[mischa123]

Three months ago, I started work in a new company, which I love. Two weeks ago, we went out with a few people from work and got pretty drunk and the evening ended with me hooking up with a coworker. Before anything happened, he told me it would be better if we just stayed colleagues and I agreed (although we were both pretty drunk). He spent the night at my place and went home early in the morning. i didn’t see him for the next whole week and had no contact with him whatsoever (i did send him an IM to which he didn’t reply, because he was in a business meeting). When I came to the office on Monday, he didn’t even look at me or say hi and he has been acting like he doesn’t know me at all ever since. He’s avoiding any eye contact with me and hasn’t spoken a word to me since we hooked up. We work in an open office area, so I cannot come to him and ask why he is acting this way in front of everybody.
I’m really confused and not sure what to do. I’m afraid to contact him again, because I don’t want to scare him and I’m also afraid he will reject me or not reply at all. Things are getting pretty awkward and i feel like i should do something. I still am attracted to him, but i’m afaid he doesn’t want anything from me and that is why he is acting the way he is. What should I do? Should I contact him again and try make things a little less awkward? Please help!!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m happy to help you. 🙂

Unfortunately, you hooked up with a work colleague who made it clear he didn’t want a relationship, and continues to make it infinitely clear that this is true. You agreed at the time, but now you want more. 😕 I know that you don’t want to contact him because you’re afraid of rejection — but the real reason you want to contact him is that you don’t like the rejection you’re getting now. Contacting him isn’t going to make it less awkward. It’s probably going to make it more so.

My advice is not to contact him and to use the experience as a lesson for yourself. Hooking up with work colleagues is tricky business because you have to see the person day in and day out — regardless of your personal feelings or relationship. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t date someone at work — but dating someone is very different from hooking up when drunk. 😉

Focus on your work, and look for a relationship that starts out as a dating situation, not a hook up. 😉

I hope that helps.

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