[sarapricelli]

I was with my now ‘ex-boyfriend’ for two years. He broke up with me last week after I blacked and slapped him, told him I didn’t love him anymore, etc. Either way, this has happened a few other times when I have blacked out from drinking. I will say things I don’t mean. Basicly I turn into an angry person when I drink, but its only when I black out. Anyway, the point is he broke up with me because this was the ‘last staw’. He told me he still loves me and wants to be with me but he hates the way I treat him when I black out. Other then that he told me I’m an amazing girlfriend but he can’t be with me if I’m going to act like this and broke up with me. I plan on changing and I told him this. Since drinking seems to be where the problem stems from, I’m not drinking for awhile and when I do start to drink again, it will be in moderation. I told him I was going to change, not only because of the way I have been acting towards him but I want to become a better person.

I love the guy to death, knowing what I put him through hurts, but knowing that I’v screwed up and probably won’t get another chance hurts even more . Besides changing, I don’t know what else I can do to get him to give me another chance.

He still tries to hang out with me and cuddle with me and stuff but I don’t want it to be like that unless we are actually dating. I told him that, and he said he was going to try to stop acting like that towards me, but it’s hard to stop since he still likes me and we were together for so long. It seems like he really cares about me still. I just don’t know what to do from here. Should I give him space and pretend to be happy and hope he comes back to me? Any advice on what I should do?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You have a serious problem and your ex-boyfriend did the right thing by setting up a boundary (even though he’s having trouble upholding it) and telling you that the relationship is over because of your behavior.

Your behavior may stem from drinking, but it may, more likely, stem from something in your past that causes you to drink to such excess that you black out and become abusive. Blacking out from alcohol abuse is very serious, and you can die from alcoholism if you don’t treat it seriously.

My advice is to not have any relationships with men right now. Instead, accept the gift he’s given you — focus ONLY on your disease and your recovery. Ask for help from your doctor (be honest about the black outs with him or her), your family and anyone you trust in your church or religious circle. This doesn’t sound like the kind of drinking you can stop and then re-start “in moderation”. Honestly, it sounds like you and alcohol need to separate forever.

This is a big deal — value yourself and health and only then, when you’re REALLY on the road to recovery, can you consider a relationship with a man. 😉

Good luck!

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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