[ben_outdoors26]

I met someone and it was instant — the kind of connection I’d only read about. We fell in love fast, shared values, and for a while everything felt perfect. She’s adventurous, worldly, funny and kind; I’d never met anyone like her. We spent five weeks together, then four months long-distance while she traveled, then I joined her abroad so we could be together. I gave up jobs, worked nights to save, and flew across the world because I believed in us.
On the trip my lifelong anxiety and panic attacks flared up badly. In unfamiliar places I felt breathless and overwhelmed; instead of being my usual fun, curious self I became quiet, clingy and terrified. I couldn’t plan things or take the lead, and she who’s used to organizing adventures began to get frustrated. Small tensions snowballed into daily bickering. I felt misunderstood; she felt disappointed. We agreed that once home we’d have time to rebuild, but two weeks after returning she told me she couldn’t be in a relationship. She said being tied down felt like it would stop her from finding herself and traveling and that the magic was gone.
We’ve been broken up two months. I’ve stopped having panic attacks (I’m in treatment and doing much better), I’m calmer, and I’m working on myself. I still love her and feel she was my soulmate; I’m convinced the anxious version she saw overseas distorted who I really am. I want her to see the man she originally fell for. But she’s distant we haven’t spoken in two weeks because it was getting tense — and I don’t want to pressure her.
Has anyone recovered a relationship after something like this — where panic/anxiety ruined a trip and one person lost feelings? How do I show her that I’ve changed without smothering her? Should I give it more time and wait, or is there a way to reach out that invites honest conversation (therapy together, a letter, a calm meet-up)? What do I say that’s honest but not desperate? I’m desperate for realistic, gentle advice.

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