he did not deserve me?
There was never a moment of awkwardness between us. Even after we broke up, or decided that we would, we decided to hang out for the remaining three days we had together before i went home, and even then it was like we were trying to cling on to every last moment that we could share. It was as though we had never broken up! And both of us were dreading the moment when we’d finally have to say goodbye for once and for all. Since then we haven’t gotten in touch with each other. I did send him an email, but he didn’t reply. I didn’t really expect him to of course, because i was just venting my anger on him, and there was nothing he could possibly say in reply. But i kind of wished he’d try to get in touch.
I can only hope this decision was for our good.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

All your feelings that you’re expressing in this post are normal, but you’re doing a lot of living in your head, and you need to get out of your head and into the real world. 🙂 You can’t control how he feels or what he thinks and whether or not you meet up in the future is something you shouldn’t dwell on now.

Get Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], because it will help you start acting now rather than looking back.

I hope that helps.

And don’t forget to join me on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Member]

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