[Dopey190]

My girlfriend of about 7 months broke up with me at the end of August. Before the break up , we decided to have a child together and we were looking for a house to move into. Around the second month into her pregancy she said that I changed. Said I beame unhappy, and what not. I was happy with her and her 7 yr old daughter. She broke it off because one day she asked me if I cared for her daughter in four different ways. I thought it was rediculous questions and told her no. But I do love her and her daughter very much. I cant believe i said this to her. We never had an argument, well lets say we never screamed at each other. I have been trying my heart out to get her back. The first few months i couldnt leave her alone with all the texts, emails, and phone calls.Before it sounded like she was going to take me back, but i never gave her space. And i kept pushing and making things worsee between us. To the point now, where she says she will never take me back, and we can raise the child as friends. I cant stand this. I know I messed up, and I want to make it up to her. But she doesnt have any feelings for me anymore, and had fallen out of love with me. When I go to her house to visit, which is a rare occasion. She treats me like a bestfriend would. We laugh and I have play with her daughter, we all have agreat time. And this kills me. Cause I fall even more so in love with her. She said when our child gets here I will be able to see them more often, and we will do everything a family would do, however, we will not be toghether. And we do still have intimate encounters. I just hope and pray after our child arrives she will take me back. I told her today that I want her to fall for me again and i will try to make it happen, she said it will never happen and we are done. I dont undertsand how she can be like this, when she told my sister she hass never cared or loved anyone like she has with me. I found the girl of my dreams and I completely ruined it. There has to be a way to get her back. I bought her a ring last week. I m going to kiss her butt for a month or two and ask her to spend the rest of her life wth me. I just dont know what to do anymore and being away from them is so painful

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like the reason she broke up with you had to do with [i]your feelings for her daughter.[/i] 😳 That’s probably where you have to start to win her back. 😉 Mothers can be very protective and close with their children, and I’m not sure exactly what you said, but somehow or other you said something about her daughter that made her move on. Nurture your relationship with her daughter — because even if you don’t get her back, that girl is going to be the half sister to your child with your ex. 🙂

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Dopey190]

She asked if I cared for her daughter and if she got hurt would I care. And I thought these were stupid questions so I gave her stupid answers. I know I should’ve told her how I truly felt. A couple of days ago I was over at there house playing with her daughter. And when it was time for me to leave she didnt want me to. We have always had a great time together. That is why I didn’t understand the questions or where they came from. I just tales to my exs mom and she said just don’t push her and give her time. And I told her i can’t lose her and I love them so much. There has to be a way for her to take me back. I just don’t know what to do. I told my ex I’m not going anywhere and I will always be here.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]She asked if I cared for her daughter and if she got hurt would I care. And I thought these were stupid questions so I gave her stupid answers. I know I should’ve told her how I truly felt.
[/quote]

You need to ask yourself what your ex-girlfriend’s intentions were in asking you those questions. My guess is that that she wanted some type of commitment from you — being pregnant with a second child and the two of you buying a house together skipped a big step (marriage) — and she was trying to elicit some sort of security by asking you about her daughter’s wellbeing and your part in it. In other words, Were you going to be a family?

Honestly, I think you knew what she was doing, and shied away from the commitment that nobody was overtly talking about, by being flip with her in your answers. She heard that you weren’t interested in a commitment and decided to move on to focus on raising her children.

Think about marrying her, and if that’s something you want to do, and why or why not. I think she wants to see the level of your commitment. And she’s picking up on your fear, that you’re not as committed as she wants you to be. Take your own commitment temperature and be honest with yourself, and then her. 😉

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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