[bountyhunter]

Ok im new to this but here it goes………..

about September time her behavior changed i could tell something was the matter she stopped being intermittent with me
so i took the task of finding out
i ask her and her reply was “everything’s fine”
i re decorated the house she loved it but still no change
i filled up her tank with gas she thanked me for it and still no change
so i kept an eye on her behavior still
sleepless nights started to appear
messaging friends more and more

so one day a few weeks ago after trying to get it out of her i wrote her a letter regarding my feelings that something was wrong my friends said i was brave but i needed to get to the bottom of it

she messaged me while i was at work “we need to talk”
i replied “thank you”
at last the message sunk in

so we talked she said she needed time on her own we were both crying and upset i accepted it i told her she was my rock she said i don’t know how to be my own rock so i don’t know how to be yours but she didn’t want to tell me in the first place because i had allot going on at work
she was worried about how i would take it thinking i might go off the rails

but i took time out for my self started golf and going the gym which made me feel better about my self

one day while i was at work that week she just moved all of her stuff out and i was like WOW what happened she came round about 1 hour after i got back i acted cool about the whole thing and kept smiling she said “you look happy”
i replayed “yeah i feel good” what about you she just shrugged her shoulders.
she had a coffee and we had a chat about our week didn’t even mention the move out she just done etc

so at the moment if she calls me or messages me i reply or answer keeping it calm not putting her under pressure but answer her in a mature way i called her babe a few time when she has called round to visit but that’s my natural habit

she is back at her parents at the moment she has been out with her friends and now learning to do the choirs what you do when you live at your parents after living with me and being independent for 2 years. when we first met we had both come out of relationships.

at the moment i am giving her the space and i respond in a calm meaningful manner
i get on well with her family and friends.

the question is am i doing the right thing or am i missing something
she seems to have put on her cloak and dagger and is not telling anyone her personal business not even her friends and family
if i put a message on her pictures on facebook she deletes them like im giving the game away to people

any tips and advice is much appreciated

[AskApril Masini]

How old are you both?

[bountyhunter]

She’s 22 I’m 26

[AskApril Masini]

Thanks for that information. Your ages make a big difference — especially hers. Because she’s 22 years old, I’m guessing that she moved out of her parents house, and in with you — in addition, you mentioned that both of you had been in prior relationships before dating each other, and that means you could be her rebound relationship. For some people, after coming off a relationship, it’s better to be single and process what happened before jumping into a new relationship and realizing down the line — even two years down the line — that you didn’t really get to play the field and experience being single. It sounds like that’s what’s going on with her now. In other words, it’s not you — it’s her.

I think you’re doing the right thing by giving her space and moving on. 😉

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[bountyhunter]

Yes we met while we were both with partners and we saw it as love at first sight and i have my own home so she very easly fell in to moving in with me as you would do when your head over heals we dated for 6 months and then ditched the parteners for each other

The only thing I can do is let her make her mind up in time

[AskApril Masini]

Got it — so you were dating other people when you met each other. I guess everybody reading is wondering if you were in long-term relationships with other people or if these other relationships you both had were casual ones. Because if you were all playing the field, that’s different than if you were in committed relationships with others, while you secretly dated each other for six months and then ditched your partners for each other. If it was the latter, there’s a good chance she’s probably doing the same thing again. She may be the type of person who doesn’t want to be alone, so when you first noticed some distance in your relationship with her, back in September, that may have been when she either became interested in someone else, or started dating them. It’s also why she may be deleting your presence from her social media, because she’s dating and wants to present as unencumbered.

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