[painfullyoblivious]

Hello April! I’m really hoping you can help me out on this as I have NO clue what to think 😕

Let me start by saying I’m an in-college virgin and I’ve never had a girlfriend… sounds bad, I know. There’s this girl in 2 of my classes though! (we’ll call her Amber) She’s [b]gorgeous.[/b] The type I’d find out of my league even if I HAD tons of dating experience. I normally never even approach her type, but when I saw we had 2 classes I figured I could at least be platonic friends so I approached her… she seems to like me pretty well! We sit together in class, she always wants to walk with me in between classes and she just seems to like being around me in general. I get somewhat of a vibe from this, but I’ve brushed it off as just “good friends”.

I should mention there’s another girl (we’ll call her Betty) that’s buddies with us in one of our classes. One day Amber walked away to do something and Betty began asking if I’ve asked her out, why not, and suggesting I do because we’d “make a cute couple”– she said this more than once and the entire conversation almost felt set up. Like Amber TOLD Betty to ask me. This really made me start to wonder if perhaps she DOES see me as more than friend. Amber came back but I was too chicken to ask 😳

Which brings us to today: While we were working, Amber turned to me and began asking if I’ve heard of her ex. I have. He’s a starter for one of the powerhouses in college football, i did not, however know they used to date. So Amber asks me if I think she should go back to him or no 😐 instantly, I begin to feel I’m in the friend zone. I told her I’m not really in a place to say yes or no because I’ve never even met the guy (she didn’t really give anything about him either other than who he is) I asked what does she think she should do and she just said “I don’t know” and seemed to ponder on it… the entire ordeal has left me confused. Surely she wouldn’t ask me that if I WASN’T in the friend zone, correct? So why didn’t she ask Betty?! She’s another girl and they talk all the time… yet this conversation was strictly between Amber and I. What does this mean??? Am I in the friend zone? Was she trying to hint that [b]I’m[/b] bf material and should pursue her??? I don’t understand 😡 help me April, you’re my only hope!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

YOU’RE the one putting yourself in the friend zone — not her. Ask her out on a date. That’s the only way you’ll a) get out of the friend zone, b) find out how she feels about you.

You’re not the first or last person to lack experience, but the only way you’re going to get it is to put yourself up to bat and swing! 😀

I hope that helps. Let me know how it goes, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[painfullyoblivious]

Hello April,

I met a girl online back in October and we really hit it off. Things were going well up until a ruined date and I got the dreaded “Lets be friends for now” talk, and so we were… but it started to cause problems because I know where my interest is with her and its not to “just be friends”. We had 2 other minor hiccups, but they panned out.

Time passes, I do a bit of pressing out of frustration, and she agrees hat she’s interested in seeing if we can grow into a real relationship. Later that same night, we had the dumbest misunderstanding ever, but one that left me seriously upset with her. I made the mistake of saying I might need a few weeks. That was the last time I saw her.

A few days later I called to talk about it and she called me from her [i]real[/i] number– a first, since up to that point, it had been google voice. The call turned into an argument though, “because she said she wanted to see where it would go and I told her no so now that means she’s going to be alone and avoid dating. Anyone.”– I thought I’d managed to turn the call around though by the end cause I’d got her a bit back on my side and considering hanging out later that week. That was the last time I talked to her. It didn’t pan out, no biggie. Thanksgiving rolls around the next week, she goes out of town (we did a little texting before then) and that was the last I heard at all… I tried calling/texting after the break to no avail.

I have no idea what on Earth this means though… Am I getting “the silent treatment”, or have I been forgotten forever? I mean, you don’t call someone on number you [b]know[/b] they don’t have to tell them something like that, right? 😐 I don’t know whether to fight for her, step away and let her breathe, or count it all as another loss. April and others, what’s your take?

[painfullyoblivious]

[quote=”painfullyoblivious”]Hello April,

I met a girl online back in October and we really hit it off. Things were going well up until a ruined date and I got the dreaded “Lets be friends for now” talk, and so we were… but it started to cause problems because I know where my interest is with her and its not to “just be friends”. We had 2 other minor hiccups, but they panned out.

Time passes, I do a bit of pressing out of frustration, and she agrees hat she’s interested in seeing if we can grow into a real relationship. Later that same night, we had the dumbest misunderstanding ever, but one that left me seriously upset with her. I made the mistake of saying I might need a few weeks. That was the last time I saw her.

A few days later I called to talk about it and she called me from her [i]real[/i] number– a first, since up to that point, it had been google voice. The call turned into an argument though, “because she said she wanted to see where it would go and I told her no so now that means she’s going to be alone and avoid dating. Anyone.”– I thought I’d managed to turn the call around though by the end cause I’d got her a bit back on my side and considering hanging out later that week. That was the last time I talked to her. It didn’t pan out, no biggie. Thanksgiving rolls around the next week, she goes out of town (we did a little texting before then) and that was the last I heard at all… I tried calling/texting after the break to no avail.

I have no idea what on Earth this means though… Am I getting “the silent treatment”, or have I been forgotten forever? I mean, you don’t call someone on number you [b]know[/b] they don’t have to tell them something like that, right? 😐 I don’t know whether to fight for her, step away and let her breathe, or count it all as another loss. April and others, what’s your take?[/quote]

[April Masini, your AskApril]

She’s not interested. Time to move on!

Go through the metaphorical doors that are open, so you can have a great dating experience. When someone doesn’t want to date you, accept the rejection as a gift that will set you back on course, away from those who aren’t interested, so you can go out there and find someone who is! 😉

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